Indoctrinated (King County)
by walkingwings
Summary: Teenage AU! There's no zombie apocalypse, unfortunately. It's Rick, Michonne, Glenn & Daryl (plus others) as teenagers living in King County. It will be intense. It's rated M for mature themes & serious depictions.
1. Chapter 1: Intro

intro: I plan for this to be about 20 chapters long. Plus there's a lot I haven't developed yet. This a teenage AU, no zombie apocalypse unfortunately. It's Rick, Michonne, Glenn & Daryl as teenagers going through a tough time in their young lives. They each have their own individual issues which are causing them immense pain. Their decisions will determine what will happen.

* * *

prologue:

There was always something so beautiful and so sad about watching people cry. Yet in this moment, all she felt was the tragic sadness that came with watching her best friend of eight years fall apart right before her eyes. He was devastated. They both were at this point. The life that they thought they had together all that time ago was a vicarious figment of the imagination. It was never as pretty as they thought it was going to be. It was a dream that was never meant to come true.

Every precious thing in the universe would eventually fade out. They wouldn't come back.

* * *

Chapter 1: Intro to Our Family

King County. 2:00 AM:

"This is it guys. This could possibly be the last time we're together like this."

"Shut up, Glenn," Daryl spit out as he bumped the younger kid's shoulder playfully. "You're so pretentious, you know that?"

Glenn just straightened out his shoulders and fixed his worn out baseball cap before quickly and smartly responding, "I am _not_ pretentious. Do you even know what that word means, dumbass?"

"Yeah, _do you_ Tiny Tim?"

Rick and Michonne shared their usual look before rolling their eyes at the two. After years it seemed like their banter would never come to an end. Daryl liked bikes. Glenn liked computers. They liked each other too, so none of it truly mattered. They were up there together as a celebration-minus Glenn who was just a junior, they had just graduated high school the previous week. 'King County Graduates!' the sign had read. The school held all of 228 kids and close to zero hope for a pretty future.

The ungodly hours of the morning seemed to be their favorite time to get together. It was a time their young minds were allowed to be numb.

"Pass that to me, will you?" Rick yelled out to Daryl, who was two people away from him. The drinks might have helped a bit too. They passed the glass bottle back and forth until their thoughts disappeared. Smoking and drinking were practically inevitable.

The four of them sat lined up with their legs dangling out into the star-twinkling sky. They were together at the very top of the water tower they escaped to often just at the edge of King County. There, they could see the world and ironically, from that height, things weren't so scary anymore. It was innocuous, the way they were.

They could forget about all the things that pushed into their minds when they were left alone for too much time. The upcoming presidential election that would quite possibly determine their futures, whether or not they did well enough on every test they had taken since they were fourteen years old and inevitably too scared to try.

"You still got a whole 'nother year kid," Daryl teased just after spitting sunflower seeds over the edge of the impossibly tall water tower which they were illegally occupying. He watched them fall until they were too tiny to see.

"Daryl!" Rick and Michonne whisper-yelled at the same time.

"If they find us up here a second time, we _will_ be arrested," Michonne said to Daryl in a way that sounded very much parental. Daryl would never admit that he appreciated it.

"So what?" he responded in spite of himself, "This town is a dump anyway. You know that better than any of us, Mute."

The last part had been practically whispered, but it sounded like screaming to Michonne's troubled mind. "Yeah, you're right," she lied with ease and the best poker face anyone had even seen took it's place with her expression. It was what she had to do to make it in a town like King County.

However, Rick wasn't as convinced as the other two. He stared at Michonne's profile with a look so deep and meaningful that Michonne was forced to look the other direction. Away from his glinting, intelligent eyes. The two of them would talk later.

"Rick, Mute, look!" Glenn yelled to them excitedly, pulling them out of their temporary distraction.

The four kids looked to the plane that shot through the sky at a speed that resembled that of lightening or thunder. Lights shined from it and the water far below brightened from it's reflection. It was no shooting star, but it was a sight to see growing up in a place like King County. It was so close to the water tower that they could feel the wind rush by, causing them to hold on to the rails just a little tighter.

"It won't be the same without you guys," Glenn spoke sadly out of nowhere, putting his head down in a way that stirred pity in the stomach's of each of his best friends.

The older kids didn't exactly know what to say. None of them had ever been particularly popular, so they knew exactly what he was going through.

"We still got the summer," Rick said cheerily, reaching out to push him a little on the shoulder. "And hey," he spoke, "Maybe one of us or all of us will end up staying in this shit hole for college. Then we'll have no choice but to see each other's faces all the time."

The joke didn't seem to make him feel better. In King County, people saw Glenn as the weird little dork whose only friends where three seniors who were possibly even weirder. They saw him as a kid they could pick on and copy homework off of and nothing more. He had never really fit in with people. At least in the prior years, he had people to protect him. Now, he would have nobody in this place. Yet, he remained unadulterated by the torturous world surrounding him.

"That's weeks away, Glenn," Michonne shot his way from where she sat on the left side of Rick, "No matter what happens, we have our phones. We'll always be important to each other."

"Yeah," Daryl agreed, "This ain't goodbye."

"It isn't," Glenn sighed to himself imperceptibly. "I'm just sad, I guess."

'We all are, kid," Daryl whispered before bringing one of the beer bottles back to his lips in an effort to erase the pain. They weren't just friends, they were family. They were all they had.

They stayed up in the water tower for another two hours before eventually climbing down the tall latter. Daryl led them to their usual spot in the woods and they talked all night. They talked until they were sure there was nothing possible in the universe left to talk about. Glenn could've been right-this could've been one of their last times together. So they acted like dumbasses and they laughed like the kids they were.

* * *

Once Daryl had snuck through the window to his tiny bedroom and Glenn had been walked home, it was just Rick and Michonne. They walked together in comfortable silence, their hands occasionally touching due to the tiny space that separated them. The sun was threatening to come up behind them, but they kept walking. The temporarily tranquil environment surrounded the space they occupied.

King County. 6:28 AM:

The trees swayed with the light windy-breeze and the birds began to sing, not missing a beat in their usual performance.

"What happened before," Rick inevitably began, "What Daryl said, did it bother you?"

Michonne was quick to reply, "What? No," she was the one to quicken their pace through the silent neighborhood, "You know how Daryl is. He didn't mean anything by it."

"Michonne. Please."

She knew it was serious. They only used her real name when it was serious.

"I know you don't like to talk about it-"

"If you know that," she interrupted, stopping suddenly on the sidewalk, "Then why are you trying to make me talk about it? Why, Rick? This always goes the same way with us."

She was upset. Just as he knew she would be. But he had to try because sometimes you have to be honest, even when it's painful.

"Did you take the pills I got you?" Rick asked out of the blue. There was zero hesitation in his tired voice.

"Jesus," she whispered to herself shakily. "No, Rick," she let out so quietly that it was as though she was afraid one of her parents would appear out of thin air though they were a distance away, "They'd know. Or-or they'd find out somehow."

"You need them," he pushed gently, "I've seen what happens when you don't take them. I know you've been trying to hide it-you might have Daryl and Glenn fooled but you can't fool me, Michonne."

It was then Michonne noticed pools of water forming in her best friend's ocean-like eyes. Eyes she had known for what seemed like a lifetime.

'What the fuck," she whispered sadly before looking him dead in the face for the first time that night, "Just because I'm in pain doesn't mean you should be too."

"Your pain hurts me too." He was sincere. She hated every bit of it. She hated what her illness had done to the people who were important to her.

"You're sufferin'-and you're scared to talk about it because of how things have been for you when you try to. I know that. I just want you to be okay." His bright blue eyes had turned icy in the past couple weeks.

The world seemed to freeze in time after he said that. The inevitable had happened long before she intended for it too. "I will be. I promise." Though they were walking again, she looked him right in the eye-right down to his soul-so he would know she was telling the truth.

"Fuck them, you know that?" Rick spit out angrily, "What they've done to you, it isn't okay."

"I know that too."

"Parents shouldn't be that way."

Michonne scoffed in disbelief, though she knew he was right. It drove her insane just how right he tended to be, even when he didn't know everything. "Yours aren't any better. So don't pretend they're perfect."

"At least mine don't willfully keep me from doctors when I'm sick."

"Wow," she laughed to herself, "I forgot how much of a know-it-all dick you can be when you're drunk."

They both knew he wasn't drunk. Neither of them said a word about it.

"I know I don't understand the whole thing, but it's like you let them walk all over you. Why?"

"I don't know," she sighed out truthfully, "I don't know another way. Maybe it's some twisted type of penance." His usually bright eyes were pleading, communicating the obvious, painful words.

Although they were using their words to bite, their voices never rose above a whisper. They knew better than that. There was an uncomfortable pause before she began to speak again.

"So your parents are insanely strict, Daryl's don't give a shit about his welling being, Glenn's-well, you know how they are. But mine? They just don't care about what happens to me at all." Michonne's voice was trembling and boiling with emotions held back. Rick just watched her sadly, his own poker face finally disappearing.

"Please, don't ever let anyone tell you you deserve that." was Rick's instant reply.

"I don't want to talk about my parents right now, okay?" She was pissed off but she couldn't figure out exactly why. Was it because Rick was right and she was scared to admit it? Was it because everything was starting to fall apart in her life and people were starting to see it-to notice?

His perfect facade dissipated right before her eyes. "Okay. Just-the important thing is," Rick spoke with a softer tone this time, reaching out to place his hands over her tiny, prominent shoulders, "We're only 18 years old, and you promised me we'd see 40 together."

"I intend to keep that promise," she said as she covered Rick's hand over her left shoulder with her own. Showing instead of telling was usually their thing, but sometimes the words were good to hear too.

"Then will you just think about it?" He pleaded weakly, "If not for me, then will you just do it for yourself?"

She could only nod and Rick wasn't about to push her for more. She promised she would try and that was enough for him for the time being. He was going through something torturous too, and maybe that was why he felt the need to protect her from her own unpleasant inflictions.

"You don't have to protect me."

"But I will. You know I will," he pushed, "It's what we do."

"Please don't patronize me Rick."

"I'm not," he said back instantly, "I'm telling you the truth."

Yet another pause took it's place.

Suddenly, that big, dorky grin took it's place on his young face as if he hadn't just been on the verge of tears. They all had their ways of keeping the pain at bay where it belonged. "The boys want to go out for ice cream tomorrow, you in?"

She had always admired how he could be so happy after witnessing such sad things in his life. She wished she could be that way too. To be able to bounce back like that was something she had wanted for years. But it was a dream that wasn't going to come true for somebody like her. It was a peculiar and inconceivable idea.

"Yeah," she grinned back, trying to mirror it with Rick's enthusiasm, "I'm in."

It was almost like the serious talk they just had didn't happen. It was almost like they were two carefree kids walking home together after a late night out, the world sparkling behind and all around them. The place they grew up in was bad, but the people they grew up with made up for it. At least they tried to.

The two of them just walked at a slow pace, grinning at each other like idiots until they heard a car zooming their way.

"Shit!" Michonne yelled as the two of them quite literally dived behind the nearest bushes. Everybody knew everybody in King County and neither of their parents would like to know what their kids had been up to while they were sleeping.

"Woo! That was close," Rick breathed out excitedly.

"Dumbass," Michonne mumbled as she pushed him off of her. While she had just pushed it off, Rick knew she was scared of what would happen if they had been discovered. They didn't talk about that part, either.

Just like that, they were walking again. Up until they reached Rick's house, the second to last stop. Standing out in the open like they were was dangerous, but they didn't give a damn.

While Michonne had always been timid and introverted, Rick was the exact opposite. "What, no kiss goodnight?" he smirked.

Michonne rolled her piercing eyes fondly, pointing up into the sky as if it was obvious. The sky was becoming lighter by the second. "Don't you mean good morning kiss?" She paused and then added teasingly, "And I though we didn't do that type of thing anymore?"

"I guess I just got tired of kissing Daryl's butt all the time," Rick joked back. It was an inside joke created way back into their childhood that always made them laugh. They were much younger and much less worried at the time.

"I'll see you at the ice cream shop, Rick."

He could barely contain his disappointment, but he smiled back anyway. "Yeah, I'll see you."

She began to walk away, towards her own home. She never told her friends how much she hated going back there. To her parents and every reminder of the traumatic things she'd seen in her short life on the planet earth.

Being young meant not having everything figured out yet, and for the time being, that was okay. With the most important people there in each other's lives, the impossible seemed possible.

"2 o'clock?" She called quietly over her shoulder, knowing that he would be able to hear her.

"2 o'clock!" he yelled back.

He was through the window and disappeared before Michonne could tell him not to yell outside. She just kept walking.

* * *

 _You've got to leave behind everything you thought you knew. You know nothing._

 _"I've seen this movie twice before.. I can't get away and you will never leave me.. it's time to do the right thing and give you back.. yeah 'cause I'm done stealin'.. truly that is something I believe" done stealin'_


	2. Chapter 2: The Pills Did It

Thank you to the people who left input on chapter 1. Chapter 2 won't disappoint you.

warning: it's a very weighted chapter. it's important to the whole none-the-less.

* * *

Chapter 2: The Pills Did It

 _Past_

" _What's your name?" asked a much younger, exuberant Rick._

 _Michonne just ignored him, pulling her tiny knees closer to her chest and glancing at the other kids running around and playing from where she sat against the brick wall in the shadows._

" _What?" he teased, "You're not gonna tell me?" She just turned away from him, trying to act like he wasn't there and blocking the view of the playground._

 _Once he realized she really wasn't interested in talking to him, he frowned to himself petulantly. His young mind couldn't comprehend a kid who wouldn't talk._

" _You don't talk much, do you? That's okay," young Rick said cheerily, "I'll sit with you anyway, since you looked lonely all by yourself."_

 _Since he could only see the right side of Michonne's young face, he couldn't see the small smile that had taken form on the left side of it, a tiny dimple appearing there too.  
_

 _After a couple seconds of unbearable silence, Rick spoke again, "You see that kid over there?" he pointed towards the swing set where a blond-ish boy was trying to climb up it while being profusely scolded by a teacher. "That's my best friend, Daryl. He didn't really talk a whole bunch when we met either, but he does now."_

 _Somehow at the precarious age of 10, he was able to look incredibly pensive. He turned to her and said, "That's how I know you can be friends with us too." His smile was so big and dorky that Michonne couldn't help but to smile back, her pretty eyes twinkling and a precious, nearly inaudible laugh escaping her lips. "Oh! And that's my other best friend over that way, Glenn," he said, pointing to where a smaller, younger boy was using the swings out by himself, "He's only in 4th grade, but we think he's pretty cool too."_

" _Do you always talk this much?" the suddenly not-so-timid young Michonne asked out of the blue. He was stunned by the sound of her octave voice paired with her cute smile. He didn't know what word to use to define the moment. He pushed it aside for the time being._

 _Michonne didn't know much about this boy, but she liked his unforgivingly blue eyes and his big heart._

" _Definitely more than you, I think," he answered truthfully._

Present

King County. 6:48 AM

"Where've you been, little brother?" It was Rick's older brother, Jeffrey, who was home from college for the summer. He had just won a scholarship playing football for Penn State in the past year. Rick could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath before trying to casually turn around, "Uh, nowhere."

The two of them stood facing each other in the kitchen, the place Rick had just tried to sneak into unnoticed. Rick knew his brother could hear the chilled nerves in his voice.

"Just go," Jeffrey sighed to his younger brother out of pity. He truly looked scared. "You're lucky dad isn't up yet." Their dad was possibly the strictest person they ever knew. He treated his kids like they were soldiers and not innocent children. Even his young daughter. The chief of police wouldn't let up.

The house was sparkling clean and nearly empty, just like it always was. The silence was almost palpable between them. They had the same piercing ocean-blue eyes and wavy hair. But other than that, they were worlds apart.

"Thanks," Rick whispered sincerely before making a beeline for his bedroom upstairs. Once there, he shut the door and plopped down onto his unmade bed.

He looked to the mirror that lay on his low dresser to see just how unruly his curls were looking. _Worse than I thought._

While he lay in bed as peacefully as possible, all he could think about was his friends. He hoped Michonne made it home okay as he regretted not walking the rest of the way with her. He hoped Daryl's dad would just leave him the hell alone for a while.

The world was moving too quickly and too much bad shit was happening to people who probably deserved it the least out of anybody. The thought of it made him dizzy.

As a kid, Rick had always been infatuated with the idea of true happiness. Ever since the first time he realized his parents weren't nearly as happy as they pretended to be for their kids' sakes. It was right around the time his younger sister, Judith, was born. Everything felt like a lie all of a sudden. Nothing was secure. It hurt. It pricked tiny little holes until those holes collectively made one huge, gaping space.

A buzz from his bedside table brought Rick out of his thoughts and back to the real world.

His phone.

He picked it up and sighed before reading the text which read _I'm sorry about the way I acted before, I know you were just trying to help. I love you, pretty boy. M x_

"Mute," he whispered to no one in-particular, "I don't deserve you."

 _It's okay_ he wrote back _I understand, I didn't mean to push you. I'll see you at 2.._

 _I love you too._

* * *

King County. Ice cream shop. 2:28 PM

"How're you kids doing today?" called the friendly ice cream shop keeper.

"We're okay," they said back at the same time.

It wasn't the truth, but it didn't matter to either party.

"She was supposed to be here at 2 o'clock." Rick glanced down at his watch, biting his lip nervously.

Daryl patted his shoulder in an effort to calm him down, "Don't worry about it, man. I'm sure she'll come when she wants to."

Rick, Daryl and Glenn sat at their usual spot outside the King County ice cream shop. The town's only one. The day was pretty and the sky was clear. The one thing missing was Michonne. It wasn't like her to skip out on plans with her friends.

"I don't know," Rick said with worry, "It isn't like her not to meet up with us."

Daryl could only nod after that, knowing how much Rick tended to worry about Michonne. She was one of the most important people in his life. One of his top priorities.

Glenn was still sullen, but he sat with his friends anyway, his baseball cap lowered over his face as if it would to hide his sadness. He wasn't much of a talker when he was feeling down. His vanilla ice cream cone had turned to sloppy mush in his hand, running down his fingers. Glenn couldn't bring himself to care. The feelings from the previous evening had unfortunately found their way back into his system.

"I think I should go see if she's okay," Rick announced, his two friends unsurprised.

"You want us to come?" Daryl asked. He was truly disturbed by the dead look on his friend's determined face.

"Nah. It's okay. Thanks. I'll go." Just like that, he was on his twenty speed mountain bike, pedaling as quickly as he could to get to Michonne's place. His ice cream was left on the outdoor table to melt under the pounding heat of the sun.

Daryl and Glenn were left thinking about both of them. They hoped it wouldn't end the way it usually did.

* * *

When he arrived in front of the Thompson's house, he threw his bike down on the sidewalk without care and walked quickly towards the door.

It was unlocked, and before Rick knew it, he was inside surrounded by a group of angry people spewing hateful words at each other.

"Are you the one who got her these?" Michonne's dad spit at Rick, shoving the bottle of pills in his face.

"Yes," he simply answered. Although he was panicking, he wouldn't let it show. Michonne was on the verge of tears as she stood a couple feet from her dad. Her mom was by the stairwell. This wasn't good.

"Dad, he was trying to help me," Michonne pleaded.

"With what?" Her dad fumed out, clearly upset with the whole thing.

"Are you kidding?" Rick interrupted, "Did you even read the words on the bottle?" Rick asked as he pointed to the bottle of pills that was now in his trembling hands.

"Rick!" Michonne admonished, true fear sparkling in her eyes. She knew what her dad was capable of when he _wasn't_ angry. " _Please don't_."

"She _needs them_ ," Rick continued, ignoring Michonne's pleas, "Because she thinks about _killing herself_. Or didn't you know that?"

Michonne's dad was in Rick's face at this point, sizing him up although he had a good 2 inches on him height wise. Michonne's dad was a tall, intimidating man with a booming voice and a lot of pent up anger. But he didn't stand down.

"I knew you were trouble the first time I laid eyes on you," he spit out at Rick, "The only reason I let my daughter keep you as a friend was because I knew how much you meant to her, but you've taken it too far, boy." Michonne's mother didn't say a word the entire time, a habit she had learned to keep a long time ago.

Rick clenched his teeth angrily. He wasn't afraid-he was ready to fight if it came to it. There was pure defiance in his eyes. Threats didn't sit well with him.

"Well," Rick began as calmly as he could. Michonne's dad obviously didn't follow logic or true facts. "I'm telling you something your daughter needs in order to be okay."

"Boy," her dad blew out and chuckled as if something were funny. It only pissed Rick off more. "You have some audacity-coming into my house unannounced and uninvited-trying to tell me what my own daughter does and doesn't need."

"It isn't my fault you're willfully ignorant."

Just as those words were uttered out of Rick's mouth, a heavy handed slap resonated throughout the entire room, bouncing off the walls and silencing everybody. The moment was so painfully silent that you could hear a pin drop all the way across the world. Rick was stunned, but not unused to the physical pain of being hit. The tingling quickly flamed through his cheek where Michonne's dad had slapped him hard without warning.

Michonne was full on crying now, tears and everything. Her dad didn't care. Her mother remained silent as she disappeared upstairs.

"Dad!" Michonne cried out desperately, pushing past him to get to Rick. She gently cupped the bright red cheek that had been slapped. When she did, she felt just how quick Rick's heartbeat had become. He was having a panic attack, short breaths escaped his parted lips. "It's okay," she whispered to him even if it weren't true, "It's okay."

"What the hell is your problem?" she seethed to her dad as she stood protectively in front of Rick-unresponsive.

"Watch your mouth young lady." was all he said, seemingly down from his power high.

"Are you kidding me?" Michonne breathed out through plump, trembling lips, "You have no right to touch him!"

Somewhere deep down, Rick found his voice again. "She's depressed, you know. That's something you should care about."

Her dad only shook his head in disbelief that Rick was still talking, "She's fine. The Thompson's don't deal with that mentally ill bullshit. Any problem she may have probably came from you."

At that, Rick stepped forward, obviously upset, causing Michonne to halt him by placing her hands against his heaving chest. " _Please_."

That was enough to stop him in his tracks. Her voice was all he needed to hear to stop him from insanity. Tears fell down both of their faces now, their breathing labored. Rick was numb to the pain spreading across his face and knocking his teeth.

"Do you even hear yourself when you talk?" Rick managed to get out through his trembling lips, "You'd really let your daughter kill herself over some idiotic pride?"

It was Michonne's dad's turn to step forward, causing Michonne's heart to stop. Rick noticed it.

"I'll call the police if you don't leave right now!" he yelled, finding some sick satisfaction in the fact that he had scared two kids, one of them being his own.

"My dad _is_ the police, _sir_ ," Rick breathed out.

Before he could say another word, Michonne was pushing at his chest again, her eyes wide when he looked down at her.

"Rick, Rick. Come on," she whispered, "You have to go. Please."

"I'm not leaving without you," he said blankly, his eyes looking nowhere in particular, "I'm not leaving you here alone with these people."

The both of them jumped at the sound of smashing glass coming from the kitchen, turning their heads to see that Michonne's dad was no longer in the front hallway with them. There was no way he'd willing let her stay there after witnessing what they did.

"Michonne," Rick pleaded, his voice breaking all over the place, "Please come with me. You can't stay here right now, it isn't safe for you."

"Okay." That was it. They were out the door together in that instant. They made sure to take the pills with them. They didn't look back.

* * *

King County. Rick's parents' house. 10:28 PM

"Has he ever touched you like that before?" Rick asked as the two of them lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling together.

Rick's 4 year old sister was passed out, pressed into one of his sides in her pajamas, her mess of light brown curls going all over the place. Rick had told his parents that Michonne's were out of town and she had nowhere else to go. They just barely got away with it. But they trusted Michonne. They knew her. They hadn't gotten even a phone call from Michonne's parents yet.

When Michonne hesitated, he had the answer.

"Just twice." She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Once when I was 8 years old and I touched the oven. The other time, I was 14 and he thought I had sex with a boy at our school, I-" Michonne stopped talking when she noticed the blue bruise forming on Rick's face. A heartbreaking pause filled the space.

The ache in her voice devastated him beyond words. "You don't have to talk about it," he said to her, tracing invisible patterns down her bare, tank top clad shoulder and back up to her face, "Just know that it'll never happen again."

The subtle threat in his low voice was obvious. Rick had taken after his dad that way. He kept promises. He didn't break oaths.

"Rick," Michonne whispered, "I'm so sorry he did this to you. I didn't think he'd ever touch you. I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, Mute," he said to her sincerely, "You didn't chose to be born into a place like that."

"Jude is lucky to have a big brother like you," Michonne said, looking down at the tiny child that lay fast asleep against Rick, "Who will protect her no matter what. Jeffrey too."

"Somebody has to protect her from this world," Rick sighed, "She's too innocent for this place."

"You stood up for me today," Michonne began after she got Rick's attention back up to her eyes, "I didn't get to tell you thank you."

"It was my pleasure, sweetheart. You would've done it for me, too" Rick grinned until it became too painful. "Ow," he muttered under his breath.

"That big mouth of yours is going to get you killed one day, Richard Grimes."

He was about to laugh, but stopped when he noticed the very serious expression on her face. "We're only 18 years old, remember?"

"Yeah." Rick found immense comfort in the fact that Michonne had remembered what he said down to the exact words and meant the promise she had made him. "When did you know?"

He didn't have to say what for her to know what he meant: _When did you know you were depressed?_

"The difference between me and you was," she began, "You didn't know enough and I knew too much."

Pause. "I knew when I was in swim class, junior high," her eyes were distant as she spoke, as if she were going back to the past to tell him what happened. "When I watched all the kids swimming and laughing and all I could picture was how it would feel to drown in that swimming pool. How it would feel to let the water fill my lungs and kill me."

He couldn't believe the words she was saying, but he was glad she told him. He was glad and he was profusely heartbroken in the same instant.

"I'm sorry," he deadpanned.

She shook her head at once, "You didn't know. To tell you the truth, it was something I was just beginning to understand and I was too scared to tell people. I was just a kid. I was trying to come to terms with something that I didn't understand yet because _they_ wouldn't let me understand."

She decided to answer his next unspoken question too, "I didn't want to take those pills because I was scared of what would happen. When you've been sad for so long, the possibility of happiness is terrifyingly unfamiliar. I didn't know what I would do with it-where I would put it."

Rick listened to her speak as if it were the last thing he would hear in the world. He began questioning whether he truly wanted to know or not, but he did.

* * *

"At the pharmacy.. the pills.. They told me it would destroy your personality. They told me you wouldn't be you anymore," Rick whispered sadly, 'Who knows if it's true."

"The point is," Rick said just above a whisper, "You don't have to take them if you don't want to. I can never be sorry enough for making it sound like you didn't have a choice. You do. The choice is yours and only you can make it for yourself."

Michonne took in the words he spoke to her. "I would've been alone if it weren't for you." Rick thought he had never heard anything truer or more agonizing than that. "Daryl. Glenn. Your brother and sister.. When I met all of you, I felt like I finally had the family I deserved."

As if on cue, Rick and Michonne's phones buzzed at the same instant, causing them both to jump slightly. The day had been traumatizing to say the least.

"That's probably the boys," Rick said, "I haven't said a word to them since I left them at the ice cream place." He groaned, running a hand down his tired face.

Michonne was the one to check the text message. "They're worried."

"They should be," Rick replied, "You think we should call them?"

"Yeah," she said, "They've been waiting a while. They deserve answers."

"We've been waiting for a long time. we deserve some answers." Daryl said impatiently into the phone on the other line, proving Michonne's point perfectly. Glenn was with him.

"I'm sorry you guys," Michonne said into the phone as Rick watched intently, "Rick's with me. We're both okay."

"What happened?" It was Glenn who asked this time.

While Michonne had just spilled it out to Rick, she wasn't ready to tell her two other best friends just yet. Definitely not over the phone.

"Nothing," she said as Rick sighed with relief. They had been drained enough for the day.

"You sure everything's okay?" Daryl asked cautiously, easily picking up on the pretensive nature of his friend's voice. After years it was a simple thing to do.

"Yeah, yeah," Rick added from where he lay against one of the pillows, leaning towards the phone. "It's all good, Daryl. Don't worry."

The two of them heard Daryl and Glenn talking it over in whispered voices, most likely decided amongst themselves whether Rick and Michonne were telling the truth.

"Well," Glenn spoke up, "If you're sure.. See you two tomorrow? Usual spot?"

They shared a knowing look before responding in unison, "Yup."

* * *

"I'll be right back," Rick whispered as he stood from the bed, adjusting the limp child he was holding, "I'm just gonna put her to bed."

"Okay," Michonne yawned out, settling deep under the sheets in the bed she had been in many times. The pills sat out in the open, next to the mirror Rick had just been looking into that morning.

Before he left the room, he turned around and said, "I may not be able to prevent it, but I'll damn well try to."

With that, he was gone from view.

* * *

King County. Rick's parents' house. 12:08 AM

"Sweet dreams, Judy," Rick whispered, kissing his little sister on the forehead softly after laying her down to bed. It was a sweet sight, watching her sleep without a care in the world. He wished it would stay that way forever for her.

Leaving her room, he was shocked to see his dad standing in the hallway with his arms folded, still in his uniform. He barely made out his profile.

"Dad?"

Stephen Grimes was an intelligent man. "Mute's parents aren't out of town, are they." It was more of a statement than a question.

"You got me there," Rick whispered, putting his head down in shame. His dad's response surprised him, especially given his tough nature.

"I know there must be an important reason you were untruthful with us," his dad said earnestly in reference to Rick's mother and himself. "You're not in trouble, Rick. Calm down."

Rick let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding in.

"I want you to know that if something's wrong, with either of you," his dad said with purpose, "You can talk to us about it. We'll protect both of you."

"Thank you," Rick instantly spit out, "It means a lot to us."

After that, his dad made his way back downstairs where he was probably watching t.v. or having an after work drink, leaving Rick with his mouth open in the dead center of the dim hallway.

His dad might not have known what was going on, and for the time being, he would let Michonne decided whether or not he would ever know. He would let her deal with it when the time came.

* * *

When he walked back to his room, Michonne was once again staring at the ceiling, looking pensive as she ever was too.

"What're you thinkin' about?"

His voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Daryl and Glenn know we were pretending."

"I know. They'll understand why."

"This time, maybe.. It could've been so much worse for us back there. You know it, too."

"Yeah," was all he could bring himself to say back. He knew just how much worse the altercation with Michonne's dad could've been.

"Your dad out there?"

"He was.. we talked a bit. It's okay."

It was so silent you could hear a pin drop way across the universe. It was a painful type of silence. It was a sure sign that the universe was asleep while they were wide awake, afraid to let go of consciousness tonight.

Rick joined her under the sheets, carefully wrapping his one of his thin arms around her shoulders until their heads touched.

"This is it. This is the future," Rick whispered, obviously unimpressed with it.

"I don't like the future." Was all she said back. As it turned out, ignorance wasn't bliss.

Before they drifted off into their individual thoughts, Rick placed an almost unnoticeable kiss to the side of Michonne's lips. She thought it was the softest thing she'd felt in weeks.

There was no talking between the two of them for the rest of the night. The stars twinkled either way. They didn't talk about where she would go after tonight. They didn't know yet.

* * *

 _People think kids don't understand. But they're wrong._

" _I don't want to hear the noises on t.v. I don't want the salesman coming after me. I don't want to live in my father's house no more. . I don't want to show you what they done to me. . I don't want to choose black or blue. . I don't want to see what they done to you. ." windowsill, arcade fire._


	3. Chapter 3: They Don't Trust Us

Oh yeah, it's about to be intense, people. Please stay tuned with it.

* * *

Chapter 3: They Don't Trust Us

 _Past_

" _Push it in!" Daryl yelled to Rick who was currently in an uncomfortable position, holding a baby alligator back just by the water._

 _Even though it was just a tiny alligator, under Daryl's tough exterior, he was worried about Rick being hurt by it._

" _Just a couple more seconds," Rick said back. He wasn't one to back out of a dare. Though as he promised, just a short time later the tiny creature was free again and speedily making it's way back into the water._

 _Rick stood and turned to face Daryl, a huge grin spreading across his face as he wiped lake water on his basketball shorts. "See? Piece of cake."_

" _I didn't actually want you to do it, dumbass," Daryl said back, instantly turning towards the woods that would lead back to the small neighborhoods they occupied. Rick shot him a confused glance, his head tilted._

" _It's almost 10:45," Daryl smirked, blowing smoke out and pushing the bud of his used cigarette into a nearby tree._

" _Shit!" Rick yelled as he started running instead of walking, quickly followed by Daryl as they sped through the dark woods together._

* * *

" _Richard!" his mother yelled out to him as he jogged to the front door, "I thought I told you to be back before 10 o'clock?"_

 _He knew it couldn't have been good if his mother was using his full first name. "Yeah, mom," he said breathlessly, "I just lost track of the time. I'm sorry."_

" _Were you with that boy?" his mother asked skeptically, obviously referring to Daryl, "He isn't a good influence on you."_

" _He's my friend," Rick defended, "He's had a troubled life, it isn't his fault." He was still breathless from the time it took to run from the lake back to his house, his hair wet and his white t-shirt clinging to his ribcage._

" _I know he smokes, I can smell it on him every time he comes around," she muttered, pulling her jacket tighter around herself as a breeze went by, "And I know his father isn't the only one who drinks, either."_

" _You don't know anything about him," Rick snapped out of nowhere. He wouldn't let either of his parents speak badly about any of his friends._

" _Watch your tone," she instantly shot back._

" _If you got to know him, you might even like him too. You could at least pretend you trust me."_

 _Rick didn't mention that he was the reason they were held up, although it probably would have helped to ease the tension. Or it could have made her think he wasn't telling the truth._

 _The two of them were now standing facing each other on the porch, Rick standing down a couple steps as he had quickly passed his mother's height in 8th grade._

" _I trust you, Rick," his mother said to him with cool, quietly feigned calmness, "It's him I don't trust."_

* * *

Present

" _You're not a boy anymore, Rick," his dad's words sunk back into his thoughts, "You're a man now. You protect the people who are important to you, I've seen it.. I'm proud of you."_

Rick wasn't sure when he drifted off, but before he knew it, he was passed out. The world of his dreams was a place he didn't wish to see often.

The morning light was blinding, but weirdly, it was comforting too. It was safe. It felt odd waking up without the shouting of a little kid or the arguments of his parents with Jeffrey.

Suddenly, Rick shot up in panic at the realization that Michonne was no longer with him, shuffling through the sheets of his bed as if she could have possibly made herself tiny enough to not be seen. It was quiet. Too quiet.

Rick jumped out of bed, pulling a t-shirt on from the floor before making his way into the hallway and downstairs where everybody probably was. It wasn't his intention to leave Michonne alone with his parents, knowing how torturous it must've been.

When he arrived to the kitchen with a nervous walk, what he saw wasn't as scary as he had been expecting. His parents along with Jeff, Judith and Michonne sat around the table eating breakfast, Judith was showing Michonne something from one of her kid books. Michonne was the first one to notice Rick's presence, looking up and frowning at the sight of the now incredibly noticeable bruise on his left cheekbone.

"Mute!" the very impatient Judith yelled to Michonne, grabbing onto her shirt to get the attention back to what she was doing. "Did you see this one?"

Everybody seemed to notice Rick standing in the doorway now, rubbing at his tired eyes. His dad eyed him over the newspaper he was reading and his mother did the same over her coffee. That was when the situation exploded.

"Rick!" his mother shouted faintly through her tired voice, sitting her cup of coffee down on the table with a bit too much force, "What happened to your face?"

It was like one of those movies you watch where everything starts to make sense in an instant. In that moment, Rick could feel the aching pulse of his still-healing cheek. He didn't know what to say. Michonne's eyes were wide with panic. The whole room seemed to pause waiting for his answer. Jeff was eyeing him carefully, he was always the first one to know when his younger brother wasn't telling the truth. He could never look up when he wasn't.

"Uh.."

"This is serious, Rick," his father interrupted, standing up and instantly reverting to police officer mode, "We need to know what happened to you."

"My dad did it," Michonne whispered. Everybody heard her. Even Judith sat quietly now, not knowing exactly what the tension was about but feeling it nonetheless. Jeff looked pissed off.

"Is that why you're here?" Jeff asked her, concern written all over his voice.

"Yeah," she replied sadly, "I guess it is."

Rick's dad was already reaching for the phone and his gun belt over on the counter, making quick work out of his decision.

"Dad," Rick instigated, "What will you do?"

"He can't get away with what he did to you and probably to Mute too," his dad said seriously, already dialing the police station, "We have to arrest him." With that, his dad was out of the room before anyone could say anything else. They heard the door slam and shortly after a car turning on and zooming out into the street.

Michonne said nothing. She was conflicted. On one hand, she was glad her dad wouldn't be out in the open and hurting people anymore. On the other hand, she blamed herself for what took place the previous day. It was all happening too quickly. The tears just kept falling from her eyes with no intention to let up.

"It's okay," Judith said in her innocent young voice, worried about Michonne, "The scary monsters don't come out during the day. That's what Jeffrey told me." When Michonne looked up at Jeff, he just gave her a shrug and a small smile, not knowing what else to do.

Lorna Grimes was a kind woman, even if she could be stern with her kids sometimes. It was probably why Rick turned out so great.

"You're 18 years old, Michonne," the woman said gently and straightforwardly as she sat beside the girl who was now internally panicking. "So you don't have to go back there. Not ever."

She just nodded, a heartbreaking laugh escaping her through her lips which were involuntarily quivering.

Rick's mom, being a pyschologist, knew this was a side effect of trauma and thought nothing of it. "You're welcome to stay here as long as you want to. We will never turn you away."

Michonne couldn't get the sound of shattering glass out of her brain, but she listened to what Rick's mom had to say either way. She knew what she was saying was important and she needed to hear it too.

"Being in touch with your emotions isn't a bad thing, sweetie," his mother whispered to her, "It's okay to let it all out."

"Thank you so much," Michonne said and surprised the woman by throwing her arms around her in a tight hug. Rick found himself pleased with the sight and saw that his siblings did too. At least physically, she was going to be okay for a while. The pills were pushed aside, way back into their thoughts for the time being. There were more important things to worry about. Michonne knew now why Rick wanted to protect her so badly, she would do it for him in a heartbeat. So she would let him protect her for as much time as they had together.

Afterwards, Judith begged Michonne to watch tv with her and she found it hard to deny that precious face and tinkling voice, so she said yes. Lorna ushered Rick up to the bathroom to put ointment and an icepack on his swollen face, telling him over and over again that he did the right thing getting Michonne out of that house with her parents. He was proud of himself for the first time in a while.

* * *

"What's going to happen to my dad?" Michonne asked as they walked down the sidewalk together. Rick couldn't help but to feel uneasy at the fact that she was actually worried about him. He hated that man with every fiber of his being.

"They'll put him a jail cell for a while," he shrugged with indifference, "And then after some time's passed, they'll decide whether or not he'll be put in prison.. You'll probably have to be apart of that. To testify."

"Oh." Zooming cars and upcoming traffic were all they heard as they waited for light to change so they could cross the white lines.

"I mean," Rick muttered, "That's how it usually goes, according to my dad. The victim decides."

"That's you too, Rick."

He didn't know what to say to that other that that it was true. But it wasn't about him.

"..Rick?" She sounded nervous, which made him feel nervous too.

"Yeah?"

"What if I don't want him to go prison?"

They stopped walking. Rick was pissed, but not at her. It was never directed at her.

"Why would you say that?" he asked, his eyebrows drawn together tightly.

"I don't know," she diminished quickly, "It was just a theoretical question. That's it."

"..Okay," Rick said, although he had a strong feeling it wasn't theoretical at all. It was obviously something neither of them felt particularly comfortable talking about.

But then he thought about it, no matter how shitty those people she called her parents were, they were still her parents. He understood why she felt a duty to them even if they were terrible people. Tragically, like so many other people, she had learned to love abuse. It was clear as day and written in her panicked voice too.

* * *

Going to the water tower proved to be too dangerous as there were out of towners looming all over the place. The outbreak was becoming more and more prominent by the day. Even though they took risks all the time, they knew this one was too big a risk considering all that had just happened. A gang that called themselves the wolves had recently targeted King County. Rick's dad had told him weeks ago. At this point in time, they weren't too worried about it because they had never actually seen them in person.

They decided to meet up at the Pizza Planet instead, the place Glenn had just been hired to work mere hours ago. It would be his first real, authentic job-not including the paper route he had when he was 14. Rick and Michonne got the text shortly after it happened. And so, they were all headed there to celebrate. It was supposed to be a fun time for them, but tension filled the air.

As soon as Rick and Michonne were through the glass doors and hit by the underwhelming air conditioning, everybody's heads turned to look at them. _They know._

It was the place to be today. What seemed like half the town's population were there. Rick was alright until he noticed Shane Walsh and Lori Peters in a booth not far from them. He went out with Lori for a while until she cheated on him with Shane. Twice. Rick hadn't seen her in weeks. It was painful to think about even if he despised her now. He got fucked over and there wasn't much he could do about it at the time. So he got fucked up and tried to numb his mind any way he possibly could.

Shane looked him right in the eyes and smirked, putting his arms tightly around Lori. Rick's fists balled up tightly and he bit his lip until he tasted blood. He wasn't there to instigate a fight with Shane Walsh. Not this time. Not today.

"Don't give him a reason to," Michonne murmured under breath as she noticed the direction he was looking, "He isn't worth it and you're better than that."

"I won't," he assured her, though his body was still tight all over the place. It was driving him insane.

He told himself he was over it as he and Michonne made their way over to where Daryl and Glenn were sitting. Michonne physically felt the increasing tension. There was an obvious elephant in the room. People continued to stare the entire way. The two of them pretended not to notice it. People they graduated with and others alike were nosy as hell. They wouldn't let it get to them. The whispers prevailed. It took everything not to listen to what they were saying.

"It's about time you two got here, it's almost 2 already," Daryl grumbled from his seat where he was slouched with a cigarette between his fingers and a toothpick in his mouth. Glenn sat across from him, contrastingly in a happy mood ever since he got the job he wanted.

"We got held up," Rick said apologetically before he and Michonne scooted into the booth. A flat pitcher of sprite sat on the table between them, untouched.

"Yeah, we know," Daryl said, instantly getting their attention. Daryl was too intelligent for his own good sometimes. "We saw the police cars in front of Mute's house on the way here. We saw her old man bein' arrested.. why didn't you tell us?" There was a tinge of hurt mixed in with understanding in Daryl's voice. Glenn communicated those same words with his eyes alone. They didn't have to ask what happened to Rick's face, they already knew that part.

"It was embarrassing," Michonne whispered in defense, "I didn't want people to know."

Daryl just nodded, taking in the words she spoke with a pensive look on his face. He now understand why he and Glenn were left alone at the ice cream place, waiting for two people who weren't coming. He wouldn't push her more. He knew exactly what it was like to have a shitty father for a parent.

"Well," Glenn interrupted, breaking up the tension, "I'm starving. Let's order the pizza already."

"Pepperoni and olives," Rick piped up.

"Yeah, yeah," Glenn murmured, "I'll just have to pick them off of mine."

"Hey, I was kidding" Rick said in a form of apology for wanting to order the pizza he knew Glenn didn't prefer, "We'll get two. On me. Congratulations on the job, buddy. I'm proud of you." He pulled out his debit card and slapped it down on the table.

"Yeah," Michonne added, "You did good today, kid."

"Thanks," Glenn grinned from ear to ear. He was already wearing a new cap that read 'Pizza Planet' in large, white letters.

"That's right, you heard it here first people," Daryl interrupted with fake enthusiasm, "Our boy will be taking a temporary break from his video games and thoughts about older women to work twice a week!"

Michonne reached out to punch Daryl just hard enough to shut him up for 2 seconds. "I'm proud of you, Glenn. It's better than working in a greasy bike shop all the time," she breathed out, side eyeing Daryl who in turn rolled his eyes and huffed out.

They talked for a while, trying their best to ignore the people who were staring at all four of them for very different individual reasons. Time was a luxury these days.

* * *

Not 20 minutes later, Rick had his head down against the cool, metal table. Passed out. While Michonne was used to restless nights and barely any sleep, he wasn't. Michonne couldn't help but to lay a hand on top of his damp curls, desperately hoping and wishing his dreams weren't disturbing him too much.

"Jesus," Daryl said, taking in the scene before him , "You two doin' it again?"

"Makes sense," Glenn mumbled under his breath before putting more ice cubes down his shirt.

"No, we're not _doing it_ ," Michonne glowered at the both of them, "And if we were, it wouldn't be any of your business."

"Well," Daryl scoffed, not at all output by her, "Whatever you two were doin', it definitely wore 'im out." A proud smirk followed. Michonne wouldn't take the obvious bait this time.

While they egged each other on, Glenn watched as Tara Chambler and Maggie Greene walked by their table, talking under their breath in a way that indicated they wanted him to follow and talk to them too. He didn't think twice before he did. Tara liked other girls, but Glenn was nearly certain Maggie didn't.

"Don't be a dick, Daryl," Michonne replied after Glenn had gone off to talk to the two older girls, "We had a pretty tough day yesterday."

He nodded in apology before saying, "He'll be okay, he bounces back quick.. you okay?"

She knew it was coming, and now that Rick was no longer awake, Daryl had the perfect opportunity to ask. She appreciated the inquiry from the boy who was like a brother to her. They teased each other a lot, but at the end of the day, they meant the world to each other.

"I will be," she said earnestly, "It'll just take some time."

"If you need anything at all, I'm always here for you," he said, dropping the easy-going tone.

"I know," she said, "Thank you." She thought before including, "What about you? Is everything okay?" She was one of the few people in Daryl's life who knew about what his dad did to him occasionally.

"Oh yeah," Daryl said quickly, "It's good. I can handle it.. not that you couldn't or anything like that.. you know what I mean."

"Yeah.. I'm glad we got that out in the open, then," Michonne said in a way that wouldn't be uncomfortable for either of them.

"This whole thing is weird," Daryl frowned. Michonne listened intently. Daryl wasn't one to open up much. "The way things've been, you know?"

"Yeah," she sighed out, "Tell me about it. College will be even weirder," she laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

Daryl was silent after that, putting his head down and picking at his fingers with purpose. This sparked interest.

"What? You don't want to go?"

"I don't know," Daryl shrugged, "I was thinkin' 'bout just workin' in the shop for a while. I make decent enough cash at that place."

Before they could continue their talk, Daryl's phone went off and he stood quickly, power walking outside to take the call. This wasn't going to be easy.

He stormed back in a little while later, taking Michonne by surprise. "I gotta go," he said out of breath, "I forgot I'm supposed to work today." He threw a couple bucks down onto the table from his pocket and was out.

"Okay," Michonne nodded, knowing the bike shop where Daryl worked wasn't even open today. She just watched him walk out the door, wondering what was so important and urgent enough to cover up with the typical _I have to work_. It was only another thing to add to her never-ending list of worries.

Rick was still passed out, his mouth hanging open and a bit of drool coming out. It was okay though, because nobody saw him but her from where they were situated. She looked over to the soda counter where Glenn was talking it up with Maggie Greene, making her laugh and everything. Tara was sitting on the other side of them looking unimpressed with him taking up her time with Maggie.

Michonne sighed. It was going to be a long afternoon.

* * *

Unknown to the majority of the population in King County, the wolves were growing in numbers quickly. They were recruiting young boys aged 14 to 20. Teenagers became targets. You joined or you died.

Rick's dad was the chief of police, so he had the job of trying to put a stop to gang influences. It was proving to be more difficult than he thought as there were now nearly 200 members.

Michonne's dad was thrown into jail drunk and yelling out illegible profanities. Her mom was brought into the station for questioning. Rick's dad was pissed. Michonne had been like the daughter he never had up until Judith was born. No one was going to touch one of his kids without facing punishment, no matter who they were.

The problem now was to get Michonne to testify against her dad, something she wanted deep down but was scared to do. Because she was so young, she wouldn't be pushed. She would have to make the decision on her own. It was time to be an adult. It was time to see the world for what it truly was.

* * *

 _You were so impressionable back then. I was scared for you._

" _You told me something that I didn't know that I wanted to hear.. There was nothing that I could do to save you, the choirs gonna sing, this thing is gonna kill you.._

 _I would try to grab your ankles, what a pitiful sight, but after over a year I stopped trying to stop you, from stomping out that door and coming back like you always do.." two, the antlers_


	4. Chapter 4: Please, Don't Let Me Fall

Yet another emotional chapter ? I'm sorry. This one was incredibly difficult to write. You'll see why.

* * *

Chapter 4: Please, Don't Let Me Fall.

 _Past_

 _Daryl was 4 years old the first time his father told him he wasn't good enough. He was 6 years old the first time his father decided to prove it to him. The physical abuse was second in the amount of damage left, it was the vocal and emotional abuse that truly hurt. That truly left the deepest scars._

 _There was a time in Daryl's life when he had become immune to the pain, numb to it. His best friends knew there was something pretty bad going on at his house, but they didn't know just how bad it truly was. If he was being honest with himself, he didn't want to believe it. It only got worse after Daryl's mother died in a house fire, still in bed and still drugged out of her mind. Before she died, she was the only one who would protect him. He mourned silently for weeks, afraid that his visible pain would only cause his father to irrationally lash out at him more. He had never felt more alone than that time when he was 8 years old._

 _There were times when Daryl would miss days, even weeks of school at a time. The pain would be so increasingly bad sometimes that he couldn't move. He'd just wait until his dad was done whipping him and he'd try his hardest not to cry afterwards. His older brother had told him time and time again that crying was for pussies._

' _Boys don't cry, you pussy,' he heard his brother's words echoing painfully in his skull. Secretly, it was his way of trying to protect him from their father's wrath._

 _If his old man saw any tears or even a quivering bottom lip, the beatings would be worse. So much worse than he would've thought._

 _So he learned to be quiet and not to think about the pain that spread through his flesh every time his father decided that he needed to be taught a lesson. He went to his happy place when that happened, or he tried to. He thought about his best friends who were like family to him. If it hadn't been for them, he would've never known how good people could really be or how much they could really love you, despite what you may have done in the past._

* * *

Present

King County to Atlanta. 4:00 PM:

Daryl felt terrible having lied to Michonne, but he didn't want her to know why he really had to leave the pizza place. He couldn't stop seeing her obviously knowing, overly sympathetic eyes in his brain over and over. He was glad he only had to deal with the knowing, intelligent gaze of one of his friends and not all three of them at the same time. His brother was in prison and he needed to be bailed out _again_ , for the second time this year _._

Daryl drove his bike all the way to Atlanta with a wad of cash stuffed into his jacket. In King County, there was a jail but no prison, so Atlanta was the next best thing. The wind blew through Daryl's ever-growing hair as he tore through the highway just under the speed limit. He didn't want to go where he was going, a place he had unfortunately been many times before.

When he arrived at the familiar gates, a wave of nausea came over him. He found himself puking into one of the bushes out back to clear both his mind and his stomach. He hadn't seen Merle in weeks, and if he was being honest, that was the way he liked it.

It took all of two minutes to get through security and into the prison. "I'm here to bail out Merle Dixon?" Daryl said, his nerves on edge and making it sound like more of a question than a statement.

"What will your form of payment be?" asked a man in a deep voice behind the glass without once looking up, typing away on a computer.

"Cash," Daryl deadpanned, throwing the wad down on the cold, white desk. He hated the prison and being anywhere near it.

"Impressive," the man said in a slightly higher octave, "And how old are you?"

"I'm 18, sir." This was one of the first times it was true.

He nodded slowly in response before hitting a final key on the computer. "I think you should know what happened before you do this, kid," the man cautioned sincerely.

"What?" Daryl's head was pounding, sweat that wasn't from the heat forming over every one of his pulses.

"What your brother did-he is your brother right?" he continued when Daryl nodded subtly, biting his lip. "I was there, kid, it wasn't good, believe me."

"Well, what was it?" Daryl asked impatiently, not wanting to spend more time in this terrible place than he had to.

"He got drunk out of his mind, he assaulted two young girls, and tried to rob a corner store at gunpoint. He was yelling the entire time, some of the things he said I'd rather not repeat."

Daryl looked stunned, but he wasn't truly surprised. His brother wasn't exactly a good person, but he was still his brother. That was why he came, he wanted to make things right between them. He'd at least try.

Daryl found himself overcome with emotion, clearing his throat in an attempt to rid himself of the public humiliation, "Well, can I see 'im at least? To talk to 'im?"

Daryl had already made his decision. He wouldn't be bailing out his immature brother today. Deep down, he knew his brother deserved to be there, with other people who were far from innocent.

"Yeah," the man said sadly, "Just come this way. The meeting area is down the hall, the second door to the left."

Daryl found his hands shaking profusely. How would he tell his brother he wasn't there to get him out this time? _Don't be a pussy,_ Daryl thought to himself as he kept walking. He swore his heart stopped in time during the trip though the too-white hallway.

Before he knew it, the door was open and there was his brother at the furthest table in the room, looking terrible and definitely on some type of intoxicating drug. He could practically smell it from where he stood and it only got worse as he walked up to the table.

"Well, I'll be damned," drawled Merle, "Is that really my baby brother? Haven't seen you in a little while."

"I just want to talk," Daryl said lowly.

"What was that?" Merle said a little too loudly, causing other people in the visitation room to peek their way.

"Keep your voice down! I said," Daryl repeated, a bit irritated now, "I just want to talk with you."

"Well," Merle blew out warily, "You shoulda said so in the first place, Darlina."

Daryl tried his best to ignore the last part of what was said, knowing he was just trying to piss him off further.

"The point is," Daryl began, finding bravery deep down in his lungs as he pulled out one of the metal chairs to sit down and look his brother right in the face, "I ain't bailing you out this time. You deserved to be put in here."

Daryl could tell that his brother wanted to jump across the table and strangle him, but fortunately for him, his hands were cuffed down to the metal table. "After everything I done for you?! After I protected you-looked out for your well bein'?!" he yelled out loudly.

"Keep your voice down," Daryl hissed out uncomfortably a second time. "This is for your own good. I'm doin' this for you."

With that, Daryl couldn't take his brother's hateful glare any longer and he stood, pulling his pants back into place as he did too.

"Come on, little brother," Merle begged pathetically, knowing Daryl was his only chance to get out, "Don't be like that. I was just playin' around."

"Playin' around?" Daryl breathed out cooly, "Sprewin' your ignorant bullshit around town and touching two girls against their wills is just _playin' around_? Nah, man. I'm done. I wish I had never gotten you out at all," he finished with obvious disdain.

Merle looked at him with disbelief, Daryl had never been able to stand up to him the way he just did. Even though the fact that his brother was restrained had a lot to do with it, he was still proud of himself for saying those important words.

"So you're just gonna walk away, then? You're just gonna leave me here alone?" Merle asked, obviously trying to make Daryl feel guilty for something that wasn't his fault in the least. "Fine. Just get the fuck outta here then. Go home or wherever it is you fuckin' go to out there."

Contradicting Daryl's thoughts about not caring one way or the other, he felt a lump forming in his throat and tears filling up his blue-grey eyes.

"You know," Daryl let out shakily, his voice trembling as he turned to face his brother for one last time in what he knew would be a while, "I may be the one walking away, but you're the one that's leaving. Again." With that, he turned away before his brother could see the tears waterfalling down his tired face. Those tears held everything from disappointment to plain sadness. Things were supposed to better between the two of them.

Daryl kept walking even when he heard his brother yelling again and slamming the table, causing the guards to come rushing into the room to get him under control. Though he left the prison doors with his brother's heartbroken voice echoing in his thoughts, he felt like he could breathe properly for the first time in years.

* * *

King County. 8:45 PM:

For a while, Daryl just rode around town. Trying to stop the flow of tears he had been taught were sinful and unbecoming. It took a while, but he finally came down from his emotional high enough to drive home, pulling his keys out as he pulled up to the tiny house just near the woods.

When Daryl arrived inside, he was stunned to see Will Dixon standing right there in the front room. The bastard had the nerve to look smug and spiteful at the same time. Daryl said nothing as the two sized each other up, Daryl doing his best to hide his nerves. He refused to look down this time. He wouldn't be afraid today.

His father had been off on a bender with some waitress for the eighth time this summer alone. He was back and he was already drunk. _Unbelievable._

"Where you been at, boy?" the old man gurgled pathetically.

"Just out to gas up my bike and run some errands," Daryl lied smoothly. A skill he unwillingly acquired years ago which worked on nearly everybody, his dad included.

"You sure you weren't with the policeman's boy and those two lower class degenerates-"

"You would think that," Daryl mumbled under his breath angrily. Glenn and Michonne didn't deserve for some piece of shit, ignorant racist to speak badly about them. A person who didn't even know them and never would.

"What was that?" his father asked, unbuckling the first part of his belt and stepping up to be closer to Daryl. He held his ground. But he could practically feel the scars all over his back pulsing at the same time. The place where the silver belt buckle occasionally struck him time and time again.

"Nothin'. I'm just tellin' you not to speak that way about my friends-about Glenn and Michonne," he said, not phased by his father's pathetic threats at this point. The man was clearly ill and far too weak to hurt him today.

"It ain't good for yer brain," his father said ignorantly, "Hangin' out with a black bitch and a stuck up, _intelligent_ japanese kid."

"They're better to me than you ever were you white trash, piece of shit," Daryl yelled out back, no longer holding back as his father blatantly insulted his friends. Tears burned at the corners of his eyes, but this time, they weren't sad ones, they were pissed off ones.

"You better hope you didn't just say what I think you did, boy," Will Dixon drawled out, his threats idle. Unimportant.

"I did," Daryl said instantly, his heart pounding wildly, "I ain't scared a' you anymore like I was when I was a kid, old man. You can't touch me."

His father looked disgusted with him, knowing he wasn't up to physically hurt him today. So he would use words this time.

"You should be more like your brother," he bit out.

"Why? So I can end up in prison too? So I can lose any opportunity that might come my way?" Daryl was the one to step forward this time, face to face with the man who had haunted his dreams and his waking life all of his childhood.

"You're good for nothin', you know that? Who would ever give _you_ an _opportunity_?"

Daryl just laughed out, knowing that was all his father had to use, something that was outdated and untrue. _Pathetic._

In this moment he was afraid, but not of his father. The world outside was his home now, it was where he belonged. Just knowing that each of his friends were probably waiting up for him was all he needed to know about his worth. Nobody would take that from him. Never again. The phone in his pocket felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. It felt good. The phone buzzed twice and his lips twitched up, him still looking his dad right in the cold, hard eyes. Taking his life back was scary, but he had to do it. He had been under this roof for far too long.

This time, he wasn't so sure if he would ever see that house again after today. His smile was so big it hurt, sparkling white teeth and all. He left his dad standing there dumbstruck, with his mouth wide open while he walked out the door without a word. He just kept walking.

* * *

 _Past_

" _Ma?!" Daryl yelled out, throwing down his bike un-carefully in the nearly empty street as he saw the house lit to flames on the upstairs level. He ignored the people standing in the lawn with water hoses. "Where's my ma?!" he cried out panicked as he ran straight for the house, his vision already blurred up._

 _A tall firefighter grabbed him just as he was reaching the door and held him tightly as he sobbed frantically, his knees scraped up and his throat dry. He already knew what happened before the man told him._

" _Son, I'm sorry," the man said, kneeling down to his height, "Your mother died today." She was probably smoking before it went down and that was why it happened. King County was a place where a lot of things happened and people outside it didn't hear about it._

" _W-what?" Daryl hiccuped in disbelief, "No, no, you're lyin'!" he yelled out, snot and tears all over his young face. "How can she be dead just like that?!"_

" _I'm so sorry," the man repeated, not knowing how to comfort the panicking kid who was now kicking him all over the place in an attempt to get to the house. They were weak, overly frantic attempts. Traumatic situations were an ingrained part of Daryl's life now._

" _Ma!" he cried out a second time, his voice barely understandable, as if she would appear at the window upstairs and everything would be okay. The group of firefighters watched sadly as the kid tried desperately to reach the dead woman from where they were outside. There was nothing they could do. "Tell me you're not dead, ma, please!"_

 _The man holding him carried him all the way to the truck as the others hosed down the house with water. He fought the entire way as the kind man set him down on the side of the truck. News cameras with their white vans had already pulled up. Who knew where his 14 year old brother was or his pathetic excuse for a father. Today wasn't a win. It was a tragedy._

" _Kid," the man said gently but sternly, causing Daryl to flinch involuntarily as he rested his big hands on his tiny shoulders, "I'm going to let you go, okay? But you have to promise me you won't go anywhere near that house, you understand?"_

 _Daryl just nodded at the man through heartbreaking, stinging tears that seemed to be incessantly unending. He couldn't help but to think about what, at 8 years old, he had done to deserve this traumatic occurrence. What he could have possibly done wrong for this to happen. It was too much to deal with on his own._

 _He was already coming up with reasons for why it was his fault, kicking himself internally for being at the park most of the day and not here where he was obviously needed. He said fuck you to his dad and brother for not being there. He said fuck you to the world for not protecting his innocent mother. Why couldn't one of them have died instead? He felt terrible just for thinking the thought._

 _He wanted to show the kind man what his dad did to him. He wanted to show him every individual scar that would never go away because he felt like he could trust this person. But he couldn't speak. His throat hurt. Domestic abuse was something he didn't quite understand yet, or the ptsd he had developed over time. He had been taught to think he deserved it for the things he did. So he just nodded, keeping his promise as the man let him go and he ran straight the other direction, as fast as his legs would let him. He went straight into the woods and then back out, turning quickly._

* * *

 _Daryl didn't stop running until he got to Rick's house, the one place his mind which was racing in a thousand different directions would think to take him. The sun was already down by the time he got there, the stars' unforgiving twinkle lighting up the sky instead. The oxygen around him was suffocating and he found it difficult to breathe. He suddenly felt like the smallest thing in the universe._

" _Daryl?" Rick's dad asked, who was just pulling up at the house in his police cruiser. A worried look quickly fell upon his face as he took in the kid's demeanor. He was dirty and tired beyond logic by the time he got to the house, nearly tripping over himself in the driveway._

 _Daryl couldn't say anything besides one word through swollen, bloody lips. "R-Rick."_

 _It was on the news displayed on the tiny t.v. as soon as they were inside. Rick's dad instantly knew why Daryl was so upset. Ultimately and inevitably, the pain was visceral. It was too unignorable._

" _He's upstairs," Rick's mother said as she descended the steps. She knew too. Any tranquility in the Grimes' household was dissipated into thin air. The intensity was overwhelming._

 _And even though she had never particularly liked her son spending time with the troubled, problematic Daryl Dixon with the infamous big brother, she was heartbroken by the look in the kids tear-filled eyes. Eyes that were wise beyond his young years. Too wise. He had seen things no kid should ever have to see._

" _You can walk up, sweetie," she said to Daryl softly before leaning down to kiss the top of his head, her own heart breaking. For the time being, she would push her skepticism of the kid aside to see the innocent, scared child who was trembling just inches in front of her._

 _Rick's dad watched him the entire way, wondering why god felt the need to punish this kid who had done nothing truly wrong his whole life. Daryl just nodded thankfully as he tried and failed to swallow back more painful sobs._

" _I didn't want anybody to die," he whispered on his way up._

 _One of them said, "I know you didn't." He didn't pay attention to know which one._

 _He stayed up with his best friend the entire night up there, more thankful than ever to have to him in his life. He didn't know what he did to deserve a kid as good as Rick was. He didn't tell Rick his mom died until the next morning, he didn't want the pity. The tears didn't stop, but somehow, Rick got him to smile and even laugh a bit under the sheet fort they built together._

 _Daryl was usually defensive with every person, but he didn't have to be with Rick. They made a pact that night to never push each other away. Under that fort were unbreakable promises and protection._

 _Right now, Rick was his brother in every way that counted and the one person who truly gave a damn about his well being, even at the tender young age they were. Things wouldn't be okay, they both knew that at this point in time. But the two of them had each other's backs in this world, anyway, no matter what._

 _While that old house burned down, Daryl's mother burned down with it. Along with every promise she made him. She couldn't keep them now that she was dead. Nobody could but the innocent woman who would forever live in Daryl's thoughts as well as six feet under in the King County graveyard. His dad was wrong. His dad was wrong about the whole world._

* * *

' _Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.' What a bullshit lie._

" _Quit these pretentious things and just punch the clock,_

 _These days, my life, I feel it has no purpose,_

 _but late at night the feelings swim to the surface.._

 _'cause on the suburbs the city lights shine,_

 _they're calling at me, 'come and find your kind.." sprawl ii, arcade fire_

* * *

I felt like this Daryl individual chapter was definitely necessary & I'm glad I wrote & included it. I wanted to go deep into his past to show you why he's so defensive & uses jokes as a coping mechanism so often. I promise, the next chapter will go back to Michonne's predicament with her dad. Please tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5: The Kids Aren't Alright

This one definitely has the potential to piss some people off/ upset people. Please tell me what you think.

* * *

Chapter 5: Teen Angst/ The Kids Aren't Alright

 _Past_

 _2:00 AM. The summer directly following junior year:_

 _It was Michonne's decision. This was what they wanted for a long time._

" _We'll go slow, okay?" Rick promised quietly just near her left ear._

" _Okay," she whispered back, her eyes tired and excited with the desire physically coursing through her body._

" _This is definitely what you want?"_

" _Yeah." That one word held all the truth in the universe._

 _With her permission, he went forward with it. The first thrust was painful, but the second one was pure pleasure and indulgence. At the time, there was nothing in the world that felt more right than this. Rick held his weight just two inches above Michonne while they were under the unmade sheets of his bed, tangled up together._

 _His parents were out of town-this would be their first time being intimate. They took the opportunity without a second thought. It was Michonne's first time doing it with anyone in the first place, so Rick was insanely gentle and he took his time._

 _They would kiss every other thrust or so. It was filled with so much passion that they didn't know where to put it. It quickly became erratic and consumingly passionate. There was blood pounding through their veins and faint, barely-present sweat along their pulses. The kisses were tongue deep and the thrusts were powerful, yet precise._

 _It was so intimate, yet so vulnerable too. Michonne found involuntary tears pouring down her cheeks delicately while she peered up into Rick's ocean-blue eyes. She wished the tears would've stayed put because just one instant later, she felt Rick pulling out. This was new, exciting and overwhelming all at the same time._

" _What's wrong?" He inquired in a slightly more than panicked voice, "Was I hurting you?"_

 _Michonne sighed out loud, wondering how this boy still had so much innocence within his thoughts. "No, Rick," she smiled softly up at him and held his jaw with her hands tightly, "You were doing the exact opposite. It felt so good, what you were doing.. and I kind of still want to have that orgasm you promised me."_

 _This was enough to rid the tension in the space, Rick laughing out loud in the sweetest way possible. He leaned down to press an open mouthed kiss to Michonne's already-pulsing lips. "I love you so much, Michonne Tulip Thompson," he whispered before kissing the spot where his mouth lingered twice for good measure._

 _It was what made him unique, how unpredictable he was. It was one of his best qualities in Michonne's eyes. The sheets were inevitably damp with the passion of being turned on by another person. It was a welcome thing._

" _You're such a dork, Rick," Michonne giggled, putting her hands in his wavy hair the way she knew he liked. He liked to use her full name at times like this for whatever reason that was only known to him._

 _She looked him straight in the twinkling eyes as they grew tranquil together, "I love you, too. I promise I'll love you til the end of the world, baby." They didn't think about the world outside. Tonight, it wasn't important._

 _With that and those words they had already professed to each other many times in the past, they went back to the intimate space they left not 20 minutes before their paltry talk. Rick kept his promise to Michonne, giving her one of the best orgasms she had ever had or ever would have. It felt like flying-it felt like the puzzle pieces were finally all together now._

" _My Tulip," Rick whispered up to the ceiling as he tightened his arms around Michonne's waste, "I'm so proud of you." Rick couldn't see the wide smile that took it's place on Michonne's lips, both of them breathing more than usual._

 _Together, they were invincible. Protected just by the presence of each other._

 _Michonne and Rick? They didn't date. They had no use for the idea-the thought never even came to their imaginative heads. They were already together in every way that was important-they had been for years. What they did do with each other and the time they spent together were much better than dating._

* * *

 _two weeks later_

" _Hey, Judy Bug," Michonne sang out to the little girl as she watched the kid's eyes light up with joy at her presence. Rick's baby sister had always looked up to Michonne for reasons unknown to her. The door was unlocked and she came into the house, which wasn't unusual for a summer morning._

" _Hi, Michonne," Judith grinned toothily, proud of herself for being able to correctly pronounce Michonne's name after having just turned 4 years old. "I'm watchin' t.v."_

 _Judith sat on the couch in the living room with a stuffed animal in her lap and her unruly Grimes' curls going all over the place, per usual. The t.v. was on low as the kid played with her toys._

" _I see that," Michonne smiled back, taking the open space next to her favorite 4 year old. "Where's your parents and your brothers?"_

 _Judith sighed out dramatically. Just like Rick, Michonne thought. "Mommy and Daddy are having 'grown up talk'. Jeff was watchin' the t.v. with me but he left. He said it was for babies."_

 _Michonne couldn't help but to notice the little kid left out the person she had come to the Grimes' house looking for, but she wouldn't push her for more._

" _Don't listen to Jeff," Michonne whispered to the little girl who was clearly upset by one of her big brother's admissions, "He's just jealous. He wishes he was as cool as you are."_

" _Really?" Judith asked with her octave voice, her big eyes lighting up once again._

" _Yup," Michonne nodded dramatically, pleasing the little girl profusely, "You're one of the coolest people I know, Jude."_

 _Michonne stayed up and watched tv with Judith for a little while before heading out, Judith's parents still 'talking' and her brother still doing whatever it was he was doing. Michonne was worried. She had already texted Rick twice since that morning and he hadn't gotten back to her. They had been a bit weird since they their first time together just weeks before. At least that was why Michonne thought it was weird between them. They thought they weren't scared and they were prepared, but they were wrong._

 _The next best thing was to go to Daryl at work, if anybody knew where Rick was, it would be him. She had a feeling she knew what was up, but she profusely didn't want to imagine it. She didn't even want to think about the possibility of it._

* * *

Present

"If you get scared, you just look at me okay? Just look at me," Rick whispered to Michonne as they stood under the shade of an oak tree just outside the king county courthouse, their hands interlocked as they tried to ignore all the people around them.

They both wore their best business-casual outfits they could throw together on such short notice. Michonne was visibly nervous, her hands shaking slightly, as was detected by Rick as he held onto them for dear life. He was scared too, but he didn't want her to know. He should've known better because she could read him better than he could read himself. Two became one as long as their hands were intertwined.

"You too," Michonne whispered back, giving him a small smile before squeezing his hands tightly. It was almost time to go in. Rick's dad was watching them impatiently, telling them with his body language that their personal time was up.

The wind blew powerfully, blowing their tops around and pushing pollen out of the trees. They would be seeing Michonne's dad for the first time in weeks. Granted, he would be handcuffed and watched by the judge and jury of people from town.

It was a tuesday afternoon, the sun beating down hot as it ever was. It didn't help much to cool the nerves traveling through their bodies at lightning speed. Before they knew it, the court doors were open and people were being ushered into the far-too-small place. Neither of them were ready to see Michonne's dad again, but it was what had to be done.

Even though the building itself was small, the tension was large and overwhelming in its presence. Little known journalists with big city dreams filled the empty space, much to the judge's distain.

"Lets not waste the day! If everyone would be seated, please," Dale Horvath yelled out to the over-packed room, the sound bouncing off the walls and everybody falling silent in that instant.

The judge looked at the two kids in their dress pants sitting at the wide table in front of him, glancing around in confusion as if he were expecting more people to be present. Michonne wore a pair of Rick's old pants, but they were still way too big on her.

"Neither of these kids have a lawyer, so I'll be representing them," Rick's dad spoke up from where he stood to their left, complete in his police uniform, "I'm the one who initiated prosecution against the man sitting up at the podium today."

"Ah, Sheriff Grimes. Under what charges did you prosecute this man?" The judge asked skeptically. The presence of this judge was unsettling.

"For the physical abuse of Richard Grimes and Michonne Thompson."

Michonne's breath hitched as her dad looked right at her, and at the same instant she felt Rick's hand tightening around hers. "It's okay," he whispered without looking down at her.

The intensity in the room was too much to deal with. She couldn't keep track of the emotions she felt all at once.

"Tell the judge, Elliott," Rick's dad ground out through his teeth to the handcuffed man just yards in front of him, "Tell him what you did to my son and to your daughter."

Michonne's dad, Elliott Thompson, sat slumped over, looking as pathetic as he ever did. Even though she wasn't looking at Rick, she knew he was staring her dad down with hate in his wise, focused eyes.

"I-I," Michonne's dad stuttered out pathetically, stumbling over that one simple word. "I may have just lost my temper a bit and I-"

" _You just lost your temper?_ " Rick interrupted. Unfortunately, Rick's bruise was almost completely faded and wouldn't be able to be put to use in the case.

"You'll have your turn to speak, Richard," the judge scolded him, "Please, let Mr. Thompson talk."

"I can't believe this," Rick muttered under his breath to Michonne, "I think this guy is on your dad's side."

Michonne said nothing as she was tuned into the talking going on.

".. I definitely didn't mean for it to happen that way. It's just that _this one_ ," Michonne's dad said, pointing directly at Rick with purpose, " _Trespassed_ onto my property and came into my home telling stories of imaginary illnesses about my daughter. I know he's been tampering with her head, too."

It took everything in Rick's bones not to stand up and punch him in the face. Not to yell the truth to every person in the jury. His grip on Michonne's hand was the tightest it had ever been. She held on just as tightly. A pin could've dropped and it would've gone unnoticed. Everything else was unimportant.

The judge nodded invisibly, a feigned thoughtful look coming over his face, "Now we'll hear from Richard Grimes and Michonne Thompson's makeshift lawyer. They're both 18 years old, correct?"

"Correct." Rick's dad was growing impatient with the process, wanting to get it over with as soon as was possible for the two if them.

"You claim they've both been abused by this man.." the judge drawled out, "..Have they had sexual interaction together? In the past?"

"What's that got to do with anything?" Rick's dad snapped out instantly, obviously pissed off, impatient with the judge's ignorance. "No offense, sir, but if that has anything to do with your indictment process, you may just be in the wrong line of work. The point is that this man has laid his hands on these two kids, which is both unperceivable and inappropriate. I don't know what you're trying to prove."

Michonne was deeply hurt by her dad's _imaginary illnesses_ statement, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing it.

The judge sighed out deeply, looking unimpressed but knowing what he had to do under law, "I suppose you're right, sheriff. Miss Thompson, it's your turn to speak. Would you like to?" He was speaking as if she had a choice in the matter. She didn't want to, but she knew it was necessary to play her part.

She nodded once, and both Rick and Stephen Grimes turned to give her reassuring nods.

The judge began, his voice tight and unbecoming, "Has your father ever physically harmed you or touched you inappropriately in the past?"

She glanced at her dad before instantly looking towards the judge again. "..Yes."

 _Just like we practiced_. "How?"

Michonne's eyes began to tear up as she bit her lip uncomfortably. _Wasn't prepared for this par_ t. She didn't like how many people and cameras were inside the walls of the courthouse, all seemingly looking directly at her.

"She shouldn't have to describe it, should she?" Rick's dad defended.

The judge thought before nodding, knowing that Rick's dad knew every rule about this place, since he himself was the chief of police.

"Richard? Would you like to speak instead?" the judge asked, barely disguising his disdain.

Rick wasted no time, "I went Michonne's house worried about her, because she was supposed to meet up with me and our friends and she didn't show up on time. There was yelling when I arrived at the house which I could hear from outside, so I went in without knocking," he paused a second, "I told her dad about Michonne's depression and he became erratic out of nowhere. That was when he hit me, right in the face and then began to break things in the kitchen. I took her out of the house because it was unsafe." Rick skillfully avoided talking about the pills. Technically, he had told the truth.

There was about 20 seconds of painful silence as the judge sat completely still, Rick and Michonne never taking their eyes off of him.

The judge turned to the jury then, lifting a hand to silence them again. "Who finds this man guilty?" All but two people held their hands high up, causing Michonne to let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding the whole time.

"Very well, then. Elliott Thompson will be sent to the Atlanta State prison under accusations of physical abuse. His sentence will be an undetermined amount of time, but for now, it will two years." With that, the judge used his mallet and hit it down twice to make it official.

It all happened too quickly. It was unrealistic. The officers who were standing near him took Michonne's dad into their custody and outside to the police car. He was surprisingly silent the entire way as he desperately tried to get his daughter to look him in the eyes, but she wouldn't. They both knew what he had done.

"Since you're 18 years old, we don't have to worry about where you'll be staying, Michonne?" the judge asked directly.

"No, it won't be a problem." With that, people were standing and heading for the exit. Rick's dad was leaving to accompany the other officers to ensure Elliott Thompson was put away. Where he should've been put a while ago.

"You can let go of my hand if you want," Rick whispered close to Michonne's ear, once again bringing her out of her thoughts. The tight grip had been there for 2 hours now.

"Okay."

The two of them were the last ones to leave the building, the lights now out and their breathing back to normal. Rick tried his best not to laugh as Michonne tripped over his way-too-big pants.

"You dick," Michonne whispered, pushing his shoulder lightly, her usual power missing for the time being.

"That wasn't too bad, huh?" Rick attempted to smile at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. He knew she was still upset. "Don't let your dad get to you, he doesn't know you. He'll be in prison now and you won't have to worry about it."

"Well, I didn't have to talk as much as I thought I would," was all Michonne said as they left through the doors and began to walk back to Rick's house together. It was just a short distance away.

"I know this was incredibly difficult for you, Michonne," he said seriously, but his voice was gentle in its tone, "I'm glad you decided to do it, though."

"I am too," she smiled up at him, and it was real for the first time in a couple days. The past couple weeks were nothing but hell for her, but she still had that bright smile that made Rick's heart pound under his ribcage. Today was a win.

They walked past the ice cream shop without looking it's way, people watching them walk by. Their hands inevitably began to touch again. Their tasking thoughts melted away just like the ice cream did, dissipating more with each step they took on the side walk together. This was a time not to think.

"Til the end of the world, right?" Rick said out of nowhere, his smile not fake this time.

She smiled back, her white teeth present and shining under the sun, "Til the end of the world."

* * *

 _Past_

 _She had finally found him after what seemed like days upon days of walking and looking. The time that had passed was just two hours, but it felt like so much more than that. Her phone remained silent in her pocket. Dead weight._

 _After going to Daryl's work, she got a simple shrug and an "I don't know," from his lower half while he worked underneath a truck. That was when she really started to panic, if even Daryl didn't know, this was bad. Really bad. She even walked all the way to the water tower and through the woods where they sometimes hung out together with Glenn. Still, nothing came up. There was no sign of him all over town. She didn't tell the others yet. She decided she would deal with it this time._

* * *

" _Goddamn it, Rick, what the hell," she whispered with worry and anger. He was unconscious on the bathroom floor, knocked out cold with two pints of white powder and pills all around him. She knew exactly what they were. It wasn't her first time seeing them when it came to him._

" _I thought you were done with this shit," she yelled out just above a whisper, kicking the side of the tub hard and unidentifiable tears already streaming down her cheeks. If Rick killed himself because of this bullshit, she would never forgive herself._

 _Even though the logical part of her brain knew it wasn't her fault or her problem, part of it was upset with herself for not preventing it. Because once you began to know someone, truly know someone, their behavior could distress and worry you, even when it was out of the world and not your fault. Even if you were tactful in the way you dealt with things._

 _Michonne didn't know what it was like to be addicted to harmful drugs, she couldn't even imagine to know. But she knew what it was like to worry profusely about Rick Grimes. The boy who was unresponsive and slow-pulsed. The tiny breaths that left his parted lips were the only sign of life she found._

" _It's just that," Michonne continued in a trembling voice, knowing he probably wasn't able to hear her but talking anyway. It was her way of trying not to panic. "You promised me you'd stop and I know it's difficult, I know," she whispered with truth, "But this shit could kill you this time or-and I couldn't live with that, Rick. I just couldn't. If you died, I'm afraid it would kill me."_

 _She paused, taking in a deep, unhelpful breath though the air was dry. "This isn't about me though, Rick. But I'll make it about the two of us if it'll keep you and I alive. Because we promised we see 40 together, remember? You don't get to break your part of the promise."_

 _They were just dumb kids making promises they couldn't keep. Now she was talking just to talk, voicing the thoughts that came to her head._

" _You want to know what the truth is? None of this is worth anything without you." The words that left her mouth scared her because they were so unexpected, even if they were irrevocably true. "You're not gonna do this to yourself, Rick! You're not gonna kill yourself with this."_

 _She fought not to use her voice to yell. "If, if" she stuttered out through trembling lips, already knowing what she was about to say was untrue and irrational, "If it was something I did, you can tell me. Just like you said I can tell you anything? You can tell me anything too, even it'll be painful. If you're feeling shitty or even just something dumb. You have to trust me, Rick. Please. I can't keep doing this with you. You can't put this one me."_

 _Now she was panicking and there was nothing she could do. She promised she wouldn't tell anyone about the drugs and Rick's problem a long time ago, but he needed to get help or it would get worse. She sat on the tub with her pounding head between her hands, tears dripping down them, unsure what to do._

 _If there was even the slightest possibility that Michonne Thompson didn't know how important Rick Grimes was to her, she knew it now. She knew it so much it was painful. He had been one of the most important people to her ever since that day at the playground when they were kids. She knew what she had to do. She grabbed the phone and dialed until someone picked up._

* * *

 _Rick was finally waking up. He looked around to see an ordinary hospital room and looked down to see that he was propped up in an ordinary hospital bed too. There were tubes in his arms and liquids pumping into his system. Then he noticed the person he was unconsciously looking for, Michonne. He could just make her out under the dim lighting, where she sat beside the bed in one of the plush chairs, her eyes diverted towards the window and her hands tightly holding the bars of the seat. He wasn't sure if she noticed his waking yet._

" _What did you tell them?" His throat was dry, but he knew they needed to talk about it. He knew she would hear him instantly._

" _Not the truth, don't worry. I told them we were messing around in the bathroom and you hit your head on the tub."_

" _You didn't have to do that."_

" _I did, though. I made a promise." she said the last part spitefully, biting her tongue so she wouldn't yell out._

" _The only reason they let me come with you in the ambulance on the way to this place was because I was a_ witness," _Michonne whispered in disbelief, "_ A witness."

" _The bill?" Michonne knew he was talking about the cost of their little hospital trip. The doctors it took._

" _I paid it."_

 _He knew how traumatizing this whole thing must've been for her. She was already dealing with too much of her own unfortunate bullshit. Rick frowned deeply, lips pouted and everything, a pensive look coming over him as he tried not to mess with the tubes which were poking him uncomfortably. "I never wanted for you to be a part of this, Tulip. I'm sorry."_

 _He knew calling her by that name would pull at her heartstrings, and she despised him for it. She despised his absolute sincerity and his sadness. She wanted to tell him not to call her that, order it, but she didn't. She couldn't possibly find the words to. She wanted to yell, but she wouldn't. The truth was, she couldn't find it in herself to yell at him while he was awake. They were both growing older and increasingly more impatient._

" _You could've told them," he said impassively, "You could've told them everything."_

 _Michonne scoffed lightly, too tired to make more an effort, "You know I couldn't have done that. I wouldn't screw you over like that, Rick, no matter what you've done. You gotta know that by now."_

 _Rick pushed that aside for the time being. "What did you do with the.. you know." he whispered, his voice pathetic and tired._

" _I flushed them down the toilet.. your parents were at work. Judith was at daycare. I don't know where Jeff was. They don't know.. yet." She answered two questions. One he voiced out loud and one he didn't._

 _Rick tensed at that, his veins pulsing, "Oh. Thanks."_

" _You could've been an unidentified John Doe if I didn't get to you in time. I'm really pissed off at you, you know," she whispered without looking his way._

" _I know."_

 _It bothered Michonne the way he tensed up that way, she knew it was torturous for him to hear those words. She knew because she had seen what withdrawal did to him in the past. It wasn't pretty or something she ever wanted to witness again._

 _There were tears in his eyes too_. " _Glenn and Daryl?"_

" _They don't know anything, either. I found you this time."_

 _Just like that, the happiness from just weeks before had dissipated into thin oxygen. They didn't know if they could come back from it this time._

" _You didn't do anything wrong," Rick whispered, "It wasn't you. I don't want you to think that."_

 _Michonne's head snapped up at that, her eyes intense and puffy from crying. It terrified him. He wished she had decided not to look at him this time. "You heard that?"_

" _Yeah," Rick let out sadly, his lips tight and unforgivingly dry, "I heard the whole thing."_

 _It was her turn to draw a blank, her ic_ y, _intensive eyes widening in shock and another undetermined feeling. She didn't truly want him to hear what she thought at the time, at least not the whole thing. Yet inevitably, he did. "Oh."_

 _Now neither of them knew what to say. There was nearly zero emotion present between them, though their eyes were wet. It was dark and not just because the sun had started to go down. They felt like strangers. They felt like they hadn't known each other since they were 10 years old or knew every like and dislike the other had. Promises broke and people fell apart just like that. This time, it was different. This time, they would've heard the pin drop._

* * *

 _I isolated myself too._

' _Prove to me, I'm not gonna die alone.. put your arm 'round my collarbone, and open the door.. don't lie to me, if you're putting the dog to sleep, that pet you just couldn't keep.. unstitch that shit I've sewn.. well my trust in you, is a dog with a broken leg, tendons too torn to beg, for you to let me back in.. you said 'I can't prove to you, you're not gonna die alone, but trust me to take you home, to clean up that blood all over your pulse'.. you can't keep kicking yourself off the bed, kicking yourself in the head.. because you're kicking me too..' putting the dog to sleep, the antlers_

* * *

I know this was pretty intense, but that's the nature of this story. These kids are screwed up. I knew they would be when I started writing it. It definitely isn't for everybody. They have problems, you know? Things kids deal with all around the world and people tend not to pay attention to. If you were paying good attention to previous chapters, I kind of foreshadowed this. This is important, though, because it's true.

I got the idea for Michonne's middle name from Tulip O'Hare from Preacher. It's a pretty good show which I really like so far. I couldn't help but to notice a lot of Michonne's traits in Tulip. Please please tell me what you think/thought!


	6. Chapter 6: To Initiate Mr Brightside

I know this is a pretty upsetting story but I want you to know that it's not just heartbreak & weariness, there will be sunshine too, I promise. Thank you for pushing through with it.

* * *

Chapter 6: To Initiate/ Mr. Brightside

2 ½ weeks into summer

The pizza place was unusually slow today, so Glenn was awarded the day off by his temporary boss. He opted to go see Daryl at work instead. He didn't have to wonder whether he'd be there or not, he practically always was these days. He spent the day watching Daryl work, all but idolizing him as he worked under trucks and bikes, teaching the younger boy about the tools he used.

He left the place feeling a bit odd. As Glenn walked along the sidewalk by himself, an uneasy feeling suddenly filled his gut to the brim. Then came the reason behind it. Seemingly out of thin air, Shane Walsh drove up beside him and hopped out of his truck onto the sidewalk, walking directly towards Glenn with purpose. His phone was dead in his pocket and he was a distance away from his destination. _Oh shit._

Time was so vivid and obvious all of the sudden. Glenn quickened his pace, ignoring Shane walking his way and pretending he didn't see him. His destination was two blocks away. It was close, but it was too far to reach even with a quick pace. He was stuck as he heard the prominent footsteps coming up just behind his back, a hand flying out to tightly grab onto his shoulder, forcing him to turn around and stop walking. He was panicking. He didn't know what to do as time seemed to freeze in place. His day had been going just okay up until this moment.

He wished now that he had taken Daryl up on his offer to walk him home. Daryl would've protected him. He had _kindly_ declined because what he really wanted to do was to go see Maggie Greene for the second time that week. Things were going well between the two of them and Glenn didn't want Daryl to embarrass him in front of the pretty, intimidating girl.

Glenn shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath before peering up at Shane Walsh from under his pizza planet cap. He tried his best not to appear weak or terrified like he was inside.

"What do you want?" Glenn asked wearily. Shane was one of the people who had picked on Glenn all throughout high school and made immature jokes about him and others too.

"Chill, kid," Shane whipped out before spitting on the ground just two inches from where they stood. "I just got a little proposal for ya." The look in Shane's wild, unsettling eyes scared him deeply.

"I'm not interested," Glenn shot back instantly. "Whatever it is, I don't want anything to do with it, okay?"

Shane virtually ignored him, pushing what he had said aside with an impatient shake to his head. "What would you think about joining the wolves, kid?" The smile on Shane's face was sinister. It was purely up to no good.

Tears welled up Glenn's eyes just at the thought. He knew how it worked: you joined, or you died. You didn't tell anybody, or you died. His eyes widened as tears overfilled out of them, his heartbeat picking up profusely. It was an unusually cool day while the wind picked up instantly. Now Glenn knew why it had been uncomfortable, unusual even.

He knew why the feelings he had been having for the past two weeks weren't paranoia, but denial of the truth. People were watching him everywhere he went around King County. They watched him walk up and down the winding drives and lanes on a daily basis.

They targeted him because they thought he was weak-they thought he would break under the pressure and become one of them just like that. That he would leave his whole life as he knew it behind to become a wolf unwillingly. Sadly, Glenn didn't know if it were true or not.

"Jesus, Junior Rhee, are you seriously crying right now?" Shane pushed him obnoxiously, but Glenn couldn't feel it under his panic.

From his peripheral vision, he could see that the streets were completely empty, no other vehicles or people in sight. Just the occasional bird or cloud of pollen up in the sky-up with the clouds. The whole town was at work. All the lectures Glenn got from his parents in the past, which he used to think were unimportant, were suddenly iron hot in his thoughts.

"It won't be nearly as bad as you think," Shane said with obviously false integrity, "We'll initiate you into it and everything. I'll take you to meet the alpha tonight if you want to." He made it sound like there was a choice in the matter, but Glenn knew better than that. It was life or death this time.

It didn't surprise Glenn in the least that Shane was a wolf. It only surprised him that he didn't put the puzzle pieces together sooner. He had probably been watching him for weeks, waiting for his opportunity to strike. Sitting in the pizza planet with purpose. His whole head felt numb. His stomach felt empty though he had just eaten a little while ago.

Shane watched him think, his own expression a perfect poker face. "This part is important, Glenn." Glenn's head shot up at that, Shane Walsh had never used his first name unironically.

There was danger present in his whispering, purposeful voice. "You can't tell _anyone_. I'd hate to see an innocent person like you killed just 'cause you couldn't keep your mouth shut."

To make his point obvious, Shane pulled a knife out of his pocket as discretely as possible and flashed it before quickly pushing it back to where it was. Glenn could've swore he just pissed his pants. He was wondering now how many of the casual customers he had encountered at the pizza place were wolves, watching his every move or decision.

"Understood?"

Glenn gulped deeply. "Understood."

Shane laughed out loudly as if they were two friends just talking as a car drove by. There was something deeply unsettling about the sound of it. The car didn't turn around or even slow down, shredding Glenn's last sense of hope for the day instantly.

"Tonight. 10:20 sharp, here," Shane drawled, scribbling an address onto a piece of paper and shoving it into Glenn's shirt pocket. _What an odd time._

"W-what about my parents?" Glenn asked shakily, too much shock coursing through his body to say anything of more importance.

Shane truly considered it for a moment. "Just tell them you went to hang out with those dumb friends of yours," he shrugged, "What were their names 'gain? Darlina, Richy and the silent one? Well, the silent one might not talk, but she sure is one hot woman," Shane whistled.

Glenn was upset, but he tried not to physically show it. There was no possible way he'd win in a fight, especially not with Shane Walsh. Especially not with a wolf. He didn't like people talking that way about his friends, but there was nothing he could do about it for the time being. _There probably never will be_ , Glenn thought sadly, disappointment traveling through his panic-stricken, terrified mind.

"It was nice talking to you, kid. _I'll see you later._ " There was no option present.

Just as quickly as Shane came, he disappeared, leaving Glenn standing there with trembling legs and uneasy thoughts. Though he had originally planned to walk to Maggie's house, there was no way he would put her in danger too. So he switched directions and headed to his own place instead. It was kind of funny, how your life could worsen just like that.

* * *

 _There has to be something I can do, a person I can talk to,_ Glenn thought as he pulled the keys from his pocket and attempted a second time to open the front door to his house. The thoughts were whooshing through one by one and his hands shook violently.

As soon as he was inside the protection of his home, he was bombarded by his german sheperd, Shiva. The dog jumped up on him while whining, instantly sensing that there was something wrong.

Glenn tried his best to calm the dog down, pushing him down and patting the top of his head, "It's okay," he whispered, "Everything's fine." Everything in deed wasn't fine. The tension was palpable.

He ran to all the windows downstairs on wobbly legs to ensure they were all locked and shut. Every single one of them. The blinds were closed and the spare keys were put away.

"Glenn? Is that you?" his parents called from the other room, worry present in their voices.

"Yeah mom, dad," he said breathlessly as he came into the tv area to face them properly, "I just got back from hangin' out with Daryl at work." The truth was all he could think to say. Why wouldn't he tell the truth?

Josephine and Edward Rhee shared a knowing look. They looked up at there son together through an unending mountain of old computer parts.

"If you say so, sweetie." his mom said skeptically. "You know.. Your father and I've been talking- we know this is a hard time for you. With your friends all graduated and you going into senior year. If something is ever up, you can always come talk to us, okay?"

Glenn just nodded, forcing out a smile. He hated when his parents talked to him like he was still a little kid. "Yeah. Got it. But everything's just fine. It's just.. hot out. You know."

With that, Glenn rushed out of the room and upstairs to his bedroom, his dad not saying a word but watching him with a look that said he knew something deeper was up.

It was almost 8:00 PM now, which meant Glenn had just over 2 hours before he was supposed to _willingly_ walk directly into the wolf pit. He was tempted to talk to somebody. Secrets were never his thing-he always ended up spilling them. But this was one he had to keep. This one meant the difference between living or being killed before even getting to see the world outside.

* * *

Rick's parents house. 8:20 PM:

They sat around the circular couch in the basement which served as his dad's "bachelor pad". But really, it was just a place they went to when it was too hot outside and there was nothing to do upstairs. His dad barely touched it-he was always working. A flat screen 80-inch tv plastered the left wall. Too-big portable stereos hung just above it on either side. There were ps4 video games and old dvd's scattered all over the place, making it difficult to pick just one.

Rick watched in amusement as Michonne and Daryl argued about comic books instead of watching whatever was on t.v. They felt like kids for the time being. The way they were supposed to feel.

"No, no, you see," Michonne said with exasperation as Daryl narrowed his eyes playfully. It was the second time making the same point. "Marvel is better. Professor X would _destroy_ batman just by looking at him one time."

Daryl had his comeback already prepared, shaking his head in denial and interruption. "Nah, nah, you got it all wrong. Look at it _this way_ ," Daryl said purposefully, widening his arms as if to prove a point, "Just think about what _superman_ would do to every single one of the x-men without even trying. Professor X damn near exhausts himself doing the tiniest thing."

Michonne slumped back into the plush couch, looking deep in thought-defeated for a moment before her eyes lit up. Prepared.

"Any member of the x-men could protect themselves with just a piece of kryptonite. It would kill _superman_ with just enough of it-I'm way ahead of you," Michonne smirked, steadfast in her point.

" _That's fuckin' cheating,_ dude, you know it too. So, actually, I'm way ahead of _you_ ," Daryl shot back proudly.

"Well, actually, I-" Michonne began in irritation before Rick instigated into their little play fight.

"Okay, okay, would you two knock it off?" Rick let out as he watched them, but there was no malice or truth present in his voice. He was just tired.

It was a normal, usual occurrence for the first time in a while. It was a welcomed thing.

They looked over at Rick as if they had forgotten he was there the whole time, listening to their unprovable and completely theoretical fight. The two of them instantly obliged, giving him apologetic looks. He just waved it off. There was no jealousy or disdain, just weariness.

Daryl's eyes lit up with intention as he noticed how much Rick seemed to be unnerved, "Would you two be doin' it on this couch right now if I wasn't-"

"Daryl!" Michonne yelled while getting him right in the face with the one of the plush pillows.

He got her back just moments later, twice as hard. Rick just laughed at the two, more glad than ever for the ease and play fighting between them. It made things easier to deal with.

The truth was, he didn't know what the two of them would be doing if Daryl wasn't with them. Privately, they were both glad he was there with them. He was a welcomed familiarity as well as a temporary distraction from other things.

The turned the volume up on the t.v. and drifted into _It,_ all trying to act tough and unafraid as they unconsciously scooted closer to each other on the plush, black couch. Innocence wasn't uncommon, but it's presence was welcome whenever it decided to show itself.

They were all hardened by the world, but it was okay because there were times when they weren't too.

* * *

Rick's parents house. 10:08 PM

"Wasn't Glenn 'pposed to come up here with you?" Rick asked Daryl as he suddenly remembered their talk from earlier. Michonne asked the same question without talking.

"Oh, he was," Daryl whistled out, "But I think he wanted to go spend time with Maggie Greene instead. They've been talking it up, apparently. They're probably in each other's pants at this very moment."

To their knowledge, there was nothing to worry about.

"Wow," Rick said genuinely, "I didn't think he had it in 'im."

"Me neither, dude," Daryl scoffed out.

"You two are jerks," Michonne let out, "Just because you didn't get into anybody's pants when you were 16 doesn't mean Glenn won't. The world is changing. He isn't a kid anymore, you know."

"Hmph," The two replied at the same time, not wanting to imagine it. It was an inevitable truth.

They seemed to notice the time then. Daryl stood with his jacket, stretching wildly, pushing hair out of his face while he did. "I should probably get goin'."

Michonne bit her lip tightly, not wanting to say what was on her mind and had been for the past couple of days. But she knew she would have to at some point.

"Back to work? Or is the woods this time?" Michonne asked with just slightly raised, inquiring eyebrows. This seemed to happen often these days: they would just be joking and then things would become serious. It was an unavoidable thing.

"What?"

"Come on, Daryl," she said, dropping her guard just a bit and turning to face him fully, "Please don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you haven't been going home."

Rick's eyes widened. He was surprised Michonne figured it out before he did, but it all made sense now. Whenever Daryl wasn't at work, he was with them or he was doing god-knows-what out in the woods. _He didn't want to go home._

Daryl's cheeks reddened in embarrassment. He looked down before picking at his unkempt fingernails uncomfortably.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Rick asked softly, pity written all over his usually deep voice. They all stood now, Daryl closest to the stairway and Rick and Michonne standing a couple feet in front of him.

"What?" Daryl shot out suddenly, pissed off and in no mood for pity or sad looks. "Like you two tell me everything that's goin' on all the time?"

It was their turn to look down guiltily. There was a lot of information they had been keeping from the people who were supposedly important to them in the past couple weeks.

They were unphased by his outburst, it was his second nature at times like this. He became defensive. He became someone he wasn't and he said things he didn't mean. They were used to it.

"Daryl," Rick began carefully, reaching out to steady him, placing a hand on one of his taut shoulders, "You shouldn't be embarrassed about it, you know? We all got shit we don't like to talk 'bout. I'm sure my parents would let you stay here too, if they knew why."

Daryl knew he was being sincere. He knew he meant was he was saying to him, but he couldn't see past his perceivable indignance. He pulled out of Rick's grasp. It was purely instinct. "Nah. I wouldn't wanna impose."

It was Rick's turn to be upset, causing Michonne to become nervous, stepping between the two just in case it was necessary. She wished Glenn were there with them. Glenn would've just made some dumb joke and eased the tension right up, just like that.

"Are you fucking kidding, Daryl? Way to throw yourself a damn pity party just because people actually want to try to help you."

"Rick," Michonne whispered his way with disbelief, 'Don't push him. If he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to."

Now Michonne wished she had never brought it up, but she felt she had an obligation to. She was worried about him, understandably. She wished she didn't know so much. She wished she didn't see every little detail that took place or changed about people.

Daryl was thinner and his eyes didn't shine so much anymore, even when he tried to pretend they did. The grey was just noticeably more evident than the blue. It had only been a week, but she saw the small changes in his demeanor-she saw the way it was torturing his thoughts.

Daryl was like a cornered animal when he was scared. He would bite unintentionally. The pain of youth had gotten to them all. It changed the people they were. The innocent kids they used to be.

"Listen to your girlfriend, Grimes. She knows what she's talkin' 'bout," Daryl spat out before storming out of the basement, up the stairs and out.

The two of them heard the door slam upstairs and then Judith's wailing cry. There wasn't an opportunity to ask where he would go. He was already gone. This was going to be tough. There was a way to deal with it. This wasn't it.

* * *

King County woods. 10:22 PM

The sun had already set by the time Glenn made his way out to the wooded address which was scrawled onto the wrinkled up piece of paper. His hands were still trembling, going on to hours at this point. The chill to the air was unignorable. It felt more like a winter's eve than the middle of summer. Glenn was freezing cold, but whether it was just in his thoughts, he didn't know.

There was nobody out in the woods where they were supposed to be and Glenn was starting to get worried. He looked around and saw nothing. He could hear the occasional owl or deer coming from all directions. Glenn pushed his hands deep into his pockets and waited. Out of nowhere, he heard people-created howling coming his way. It sounded like there were hundreds of them. Glenn kept his word though, he hadn't told anybody. He hadn't even brought his phone.

Shane Walsh led a group of boys over his way, howling obnoxiously the entire time.

"This is Jeremy," he said breathlessly, pushing the other person forward to shake Glenn's hand. He obliged instantly.

"Is this the leader?" Glenn asked, eyeing the man before him who had to be at least 20 years old and had a good eight inches on him height-wise.

Shane laughed out loud, "No way. You'll meet the leader soon kid, don't worry."

Glenn was never much of a prayer, but he found himself praying he wouldn't be killed tonight as the group led him deeper into the woods. They were headed for an old warehouse way out at the edge of town. It was the outskirts where people rarely went-for obvious reasons. Glenn knew this because he had seen it with his own eyes many times from the top of the water tower. It wasn't a place he felt good about going to.

They moved like a pack. With out mind. Every twig snap or sound of wind caused Glenn to jump, which caused the others to laugh obnoxiously each time. They were a bunch of immature dicks who thought they were cool because they were in a gang. As they walked deeper into the woods, it was becoming increasingly difficult for Glenn to tell it if was people or trees he was bumping into. The wolves had numbers. Too many.

He felt the weight of the whole world on top of his shoulders. It only got worse when they finally reached their destination, Jeremy pounding an intricate code into the tall door for it to open. Inside the warehouse were at least 200 people, all male and all young enough to have been _recruited_. Glenn did a double take when he instantly recognized some of the faces he saw. Jim, Jack, Ed and Tobin. There were even a couple underclassmen present. Glenn wondered what they told their parents. He wondered how long it took the brainwash their young minds.

"I got fresh meat!" Shane yelled out, grabbing Glenn by the shirt collar and pushing into the wide circle of chanting people.

"Is he tainted?" one yelled out.

"Nope," Shane grinned widely, "He's just 16 years old. Fresh out of junior year."

"Perfect," another one said from just behind him, picking his teeth with a slender kitchen knife. They wore face paint and dark clothing.

"What the hell?" Glenn asked aloud, feeling as though he was in some type of parallel universe.

People were chanting 'fresh meat' and howling, all while slapping him on the back in welcome.

Shane acted as though it were the proudest thing he'd done that week.

Glenn didn't know what to think. They really were just a bunch of kids with weapons. They were all forced to be here, just like him. The only difference was, they had grown used to it. Some of them probably even liked it. He wondered if they were really killing people like the police said. There only seemed to be a small amount who were scared and quiet. They must've been new too.

Everyone suddenly grew dead quiet as a masked figure dressed in deep, dark colors emerged from the shadows on the upper level of the warehouse. Slowly, everyone bowed as if a great king was present.

"Bow, you idiot," Shane spit out through his teeth. Even the tough, relentless Shane Walsh was kneeling near the ground for this masked figure. All that could be heard were steps and unintentional breathing.

"Great Alpha," the boys said in unison, their heads pushed into the ground as if they would be stunned or killed if they so much as looked up at the wrong time.

Weapons were placed on the ground. The warehouse was once again silent.

Suddenly, Jeremy was stepping out of the shadows with a young boy who couldn't have been more than 14 years old, dragging him by the shirt collar. The kid looked terrified. Glenn recognized him too as they made the briefest eye contact before looking away out of fear.

There were two deep claps before everyone stood again, all facing the same direction.

The alpha watched as Jeremy pulled out a knife and held it to the kid's throat. The kid was thin. He had no fight left inside of him.

"Please!" the kid yelled out desperately. "I-I didn't mean to tell anybody! It just slipped out, I swear!" the kid was frantic, though not putting up much of a fight because he would have nowhere to go to. The bright lights from the far-too-high ceiling were overwhelming. Glenn's unanswered question was instantly answered. They were about to kill this kid for tattling.

It didn't seem real at first-or afterward. Not when the kid's throat was slit open by Jeremy or when the gurgled sound of his last breaths left his young, parted lips.

Glenn found it difficult to hear through the sound of his head pounding violently against his skull. He felt like he was going to pass out in that instant. _Please, please just be a dream_ he repeated over and over again in his thoughts, squeezing his eyes tight shut. The dead kid lay just yards in front of him, eyes wide open-freezing and soulless.

While his eyes were still shut, Glenn thought about the people who were important to him. His parents. Daryl. Michonne. Rick. Anything to halt the overwhelming panic and the sense of uselessness which overcame him.

He even thought about Maggie Greene in passing, the girl he had just started knowing and already had developed deep feelings for. He thought about her smile. He thought about how her earthy-blue eyes would light up and her perfect teeth would sparkle white when she talked about something which excited her even just a little. How she would laugh with him and not at him like other people. He thought about much he loved her, even in the just the short time he truly knew the person she was. He wished he told her that, just in case he wouldn't make it out alive tonight.

 _Please, please just wake up._ But this wasn't a dream and everybody was awake this time. He opened his eyes and looked around to see that nobody was phased by what just happened- except him. Empty, emotionless poker faces filled the place. They were just shadows of the people they used to be.

"That's what happens when you can't keep a secret," Shane whispered, and for once, he sounded genuinely sad, "Tragic, isn't it? _I knew the kid too_."

Glenn said nothing back. His heart had jumped into his throat and he couldn't speak. He wouldn't even if he wanted to or was able to. As it turned out, Shane Walsh was just a pawn too. A pawn who had grown used to it. They were toy soldiers.

Jeremy waited for his next command while cleaning the fresh blood off his precious knife with a wipe. It frightened Glenn the way he seemed to be so unphased after having just killed an innocent person. He'd obviously done it before. Tears welled up Glenn's eyes for the second time, unnoticed to him.

"Throw the body in the water this time?" Jeremy asked casually, looking up. The alpha just nodded once without even glancing his way.

The alpha descended the steps that led to the lower level of the warehouse where everyone was, stepping over the dead kid as if he weren't even there. Everybody looked his way in that instant. Towards Glenn. The newest young wolf.

It was a wonder he didn't pass out yet. Cold sweat ran down the back of his neck and spread to his t-shirt. This was it. They were just yards apart, one kneeled and one standing tall. Nothing would've prepared him for this. Time and distance were one.

This was it. There was no turning back from this or jumping into your parents' bed. There stood the alpha in all the world's glory. The mask came off. Every person around the pit fell silent. Then, Glenn gasped out in pure shock. _It was a woman._

* * *

 _You were so optimistic. I should warn you though, if you're in it just for the happy parts, you're in the wrong place._

' _It was never my object for someone to get killed, why would I want to destroy something I helped build? It wasn't my intention, my intentions were good.._

 _There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme and wouldn't have to worry 'bout one of your people dyin'. But now it's elevated 'cause once you put someone's kids in it, the shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?' like toy soldiers_


	7. Chapter 7: The Pinnacle of Our Dream

There's lots of important details in this one. Pay attention to them.

* * *

Chapter 7: The Pinnacle of Our Dream

 _Past_

" _This' how the game works," Daryl began, looking around to make sure everybody was watching, "We go out into the water as far as we can without drowning and we try to see who can hold their breath under for the longest time. Okay?"_

 _There were nods of understanding. Rick and Glenn had done this many times before, but Michonne was new and she wanted to try it too. She wanted to be a part of it._

 _The four of them stood just by the water, the bottoms of their pants soaking wet. The pebbles were slightly uncomfortable, but they weren't painful. This was it. This time, it was for a real prize._

" _Okay."_

 _Just like that, there was a countdown and four small bodies dumped themselves down into the water about 8 yards away from where the pebbles were, holding tiny hands over their faces. Their important things were tossed just at the edge of the water-already getting wet. Just a short while later, Rick came up first, muttering profanities at the thought of losing 20 bucks just like that. Then Michonne came up, and the smile on her face was so wide it looked painful._

 _Rick laughed at her while her tiny shoulders shivered and she laughed with him too- it was the laugh he'd already begun to dream about while his bright blue orbs were tight shut under the twinkling stars. Both of them had wet hair stuck to their cold faces._

" _I've never seen a person that happy to lose 20 bucks before, Thompson."_

 _She said nothing back, but her bright eyes got all wide as she swam back to the edge of the lake to get her things together. Rick watched her swim the whole way back and then waited for his two friends to come up for oxygen. He already knew who would win._

 _Daryl and Glenn were still underneath, watching each other under the water to see who would give up and come up for air first. Glenn came up just a split second before Daryl, causing a loud 'woo!' to escape Daryl's shivering lips in victory. They were soaking wet and freezing cold, but Daryl didn't care because he had just won a good amount of money from it._

 _Michonne was already changing into dry clothes by the time the other kids swam back to the earth. Drips of icy water were splayed throughout their delicate eyelashes._

" _Did Grimes come up before you?" Daryl asked her breathlessly while taking off and shaking out his wet top._

 _She just nodded, looking at the person kicking pebbles in defeat, unwilling to meet Daryl's prideful gaze._

" _Yeah, she beat me," he said while still not looking their way._

" _You still gotta pay up," Daryl said definitively, walking Rick's way to look him right into the eye. Cerulean to blue-grey. "Don't be a sore loser, sweetie" he whispered jokingly._

" _I know. I will." Rick let out through chattering, slightly pissed teeth without looking up for too long to meet his best friend's pointedness._

 _Michonne watched the two of them in silent wonder. They weren't really upset-they were just pretending._

 _Glenn's teeth were chattering away while he wished he'd been smart enough to bring a change of dry clothes too. He sat just yards away from the others. "My parents are gonna kill me for this," he muttered under his breath as he examined his water-ruined new sneakers. His head rested on top of his knees._

 _The game-boy Glenn had just gotten for his birthday was water damaged too and wouldn't turn back on. They hadn't thought about the tide._

" _You a mute or somethin', Thompson?" Daryl asked out of the blue with genuine wonder, his lips pressed tightly together. She turned to look at him with an odd, undeterminable look on her tiny face._

" _Daryl!" Rick whispered harshly before pushing him back towards the water. He tumbled backwards for a split second in time before gaining his footing back just like that._

" _Ow! What was that for? I'm just sayin'," Daryl whispered back, "She don't talk-least I've never heard a peep outta her."_

 _Michonne's smiled wide at the two, oblivious to the fact that she could hear everything they were saying. "Yeah, I guess," she shrugged her tiny shoulders in a way that made Rick forget about being upset. Daryl's eyes just widened in surprise at the sound of her voice. He'd known her for weeks and he'd never heard her talk even one time._

" _You could call me that if you want to."_

 _The boys were shocked-all but Rick, who had gotten the privilege of hearing her voice almost every day since she came to King County. It was a pleasure to hear her low, twinkling octave._

 _They were tired and excited all in the same instant of time. The young life was one they would definitely have trouble letting go of-letting it stay in the past._

 _A silver watch told them the time and a compass, along with Daryl's premature tracking skills, told them which way to go. The water was left behind as they headed into the woods to reach their next destination. It was freezing out and dirty leaves stuck to the bottoms of their feet, but it was totally worth it._

* * *

Present

"I don't know what's up with him. He won't answer 'is phone, he hasn't been at work all week- I just don't know."

Rick, Daryl and Michonne sat together inside the King County police station. Daryl wore his angel winged jacket and Rick and Michonne wore sweatpants and hoodies. Things were still a bit tense between them since their outburst the previous week, but they'd let it go for the time being. It wasn't important.

Rick's dad listened intently, writing something down quickly with a pen onto the notepad in his lap. There was a pensive look on his face that they couldn't quite place.

They hadn't seen Glenn all week and they were starting to worry. When they went to his house and talked to his parents, they said they thought he was with them the whole time. The next best thing would be to ask Maggie, but she thought he had been with them too. Plan one and plan two were out. Glenn wasn't at work and he wasn't with the girl he'd been seeing for some time. It was time to be worried.

Rick's dad sighed out dramatically, running a hand down his tired face. This was obviously something he'd dealt with many times-usually with worried or paranoid parents. "You said it's been a week since you've seen 'im?"

They shared a couple quick glances before answering with, "Yeah."

"Why didn't any of you call the police before this?" Rick's dad asked, his eyebrows raised with oblivious intrigue.

It was Daryl who answered it. "We didn't think anything was up until we couldn't find 'im ourselves-you know?"

"Dad, I really think if he doesn't turn up by tonight we should start a search party-"

Just then, the person of interest walked through the glass police station doors, his baseball cap still just in place. The one thing that was different was the look in his wide eyes-they were tired and pretensive. His walk was nervous-unlike his usual one.

"What's up?"

They all watched him with their mouths wide open, their expressions quickly turning upset. The way he pretended to be normal and that everything was usual perturbed them.

" _What's up?_ " Daryl mimicked, "We've been trying to text you for hours- _days_. We went to see your parents and everything. _Where_ the _hell've_ you been? Without the theatrics."

Glenn hesitated, which let everybody know that he was trying to formulate a true-sounding answer within his jumbled-up head. There was sweat along his pulses though it was a fairly cool day. It was a dead giveaway to the people who knew him too well. "Uh.. out."

Michonne spoke up next, standing up from one of the low, metal chairs to be directly in front of him. Her voice was tired and impatient. "Well," she began lowly, "Perhaps next time you could, _I don't know_ , let someone know the next time you disappear for a whole week?"

Michonne was the one with the intelligent gaze-always. It was nerve-wracking at its least and terrifying at its best. If anybody would know something weird or out of the ordinary took place, it would be her.

Rick's dad shook his head in disappointment before getting up to head back to his private office. " 'xcuse me kids. I got real work to do," he muttered under his breath before shutting the metal door behind him in a way that was less than quiet. Paper shuffled up with the boost of wind.

"We're just happy you're okay," Rick breathed out. "We thought something bad happened, dude. You know your parents were flipping out? Where were you?"

The nervous look reappeared in his eyes as his friends watched him intently, waiting for the truth to come spilling out. What he planned on saying wasn't technically untrue.

"I just needed to get outta town for a while. Shit's just been tough, you know?"

"Yeah," Daryl answered, his tone telling exactly the way he felt about it. Glenn may as well have been invisible.

Daryl looked plain upset, while Rick and Michonne shared a disappointed look before smiling just a little, their lips upturning almost identically. They were happy he was okay, but that didn't mean they couldn't be pissed that he had done something that dumb while not telling the whole truth about it.

They would let it go for now, but they knew something was up instantly. Glenn wasn't the type of kid to just up and leave town for a week without even telling his parents. There was definitely something weird happening.

"Your parents are gonna kill you," Rick spoke declaratively to Glenn on the way out the glass doors. The expression on his hard face was entirely too serious. It was a warning. He pulled his jacket around himself tighter, zipping up the zipper to the very top until it nearly cut out his oxygen intake.

"Yeah. I know."

* * *

 _The previous week_

" _Glenn? You with me?" It was Shane Walsh-who had just splashed freezing cold water onto him in order to wake him up. His face was pale and his lips were nearly blue._

" _What happened?" Glenn asked, his eyes wide and scared. The temperature seemed to drop by the second while his body continued to shake with unknown terror._

 _Shane bit his lip and sighed out. "You passed out a while after the kid was killed. We initiated you-then you were out. Just like that."_

" _Initiated me?" Glenn asked, still unsure about exactly what was going on or what took place._

 _Shane lifted his left palm to show the intricate pattern that had been etched in with a knife a while back. It was a poorly traced wolf. Glenn looked into his palm to see the same pattern traced permanently into his skin. It was just faint enough to go unnoticed to other people but just present enough to be the only thing Glenn would see when he looked down at his left palm._

" _Don't touch it too much," Shane warned, "It only makes it worse. Trust me-I would know."_

 _That was when Glenn felt the pain spreading quickly through his nerves. Inevitably, his head began to pound again. It was dizzy and uneasy everywhere he looked. The words 'trust me' bounced around in his head like an unknown idea._

 _He noticed the sun was up in the pale blue sky. It was just the two of them out by the water, just outside the woods. They were way outside of town._

" _How long've I been out?" He asked, squinting to block the sun's unforgiving light. It didn't help much to calm the panic which continued to pump through his veins._

"' _Bout 14 hours," Shane deadpanned, looking down at his watch to double check. A permanent frown rested just at his lips._

 _Glenn could feel another panic attack coming on, but he tried desperately to push it aside. At least for the time being._

 _He looked up to meet Shane Walsh's gaze, which surprisingly looked pitiful and sorry._

" _Look kid," he sighed out tranquilly, "I didn't want you to be a part of this. I was just doin' what they told me to. You know that, don't you?"_

 _Glenn just nodded curtly, but he could still feel another wave of upset feelings just under the surface of his poker face. What Shane said next surprised him profusely._

" _I'm gonna do the best I can to protect you, Junior Rhee. You understand?" Shane said lowly while checking their surroundings quickly, "If any kid deserved to be a part of this, it definitely wasn't you. I'll do whatever I can-I don't want this thing to fuck you up the way it did to me, okay?"_

 _This was a side to Shane Walsh Glenn hadn't seen before-he was left wondering if Walsh was nearly as bad a person as he pretended to be for the town's sake as a whole. But then Glenn remembered what Shane had mercilessly done to one of his best friends all that time ago-_ twice _. Then he remembered what Shane used to do to him-the torment he put him through all the time._

 _He instantly shook the peculiar thought from his pounding skull. Walsh was a difficult person to understand-he was erratic and unpredictable on a_ good day _. Him being nice one time shouldn't have meant anything. That's what Glenn told himself profusely in his thoughts._

 _Glenn nodded before poking his tongue out to wet his lips nervously, unsure but also positive Shane meant every word he spoke at the same time. "Okay."_

" _Alright," Shane said while slapping Glenn hard on the back playfully, pulling him up from where he leaned against one of the wet boulders. He instantly reverted back to his usual self after the little talk. "I'll walk you back to the path that leads to town. Tomorrow, we got a big gig to attend, kid."_

 _The woods would never be the same place again-the place was tainted with uneraseable images. The protection it once offered dissipated just like that._

* * *

Present

"It's tonight. I heard from some of the people in the shop it'll be the biggest, best one yet," Daryl said before blowing smoke into the wind through his parted lips.

"Tickets?" Michonne inquired.

"Got 'em," he replied instantly, pulling four shiny silver tickets out of his jacket pocket as undeniable proof. Michonned nodded-impressed with Daryl's proactiveness.

They wore worn out jeans and tough exteriors. They hung around the outside of the movie theater today, leaning against the see-through window while bored out of their minds and looking for something to do while they waited for anything exciting to happen around town. Their parents kicked them out of the house, telling them to 'see the outside world' for once in their indulgent lives.

Daryl suggested the King County carnival-which came to town just once a year. It was a tradition for them to go together, ever since they were in junior high. A lot of things had changed over the past couple weeks, but their excitement for the colorful, extravagant carnival hadn't changed one bit. It was a sight to see-the whole town wanted to go.

Flyers were posted on nearly every window in town. It was something people liked to talk about.

"Yeah," Rick breathed out excitedly in response to Daryl's previous words, "Tara told me they'll have a ride just like the man of steel at darien lake. She swears over her own dead body they will."

"Did Tara also tell you about the elephant and the sky dancers?" Michonne asked. Her eyes were twinkling with humor. She of all people knew it wasn't nearly as big a deal as everybody liked to paint it to be, but they were still excited either way. It was one of the only fun parts about summer.

Rick's eyes twinkled back, letting her know he had caught onto her little play. "Yeah, yeah. She did. The other day when I was out at the pizza planet."

"Rosita told me a whole 'nother story, Grimes. Plus Jeff. Plus Sasha Williams. Tyreese Williams-It was just the other day, too," Michonne scoffed out knowingly before bringing yet another handful of kettle corn to her pursed lips. People talked.

Glenn watched them in amusement, finally smiling a little for the first time since his initiation. He'd hoped the carnival tonight would help him to forget about the whole thing for a little while. He had the 'day off' as the wolves called it-which meant he had 24 hours before his next outing.

"I guess we'll just have to find out who was telling the truth," he grinned widely. Glenn had earphones in and was popping bubbles with his gum, but at least he was with them and participating today.

Daryl bumped his shoulder, glad that he was back and able to once again. Glenn tried to push him back, but Daryl dodged it by just a couple inches.

"My bet's on Tara," Daryl piped up. "I known her a while, she isn't no bluff. Rosita's just a party ruiner-probably just upset she couldn't get a date to the fuckin' carnival."

"Oh please," Michonne interrupted, "Everybody and their brother knows Tara and Rosita have been making googly eyes and kissy faces at each other since they were 12 years old. I don't know what they're waiting for to tell you the truth."

Michonne could tell Daryl wanted to say something smart, but one dangerous look shut him up instantly. The look was replaced with a tiny smile afterwards. These boys were putty in her waiting hands.

"Boys suck," Rick spoke up with a dumb grin present on his plump lips. He pointedly looked towards Michonne as she blew out an unnecessary breath before whispering 'fuck you'. Though Rick was definitely tired today, she could tell he was pretending he wasn't. "I would know."

"Yeah," Michonne agreed instantly, "You would know."

Their usual game was just getting started when a distracting voice pulled them out of their thoughts.

"You kids seein' a movie or what?" the obnoxious box-office worker yelled out to them, "Because if not, you'll have to leave the premises-including the parking lot too."

The guy had to be two years older than them at most, so his patronization really peeved them. Besides Daryl discretely flipping the guy off , they began to walk away without another word. They wouldn't get into trouble today.

Michonne watched Rick warily while they walked away from the theater-leaving it behind in the dust of King County. His demeanor was noticeably off-putting. There were permanent bags under his ocean-like eyes. They popped out like a sore thumb. She couldn't tell if he was overdosing again or if he was just tired from the week's events. She pushed it to the way back of her thoughts for the time being. Tonight was going to be fun-It was going to be wonderful and exciting.

* * *

King County carnival. 8:20 PM-ish:

Bright, twinkling lights surrounded the place. It was pretty, but it was almost peculiarly just like a scene out of the silence of the lambs or big fish. It was impossibly vivid and wonderful. There could've quite literally been a wolf on every or any corner they turned-unknown to them-even to the young wolf who walked with them tonight.

They were high on more than just joy tonight. The universe didn't seem to be important for the time being. To the left was the overwhelmingly tall ferris wheel they got on every year. It was just as special the 8th time around.

Tara walked their way, a wide smile on her face as she waved to them. "What's up guys? I'm really glad you came tonight," she said after fist bumping with Daryl.

Tara wore a pin which said 'I was up with the steel' in white letters. Daryl turned around and winked at Michonne, who just rolled her eyes at him before pushing him slightly.

"You wanna join us?" Michonne asked knowingly. It looked like Tara wasn't with anyone tonight, and Michonne knew how shitty that could turn out.

"Yeah," she breathed out in relief, "Thanks."

The two of them weren't as close as Tara was with Rosita, but they'd known each other since they were kids and they'd always liked each other.

Rick and Glenn were already spending the majority of their bank accounts at the vending machine and snack stand. They had been there for nearly 20 minutes now while the others waited impatiently for them.

"Pigs," Michonne whispered. "You know that's the first thing they wanted to do here? It's a carnival and all they care about is the damn fried dough and pop," Michonne grinned widely. It was just pretend.

"As long as they bring me back a drink, I don't give a damn," Daryl piped up.

Rick and Glenn were finally rejoining the group, saying hi to Tara and then taking off towards their first destination together. It was all dark except for the twinkling white lights which illuminated the place. They stuck close together just in case.

"How's it goin' with Maggie?" Tara asked Glenn timidly.

Glenn had candy stuffed between his lips as he looked her way, quickly swallowing it down in embarrassment. "Uh, good. I think."

"That's good," Tara nodded, "She's one of the best people I know. You two are perfect for each other."

Glenn smiled at that, punching Tara lightly on the left shoulder, "Thank you."

* * *

Past 10:00 PM:

They rode the ferris wheel together and pinpointed exactly who was afraid of heights. Next was the elephant show and even the dancers-Tara was right about everything, including the man of steel duplicate. When they got off the ride, they were tired and exasperated, but happy they got to experience it twice. They drank twist-off top soda like they were in the 80s.

Rick watched Michonne with a tiny smile on his lips the whole time-her dimples were ever-present today. They were all trapped within their own individual conversations amongst themselves when they spotted Shane Walsh and his group of people by one of the lines, leaning up on the metal rails-the place they were headed straight for. Lori Peters was with them-her dark hair pinned up in a high ponytail. They made out publicly as if the whole town wasn't watching them while touching each other's thighs. They may as well have been doing it behind one of the dumpsters.

Glenn's breath started to pick up as he stopped walking instantly, dropping his drink and candy on the ground. He hadn't expected Shane Walsh to be there tonight-of all people. The others turned to look at him, wondering what was wrong all of the sudden. Then they noticed who he was looking at with wide, terror-stricken eyes.

Daryl put the pieces together just like that, though some were obviously still missing. It didn't mean he wouldn't act on impulse.

"It's got something to do with them, doesn't it? Why you've been acting weird?" he asked Glenn, his voice raising up an octave with each word he spoke. "They do somethin' to you? Somethin' we should know about?"

Daryl was getting worked up, and it quickly spread to Rick, Michonne and Tara, who were all oblivious to the truth but could tell something weird was up. The music which played from one of the merry-go-round's seemed to stop instantly. The whole world was focused on them.

Glenn could see it in each pair of eyes, from blue-grey to chestnut. They were ready to fight. To protect.

"Hey-Walsh!" Daryl yelled immediately after spotting Shane by one of the rails.

"Daryl," Glenn spit out, stepping directly in front of him immediately, "I told you. It's nothing, okay?"

"Please," Daryl dismissed, "You're lookin' over that way like you just saw a deer killed."

There was silence that followed. Shane was looking their way, a warning present in his eyes, directly towards Glenn's. _Don't talk_ , it said. He pulled his jacket around himself impossibly tighter. Something was definitely about to go down. He just had an imputent, unshakable inkling.

They didn't know the whole thing, but they would protect him either way. It felt like the whole town was watching as Daryl got up in Shane's face, threatening him with illegible words. Rick tried to get between them, but as soon as he did, Shane started to push him and Rick didn't like that at all. Daryl didn't either.

"Don't you touch him!" Daryl yelled to Shane's twisted face, " _I'm_ talkin' to you."

"It doesn't look like we're doin' a whole lotta _talkin'_ , Dixon," Shane spit back, already balling up his fists in preparation.

"Jesus!" Michonne yelled out from the side as the first punch was thrown. She couldn't tell who it was-it all happened too quickly.

A circle of people surrounded the fight, which was Rick and Daryl versus Shane and his groupies. It was people they knew. They were outnumbered, but it wasn't important. Glenn, Michonne and Tara watched helplessly, knowing trying to get between them wouldn't help. There was panic and adrenaline pulsing through each of their veins, just waiting to pop.

They played, dancing around each other before it really started to get serious. Daryl stepped back, breathless and out of energy as he watched what took place with wide, terrified eyes. His jacket was disheveled and his smokes were all over the place. He was done with the fight, but Rick had gotten Shane Walsh on the ground and was going all out. The pounding didn't let up, and soon enough, Shane couldn't even talk to tell Rick to let up. This was no play fight. This time it was packed with intention and deadliness.

"Rick, stop it!" he heard someone yelling and pulling on his shoulders desperately. He knew it was Michonne, but his pulsing mind couldn't register it in the heat of the moment. "You're killing him! Please!" she yelled out, tears streaming down her face.

People were screaming all around the place, but he might as well have been deaf. Glenn watched the whole thing. He was so terrified he couldn't speak. The cheering and screaming on either team died down and the crowd grew silent. People looked around in worry before dispersing back to other areas of the carnival or leaving altogether. There were no weapons pulled out-yet-but inevitably, people were scared to watch.

Eight people remained. Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Michonne, Tara, Shane, Lori and Jeremy-who Glenn had somehow just noticed. This dream was becoming far too real for him to take. There was vengeance in Jeremy's deep-set eyes and somehow, Glenn seemed to be the only one who saw him in the shadows by one of the trash cans. Lights still illuminated the place, but no one seemed to be able to see anything outside their peripherals.

Lori couldn't talk either as she watched her ex-boyfriend strike her boyfriend's face nearly to death-hands put over her face in disbelief and inaudible sobs escaping her parted lips. Tears dripped down everybody's stunned faces. The look in Rick's stormy eyes was inhuman-enraged and sparked up. Pure violence danced around his dilated pupils. The wonder was gone, just like that.

Neither Daryl or Michonne or Tara or anybody who tried could pry him off could do it as he relentlessly pounded into Shane Walsh's face-knocking out teeth and dark blood in all directions. There were years of pent up anger and pain behind each punch. This was about more than just him messing with Glenn.

Out of nowhere, something weird happened. His head started to get all dizzy and empty-right before he puked up the entire contents of his stomach right there onto the dirty ground.

The whole world was turning dark and the temperature dropped significantly. People turned into blurry shapes and soon enough, he couldn't see them at all. Police sirens sounded off in the background- _someone had called the police_. Out of nothing but purely thin oxygen, Rick promptly passed out.

* * *

 _Past_

" _You think he can hold on for long?" Shane inquired to his friends._

 _They held 12 year old Glenn just over the edge of the ferris wheel, his small body dangling and his legs kicking._

" _I said I was sorry!" he yelled up to them, his fingers holding on tightly and tears streaming down his face. "I won't do it again-promise, please!"_

" _I don't know, Junior Rhee.. I'm not sure if I believe you." Shane's gaze was teasing and ignorant. A fall like that would kill Glenn if he let go._

" _Don't panic. Don't panic," Glenn whispered to himself with his eyes tight shut. There were tremors going through his entire skeleton. His fingers wouldn't be able to hold onto the rail for much more time._

" _Okay," one of Shane's friends sighed out of pity, "Let him up, Walsh. The kid's had enough."_

 _They pulled him up and he instantly puked over the side. He held tightly onto the side of the car until they reached the bottom again. It was already starting to get dark when he trembled before his friends. They had seen the entire thing, watching and saying nothing so they wouldn't scare him into letting go._

 _Rick, Daryl and Michonne were pissed. They went off for two minutes and Shane Walsh was already trying to torture their younger friend._

" _Walsh!" Daryl called as Shane hopped out of the car proudly._

 _He sneered to himself before turning. "What do you want, Darlina? If it's about your little friend, I just gave him what he deserved for tryin' to get it with my girl. If he would've just-"_

 _A punch right to the jaw interrupted him, causing him to yell out in pain. Rick stood directly in front of him, his eyes wide and unforgiving._

" _Don't touch my friends ever again," Rick whispered through his teeth menacingly. At 14 years old, he had already developed quite the temper-especially when it came to threats from outsiders._

 _In that instant, he felt as though he were within and without-watching himself protect his friends-watching himself become upset about it._

 _Shane's friends started to step up to defend him, but Daryl shot them one single look which halted them instantly. Michonne watched, not saying a word as her lips were tightly pressed together._

 _Shane was blown away. The usually joyful, ecstatic Rick Grimes had transformed right there before his own two eyes. The kid was different._

* * *

 _They were eccentric-enigmatic, ineffable. They were unique._

' _Well I met an old man dyin' on a train, no more destination-no more pain. Well he said one thing before I graduate-never let your fear decide your fate. I say you kill your heroes and fly, fly, baby don't cry. no need to worry 'cause everybody will die. everyday we just go, go baby don't go. don't you worry we.. more than you know' kill your heroes, awolnation_

* * *

There were lots of pop culture influences present in this chapter which I think were important-I don't know if any of you were able to point them out. I can't wait to share the next installment with people-probably some time within the next week. Thank you. What did you think?


	8. Chapter 8: I Don't Want to Imagine It

I don't know exactly how triggers work but I'm putting kind of a trigger warning for this one.

The usual plus a bit more to it-proceed carefully.

* * *

Chapter 8: I Don't Want to Imagine It

 _Fractured dreams were like scattered memories. They wanted to line the pieces up. It was just too jumbled together. It was too difficult to see what was true and what wasn't._

 _Past_

" _Your dad do that to you?" Rick whispered from behind his popsicle, too afraid to bare witness to the inevitable 'yes'._

 _It was the second to last week of 8th grade. Rick and Daryl were at the ice-cream shop-the two of them were the only one's there today. They were skipping class together. The sky was pale blue and unbecoming for today. They sat on the one bench facing away from the ice-cream place and towards the woods._

" _Yeah." Daryl wouldn't say more, though there were tears shining in his eyes-the left one bruised up and nearly unnoticeable. With that one word, his voice trembled and the tears fell one by one until they were incessant._

" _I'm sorry," Rick whispered back instantly, "You don't have to talk about it you don't want to."_

" _Nah, it's okay," Daryl said back, wiping at his face profusely, "I did somethin' I wasn't 'posed to. That's it."_

 _The thought of asking what he had done didn't even cross Rick's mind. He knew that whatever it was-he didn't deserve to be physically abused for it. Daryl used his ice cream as an ice pack._

" _If you told my dad-"_

" _No!" Daryl yelled instantly, causing Rick's eyes to widen in shock. Even Daryl was taken back by it. "You won't do that. You have to promise me you won't tell, okay?"_

 _Rick thought for a moment before just nodding, unsure of what else to do. Daryl was persistent in keeping what his dad did to him a secret. He didn't want people to know about it. He didn't want looks of disgust or pity from people who didn't know him. He didn't want to think about the possibilities that could occur if people knew. Rick understood that-but it still hurt to have to keep it to himself. He was one of the only people who knew about it._

" _It could've been worse, Daryl," Rick said, not looking Daryl's way but straight across the road at the seemingly unending woods. "He could kill you if he gets upset enough. Your brother's in fuckin' prison, Daryl. It's just you in that place-you don't have anyone to protect you."_

 _Rick sounded harsh and angry, and there were tears to prove it. Deep down, he was just worried. He didn't want to be the jerk who outed his best friend's domestic abuse, but he didn't want it to get worse either._

" _I know." Daryl's bottom lip trembled as he forced himself to look away from his best friend's profile. He needed a distraction. "You got me out here lookin' like a pussy."_

 _Rick shook his head in disbelief before turning back towards him. His eyes were icy and entirely too focused. "You think it's a joke?"_

 _Daryl sighed impatiently before pushing the make-shift ice pack into one of his pained, tense shoulders. "You know I don't think that."_

" _Then why?"_

" _There's some things you just wouldn't understand, Rick. Okay?"_

* * *

Present

The morning of July 22:

It was a untroubled day-unlike the day just before. It was pouring outside, the drops of rain hitting the bricks of the building in a way that more resembled pounding fists. It was interminable in the way it poured.

"You knew him too?"

"I did, unfortunately," Daryl answered sadly, "He used to sell to me too before I got out of it. The name's Dwight."

Michonne pondered it for a moment-but she didn't recognize the name Dwight. She'd never even heard of it in passing. "You think Rick's still buying from him too?"

"I know he is," Daryl said instantly. Then his voice got impossibly lower as he whispered: "He's the only drug dealer within miles of this place. He's definitely the one."

Michonne looked around the mostly empty hospital waiting room in paranoia. It was bright white and quiet as usual. She was nearly certain nobody was overhearing their talk, but she wanted to be one hundred percent positive.

"..I was just doin' the basic stuff, you know? Like pot and that shit. But Rick-he wanted to do more. He wanted to take it the whole way."

The two of them waited for the nurse to give them the okay. Rick was alright, but they couldn't see him yet. They needed to get phone-call permission or written documentation.

"Okay. It's just important that-"

Suddenly, one of the doors to the left burst open and out came the nurse-promptly interrupting their talk. They were both weary, but they were determined to stay awake for this part. Daryl and Michonne stood instantly, their hands shoved into their pockets nervously.

"I got a call from a Jeffrey Grimes just a moment ago-says he's Rick's older brother?"

"Yeah," Michonne breathed out in relief, though her lip remained between her teeth and her hands continued to tremble from inside her pockets. "That's him. Can we please see him now?"

The nurse looked skeptical, but she ushered them forward before getting back to work. "Room 200. It's second to last door to the left."

"Thank you," Daryl murmured before they both wobbly headed that direction, not sure exactly what would be waiting for them on the other side of those metal doors.

* * *

The afternoon of July 22:

"You're not invincible, you know. You can get hurt too. It could've been a lot worse for you two," Michonne whispered sternly, nodding towards Daryl who was knocked out in the second chair. His injuries were minimal, but they were still present. Rick's were worse.

They were the only ones in the hospital room-including Rick who had just woken up. His face was bandaged with medical tape and he could feel the pain coursing through almost every part of his body. Karma was an unrelenting force.

"Try not to move too much, okay? It's just for a couple hours until they get everything worked out."

The person laid up in the hospital bed ignored the words spoken-he was too panicked-too distracted. "Did I kill 'im?" he whispered sadly, and it tore right into Michonne's heart strings. She wanted to be upset with him, but it was increasingly difficult to do.

"No, sweetie," she whispered back, "You didn't kill him. But you did knock a couple of his teeth out."

Rick laughed to himself-but it wasn't a humored laugh, it was an ironic one. It was an ' _I'm not going to prison_ ' laugh.

"Where is he?" Rick asked sullenly.

"He's here too-down the hall I think. His condition is a lot worse than yours," Michonne sighed out before putting her hands back into her pockets, "You were lucky this time."

"I bet you wish you still lived in New York, huh?" Rick asked as he turned to her. His eyes twinkled a bit and she tried her best not to let her lips upturn.

"Nah. It's not as great as everybody pretends it is. Besides, there are some people here who are pretty important to me."

"You wouldn't go back?"

"I wouldn't trade that place for the world-but if there's anything in this world worth staying for, it's people. The place never mattered much." Her words said one thing but the look in her deep eyes said another. He wouldn't push it.

"You know what I just realized?" Rick asked out of the blue.

"What?" Michonne inquired, truly having no idea what he was about to say.

"Almost exactly this time a year ago we were here together. I think it might even be the same room." He somehow managed to look impressed with it.

"It's not something I like to think about too much," Michonne deadpanned. She knew he was just trying to break the inevitable tension, but it was unbreakable. It wouldn't budge even an inch. "I didn't like having to lie to your parents either, you know."

It was quiet for a while. An uncomfortable silence. The only sound was Daryl's faint snore through parted lips. He was tired out of his mind after what happened at the carnival. The carnival which was supposed to be wonderful but ended up being tragic and life-altering for a lot of people involved.

"What are you doing, Rick?" Michonne whispered despondently. "You've been distant. You haven't been acting like yourself-I look at you sometimes and it's like you're worlds away from us."

He thought about it for a while before a frown came upon his plump lips. "I don't know. I don't know what came over me-it was like I left my body yesterday."

"Well," Michonne began immediately, "You gotta knock it off somehow. You can find a way- _we_ can find a way. And if we don't, _I'm still with you_. You don't have to do this by yourself."

Though he knew it was wrong, he was immensely pleased that she said _we_ and not _you_. She still saw the two of them as a team.

And for the first time in over 20 hours, Rick smiled at the thought-and he could've sworn he saw just the tiniest upturn of the lips from the person he spoke with. She sat watching him, looking tired and young and beat up and perfect all at once.

It was then Rick noticed the absence of certain people. "Where's Glenn? And Tara? What about my parents? I know someone called the police."

"Glenn texted me saying he got in trouble with his parents-they didn't want him to come see you," she frowned before continuing, "We drove Tara home after it was all over. She was so upset she could barely walk back to the truck with us.. The police-well, your dad showed up."

Rick's eyes widened as he sat up, causing both he and Michonne to wince as he pulled at the tubes in his arm a bit too hard. "What?"

"Jeff had to stop your dad from killing you, he was so pissed off. I think you're lucky you passed out before he got there."

"Damn it," Rick groaned before rubbing at his tired eyes, "I'm gonna be in so much trouble. Where are my parents now?"

"Your dad was so pissed he didn't want to be anywhere near you, so he had one of his partners drive you over to the hospital. Daryl and I drove some people home before we eventually came here too."

"How bad was it?" Rick asked. He had to know.

Michonne sighed deeply, preparing for what she was about to say. "I know why you did it, but it was still wrong, you know? I'm not going to tell you your intentions weren't in the right place. I know that isn't true. But you took it too far, Rick. I think a couple more punches would've killed him. You got him in the throat too. To be honest with you, it was _scary,_ Rick. You were wild-out of control. None of us have ever seen you do anything like that before."

Michonne's eyes were sad-weary as she talked, but Rick didn't interrupt. He deserved it.

"Daryl was there too. He threw some punches."

 _Point taken_.

Michonne scoffed in disbelief, "It was different with Daryl and you know it. Daryl was being defensive and you were playing offense. It was too dangerous-it looked like you were trying to kill him. People were _scared of you_." For some reason she felt the need to emphasize the point twice, trying to get it through.

"You scared of me too now?" Rick's voice held an octave he'd used maybe twice since she'd know him. It had been a while.

"I will never be scared of you, Rick. It isn't possible.. But I do think you should see some type of doctor for your _problems_. The drugs and otherwise.. and I think I should too." The last part was whispered, but he picked up every word of it.

Rick looked panicked for a moment, trying to find anything to look at that wasn't her. The window to the left. The blank, white wall of the ceiling. "We shouldn't talk about it here-"

"We _need_ to talk about it. You know we do," Michonne interrupted. It wasn't cold, but it wasn't exactly what a person would call warm. It was a warning, and it was one of deep importance. "I know withdrawal is tough for you-I don't even want to imagine it. But I also know that you've been on it too. I know you overdosed."

Rick bit his bottom lip uncomfortably, veins pulsing at just the thought of the drugs he took often. "Was it that obvious?"

"Yeah, it was pretty obvious.. puking, passing out-usually things people on intoxicating drugs do." Michonne tilted her head up in ponderment for a moment. "Well, at least that's what I think I know. Otherwise, the internet is useless."

"It's getting pretty tough for you, too. I can tell."

Michonne smiled sadly, shaking her head as if to rid the unwelcome thoughts. "Yeah.. did we really go weeks noticing it and not saying anything?"

"We should probably work on that," Rick whispered.

Michonne got a weird feeling deep in her stomach. She scooted the chair up until it was at his bedside, grabbing his bigger, yet still thin hands in hers. His knuckles were bruised and his injuries looked even worse up close. The dried up blood from yesterday was still all over the place. "We will."

"It's your outlet, right?" she asked, her voice somewhat desperate, "Well, I got mine too."

"You're perceptive," Rick thought out loud, "You know a lot about what I've been doing, but I know about what you've been doing too. You've been quite the insomniac at my place."

Another silence fell down as they sat together, listening to the rain outside continuing to pound on the window. It wasn't painful or happy, it was just dull.

A little while afterwards, she leaned forward to press a kiss to his temple. "I don't want to lose you, Rick. It takes so many people, _please_ , don't let it take you with it too," she whispered, tears forming in her warm eyes as she looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world. He felt like he didn't deserve it. "The people in your life, all of us, we don't to lose you. Definitely not to some white powder. We'd be devastated if we lost you to it."

Rick didn't know what to say. He was disgusted with himself. Seeing her eyes tear up was one of the worst parts of it, but knowing it was his fault had to take the number one spot. He wanted to listen to every word people told him-but sometimes, the drugs were just louder. They deceived him into thinking they were the number one priority in his life. They convinced him he couldn't live without them.

"You won't," Rick whispered truthfully, leaning in to be closer to her, "I can't promise you I'll stop-you know that part. But I promise you I'll try to."

Just then. Daryl began to stir awake. They looked to the clock on the wall and saw to both of their surprises that 2 whole hours had passed. They spent them talking and just saying nothing for a while.

Michonne wiped at her tears before pushing the chair back against the wall, pulling away from Rick, much to his despise.

Daryl saw that Rick was awake and tired eyes got just a little brighter. "You okay?"

"Yeah.. yeah. I'm okay."

Daryl smiled-with his teeth, and Rick smiled back just the same way. Michonne got up and left the room to give the two of them time alone to talk. She understood the need for two people to be on their own together for a while. It was a painful afternoon-but at least no one had been killed yet.

* * *

Water tower. 2:00 AM:

It was just Rick, Michonne and Daryl tonight. It was peaceful. Undetermined. Possibly too much.

"His parents really got him on lockdown, huh?"

"Yup," Daryl responded, looking Rick's way. "He said it'll probably be a while before we see 'im again. They probably took 'is phone too."

"They don't usually punish him for a long time," Michonne added. "I don't know. It's just kind of weird."

"Yeah." was all Daryl said back. None of them were particularly in the mood for talking.

The past couple of days were terrifying and all over the place. The one thing they all wanted to do was go up to the water tower. It'd been weeks since the last time. None of them had to ponder the idea for long as they left the hospital together, avoiding parents and obvious looks from other people around town. It was just too much. So they fled to the woods with one less person than usual, hoping it would bring them any type of peace.

Daryl said something out of the blue. It was something they'd been waiting a while to hear about. "I left home a while back."

They knew and he knew they did, but he still wanted to talk about it. It was time to. "Back at that place-it really fucked with my head, you know? I felt sick all the time. I felt like I had to watch my back all day just in case."

There were things that were incredibly difficult to talk about and then there were things that _needed_ to be talked about. Otherwise-they would swallow people whole without thinking twice. There were things from the past with the incredible and undying power to harm you in the present too. There were things people did that would never fade away into unimportance. Because love meant unconditional forgiveness, but life meant not forgetting what took place in the past.

"It's good you left. You shouldn't ever go back to that place." It was Michonne who said it. She felt it all in the moment and she knew they did too.

"I won't," Daryl replied instantly, "A buddy of mine from the shop is letting me stay at 'is place for a while. I'm workin' it out."

Michonne tapped Daryl's jaw. He leaned into the welcomed touch.

Just like that, it was dead silent again as they looked out towards the woods. You could still smell the water from earlier and taste it on the tip of your tongue.

Rick lay the top of his head against one of the metal rails and looked down. It was woods and tiny houses and youthful, endless water. It all looked so insignificant from up there.

"I think my parents are getting divorced," Rick whispered into the wind. Michonne and Daryl turned to him-neither of them truly shocked. "I overheard them talking about it a couple days ago. They were talking about who would take Judith." He sounded sad and disturbed. Then he sounded pissed off too.

"I don't think they ever really loved each other-they had Jeff together and so their parents told them to get married. They felt obligated to. It was a different time. They don't even talk-I can't even think of the last time they did let alone kissed or touched. They didn't even tell us. It was all pretend. The whole damn thing was pretend."

Michonne rested a gentle hand on his shoulder, and they were both surprised when he winced at the feeling. He didn't even realize he was crying until she did that. The drops of water fell and disappeared, but his sorrow didn't.

Daryl watched from the other side of Michonne, wanting to offer him words of comfort but truly having none in the moment. He couldn't even remember if there was a time his own parents were ever happy. It there was a time his dad even pretended to be a good husband to his deceased mother. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and began to smoke it after lighting it up. They all had their ways.

"And the drugs?" Rick said, "It's like they have this hold on me and I can't let go of it, I don't _want_ to let go of it. It's painful when I don't take them-It's like they own my body and my mind too. I think unpredictably and I can't remember certain things. It's terrifying," Rick whispered, "I don't know what to do."

They couldn't speak after that. The admission was something Michonne and Daryl had already known subliminally, but they profusely didn't want to imagine it. It was like they were watching him transform from a kid to a grown man just like that. The look behind his cerulean eyes was much older than 18 and much more informed about the world.

"Think we should go back down soon? To the woods?" Michonne asked them both tenderly. She knew for the time being she was the only one with thoughts that weren't insane. She had to protect theirs too. The thought of jumping at a time like this was too present, but she had to push through it.

"Yeah."

That was it. They were missing a friend and they were missing positivity. The difference was, it absolutely felt real. The happy world was the dream now. The water tower failed this time. It didn't offer them it's usual protection.

* * *

Rick's parents' house. 4:00 AM:

"I've been thinking through a lot of things." Michonne faced the window. Rick lay in the bed just a couple yards away, listening intently. "I think maybe I'll move back in with my mom soon. You know, since my dad's in prison now, I don't really have anything to worry about."

"Yeah?" Rick tried to sound as casual as possible, but it didn't work. He was unimpressed and it was too obvious.

"He's been calling me on the phone. I didn't tell you that til just now, but he has."

Rick was up instantly. "What does he want?"

"I guess he just wants to talk," she sighed tiredly, resting her head up against the window pane, "But I haven't answered yet, so, I don't know."

" _Yet_? Michonne-"

"I don't want to fight with you right now, Rick. I just thought you should know," she deadpanned, "I think you should also know that my depression's gotten worse."

Rick's eyes softened at that, looking down before coming to stand right in front of her near the second-floor window. He wanted to listen since he was able to truly hear her thoroughly now.

"I'm taking the pills now too. I tried to-tried to _do something_ the other week I think-you know. It didn't work-but just knowing that I tried to was scary enough. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be upset. I knew you'd talk me out of it."

"What makes you think I'd be able to?"

"I know you would."

Rick's icy eyes grew more intense as more words were spoken. "Did they work at all?"

"I don't know-I don't really feel any different."

The pieces came together just like that-in that instant of time. "You tried to kill yourself?" It was a question, but he already knew the answer to it.

"I don't know if I'd call it-"

"Michonne. Depression isn't a joke and neither are those pills."

"You think I don't know-Yeah, well, neither is doing heroin or cocaine of whatever the hell it is you're taking now." She was frustrated and pissed off. The way he acted like he knew everything at times like this really peeved her. It got under her skin just enough to be tender.

He continued to stare her down, not threatened or affected by her words in the least. At least that's what his poker face told her.

"What do you want me to say, Rick? I wanted to kill myself so I tried to? You want me to show you the marks the knife left too?"

Rick's eyes widened, his heartbeat picking up. "Why? Was it because I overdosed?"

Those words pushed it past the already overflowed brink.

"You're a real piece of work-No, Rick!" she yelled, "You're projecting-it isn't about you. Would you stop this self-accusing bullshit you do all the time?! Why can't you understand that it has nothing to do with you?"

He took a step back at her outburst, eyebrows creased together as he took it all in. " _Who's_ projecting?" he asked with disbelief ever present in his voice which was raised several octaves, "You used to blame yourself for the things I did all the time. You still do. And you know it."

She didn't know what to say. It was true in every sense of the word. "You're trying to make it personal. It isn't."

"Well, you're making it sound pretty personal, don't you think? Why would you even tell me if you were just going to get upset?" The wild look in his eyes was back just like that.

"You don't know anything about my position, you're just a priss who thinks the world owes you because you screwed up one too many times! The only reason you get away with it is because your dad is the chief of King County's tiny police squad!"

He didn't say anything to that, though his wetted lips tightened as he stood impossibly taller. Those were the perks of a sinner with money, they looked disgustingly beautiful. His gaze turned back towards the glass window, too enraged to look at her though he knew her words were true.

Her eyes widened impossibly now. Michonne took a couple steps back as her own breathing picked up. This was an unusual occurrence between them yet neither of them could bring themselves to stop it before it got worse. It washed over them in tall waves.

"What did you do with my boy, huh? Where is he?" One push. Two pushes. "Because you're not him. I don't know you."

The words stung like hell. He knew he deserved every one of them. Slowly, he turned back to face her words-the intensity all he could see through his dizzy vision. The tough girl he'd known since he was a kid had turned into a tough woman who used her power on him now. She turned the tables right over. It was just the two of them. There was nobody there to stop the fight from increasing in intensity. Not Glenn or Daryl or anybody else. They had to pull up their pants and deal with it themselves.

"Is that all you got to use?" His body was shaking violently-kind of the way it did before he jumped on top of Shane and knocked him out cold.

"You can't punch your way out of everything!" It was an outburst. It was using words just to talk. "What are you gonna do? Are you gonna punch me in the face until I lose teeth like you did to Shane Walsh? Do you want to be like my dad? Like _Daryl's_ dad?"

Rick looked genuinely disgusted, and for a moment, she thought she saw the past him twinkle behind his desperate, piercing eyes. But it was just a moment and the way he used to be all that time ago was gone. The jokes he used to tell. The way his eyes would brighten up when he was too happy.

His voice softened then, but the time was too short. "Are you kidding? You know I would never touch you that way."

"Do I?"

 _Implications. Pathetic._

Those two words were enough to light the spark back up. "You're unbelievable. He deserved what I did to him-I thought you understood that!"

"Was any of it true? You promising you'd try?"

He pounded his injured fists into the wall near by, having to physically take it out on anything he possibly could. He wanted to throw something, but there was still a part of his mind that knew it would scare her and that was the last thing he wanted to do. She was already overwhelmed and there were already tears shining in her intelligent eyes. "What the hell is your problem?! Why can't you see it the way I do?!"

Her body was trembling as they yelled at each other. She couldn't take it. It wasn't a pretty sight. It wasn't a win. "Just get the fuck out!"

"This is my house!"

They were both tired of this place and they were taking it out on each other. They were temporarily blinded by the intense torment and distress they felt. The place was toxic and they were taken with it. The importance between them took an unexpected turn.

"Fine-I'll go! I should've never agreed to leave with you. I should've just fuckin' stayed at my own place."

She started to grab things off the floor in a quick-paced manner-shirts, jeans, anything she knew was definitely hers.

"Yeah-because you were just so much happier in that place!" he yelled as she walked around the bed, "Maybe you should've fuckin' stayed there with your piece of shit dad and your careless mom!"

This performance was way too real. Too physical and too personal. She looked at him then-and the look in her eyes broke his heart into a billion tiny pieces. They didn't know eachother in the moment. They were two people who shouldn't have been in close proximity until things were okay and cooled down. They were trying to protect one another but instead, they ended up pushing each other out. Neither of them took too kindly to it. It was all pent up for too much time and unintentional.

There were words of apology just on the tip of his tongue, but his lips were tight and his throat hurt far too much. With one last look, she grabbed the pills off the dresser along the bag clothes and she left through the door. Rick couldn't move. At this point, there were pillows and dvd cases scattered all over the floor. He didn't know who had done it or when they had been thrown out of place. Though, he listened to her stomp down the stairs obnoxiously, he listened to her feet hit the pavement of the porch.

It took only 20 seconds for him to decided to go after her. By the time he got outside, he could see her from behind as she stood at the end of the driveway, her shoulders shaking violently as she cried hard into her thin, trembling fingers. The tears overflowed like a waterfall. She wore no shoes as the water from the afternoon dripped between her open toes.

He approached her quickly from behind and she turned at the same instant they pulled each other tightly into a hug. The could feel the tremors and the trauma they shared.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," Rick repeated incessantly as he pulled her up into his arms tightly. She held on for dear life, soaking his t shirt with tears and snot. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I didn't mean any of those things I said."

He kissed her temple where it was pressed into him and just held onto her until the world and time slipped away into one. Until they were no longer upset. It had to be a good 20 minutes before they let go, or at least, it felt that way to the two of them.

She could barely talk, she was so upset. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean any of those words. I was just pissed off and I'm so sorry I took it out on you."

Tears shined in his eyes as he looked down at her. They dripped down like an overflowing ocean, the blue in his orbs dull and bright at the same time in an ironic oxymoron. She had managed to make herself look so tiny-so vulnerable-the way he felt inside and probably looked outside too.

"I'll do it if you will," he spoke up through his trembling lips. "I'll see a doctor if you do too."

Her eyes brightened a bit at that, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I will.. You're the most important people in the world to me, and I'm so sorry if you ever thought you could be anything ugly to me."

Her lip upturned slightly and a dimple took its place. "You too."

The word _promise_ wasn't present this time, but it was an implied power. It was a lot to take in. Their hearts were still beating with intensity and purpose. They felt weak standing there in the dimly lit driveway.

"I think-I think I'm just gonna walk home now, okay?" She said just above a whisper, placing her hands on his shoulders and pulling out of the tight hold. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. I think I just need a little while to myself."

"Tulip-"

"Please."

"Okay," Rick whispered faintly, truly letting her go now. He had to swallow back the knot in his throat before it became too painful.

He saw the lights inside turn on through his peripheral vision. The yelling had woken up his parents, but he couldn't bring himself to care. The one important thing to him in the moment was disappearing, piece by piece. A year hadn't changed much between them. Things broke and people fell a part.

They pretended things were okay, but they were still just as careless and reckless as they were before. It was something they'd been able to push into hiding up until now. Eventually, the past would seep into the present to remind them what was truly going on between them. It was inevitable. It was tragic to watch kids become adults just like that. It was tragic to watch innocent people be sucked into the bad intentions of the rest of the population. The place was a war zone. It was destroying people.

He watched her walk away, their yelling match still painfully resounding inside his skull. It took it's toll. It was the first time they'd truly, legitimately yelled at each other-and it'd nearly become physical. He just watched her walk away until she disappeared from view. He felt like his heart would jump into his throat and out. The tears were present and incessant the second she tore her watery gaze away from his. The twinkle to the stars was dim. The whole world was dim and freezing.

Tiny breaths left his parted lips, though he may as well have been suffocating on the oxygen. Somewhere deep in his illegible thoughts, he wondered if they would be able to put the pieces together this time. It didn't seem possible from where he stood in the soaking wet driveway, all alone and out of positive ideas about the universe. His dad had taught him about defense and knives years ago, but nothing in the world would've prepared him for this.

* * *

 _It's different every time. If you think you're prepared - you're not. It will be so painful you won't know what to do. But you have to keep walking._

 _Will you tell us about all the times you walked away from an opportunity because you were afraid of something you couldn't see?_

' _The day is incomplete, the thoughts of total defeat, I don't know what is happening to me, or if I'll die 'cause I just never sleep.. I've lost control, please save me from myself.._

 _I'm just a bigger baby me, acting smart, oh what irony.. precious transient, schizophrenic bliss.. I've lost control, please save me from myself..' insomnia, IAMX_

* * *

Things are pretty sad for the King County kids. Thoughts?


	9. Chapter 9: Too Obvious

I'm trying to update with the schedule every week. I work pretty often, though. Thank you for the incredibly nice words! They truly mean the world to me.

* * *

Chapter 9: Too Obvious

July 22. 8:00 PM:

The sun was just beginning to go down. It sunk down in the sky like a ship at a wild sea. Glenn watched it the whole way. He tried not to look into Jeremy's eyes as they sat outside, waiting for the alpha's next command. The tint to the sky was pretty. The twinkle to the stars was dim, but it was still present. He tried to focus solely on that one thing. It wasn't any warmer out than the last time they'd done this. Jackets were zipped up and lips were tight.

"You know where we are?" Jeremy asked, his dark eyebrows lifted in inquisition.

Glenn's thoughts were interrupted. "I don't," he sighed out, just on the pinnacle between dramatic and insanity, "I've only left King County twice."

"Twice your whole life?" Jeremy wondered out loud, his intimidating voice teasing in its tone. "That's pretty sad, kid. Bein' a part of the wolves means you get to travel. I'd be more excited about it if I were you."

Glenn finally looked Jeremy in the face, though he wished he hadn't decided to. "You _kill people_. What's exciting about that?"

"You try to paint us as these bad people, kid," Jeremy scoffed, seemingly unoffended, "We're not-yet you keep trying to. The difference between us and others is when we put people down, they _stay_ down. We kill the people society's too afraid to kill. We do the dirty work the police won't do and we don't even get any thanks for it."

" _Thanks?_ " Glenn pondered.

Police killing people wasn't something he liked to imagine, but he knew it was a prevalent, ingrained part of today's society. It was a problematic ritual that he wasn't about to talk about. Jeremy's pride was too obnoxious and too ignorant to know those things. _They do_ , he wanted to say. But in self preservation, he decided not to.

He wasn't going to pretend to know everything about justice, but he wasn't going to pretend killing people was okay either. Especially not the innocent ones who wouldn't be told it was their last day on the planet. He couldn't fathom the idea that someone would thank people for taking out others. He couldn't possibly fathom that people deserved to die, even if they were bad or had done terrible things in the past.

Out of nowhere, Jeremy's voice became low and intimidating in a newly intense way. "We won't forget what your friend did to Walsh," he whispered, "He's lucky he wasn't killed. We would have to deal with it."

Glenn knew exactly what _dealing with it_ was to the wolves. He gulped deeply. None of the water he'd had to drink had helped to distill his unshakable fear. This wasn't a joke and he was finding that out more and more as time passed. Plus, Shane was still in the King County hospital, thanks to the severe injuries and the knocked out teeth. It would take time for him to get out.

"They wondering where you are?" Jeremy asked, implying Glenn's friends. The ones he had seen look out for him just the day before.

"I don't think so," Glenn spoke up instantly, "I told them I'd be with my parents for a while."

Jeremy's poker face was ever present.

"You want some of this?" he asked casually as if he hadn't just threatened another person's life. He held out a pinch of weed, his palm wide open for the whole world to see.

"What?" Glenn asked, horrified. "Uh, no.. no thank you. I'm okay."

Jeremy shrugged his wide shoulders before rolling up the weed to smoke it. "Suit yourself."

Just then, Alpha finally emerged from wherever it was she disappeared off to. Glenn and Jeremy were still where she had left them along with a couple other young teens. Today's mission would be as discreet as possible. The alpha didn't want people wondering about a group with a few too many people wandering around during the sunset.

"Okay," she whispered, towering over the boys, "It's time to go."

There weren't many people around, maybe two walking down the sidewalk in the parkway. Glenn didn't know what place they were or what town they were in, but it definitely wasn't King County. Nothing looked at all familiar around the place. The drive had been at least 2 hours. Wherever they were, it kind of looked like New York City. Though that place was a distance away and they hadn't taken a plane.

"Where were you?" Glenn asked her as walked to be in front of them, taking the temporary power she'd given to her second in command back.

The question was met with a couple terrified glances from some of the other young wolves. Asking questions like that was prohibited. It was an unspoken, yet well known, rule.

She just chuckled, though her lips didn't upturn even once. Tucking an unknown item into her pants, she spoke. It was still unusual to hear her voice out in the open. "You're a unique one, junior. Most of these kids are too scared to ask things like that, they'd piss their pants before they did."

Her voice held a strange octave that he couldn't quite place. Glenn tried to observe as much as he possibly could about this unique person. The woman appeared to be in her late twenties, give or take. She was power driven-there was something she wanted deeply but wouldn't tell others about.

While standing before the tiny group of wolves she'd picked for the outing, she lifted up her 'public' mask for two seconds, but that was enough time for Glenn to see that she was bald underneath it. The public mask was simple and a lot less scary than the one she'd worn in the warehouse just weeks prior.

She seemed to think things were funny when they weren't a joke. With pale skin and pouted lips she wore proudly. Tall and thin. She seemed intelligent. It was a deadly type of intelligence. It was written all over the way she held herself. There was definitely something she wasn't telling people. It was something she didn't want people to know.

With that, Alpha didn't answer the question, but she nodded in a way that let Glenn know she was impressed with him. He felt Jeremy tense beside him, the reason unknown to him. He was just the omega-the second in command. Perhaps he had a problem with it.

"I've got whisperers checking out the whole area as we speak," Alpha said, directing her attention to Jeremy and then to the rest of the group of fourteen.

 _Whisperers?_ Glenn thought. He'd ask about it at a later time, probably after the mission was done with. It would most likely be a while from what he knew, missions could take anywhere from hours to days.

They all nodded, pulling out their knives in preparation.

Alpha sighed out in impatience. They would need more training until they knew what to do. "Put those away, please. What we're doing right now, I promise you won't be needing those."

They obliged, and Glenn found himself letting out a breath he didn't know he had been holding for a while. Hopefully, people wouldn't be killed during this outing. It was traumatizing enough witnessing it the first time. It was worse the second time.

From what Glenn knew, the people were innocent. But apparently, the story went deeper than that. Whether he believed it, he wasn't sure yet.

"The only way this operation will work is if you pay close attention," Alpha whispered somewhat harshly. The boys nodded vigorously. "We need to make it up to that building over that way." Alpha pointed to a tall building just past the cover of the trees. It was a good 200 yards away. It was what looked like a heavily populated area during the day.

The gaze in her usual, wide eyes was intense. They were all that could be seen from under her thin, black mask. She turned back to look at the rundown gas station they were situated outside. There were zero people around now. It was time. The water break was over.

One by one, the wolves made their way back into the woods, Alpha at the lead. They ducked low when they had to and stopped walking when it was necessary. Glenn widened his eyes just as his pupils did. The further through the woods they went, the darker it became. The more difficult it became to see what was in front of them.

"What that friend of yours did to Walsh, it wasn't okay," Alpha whispered, her voice void of any type of emotion.

Glenn jumped, unaware that she had walked up beside him. She was just too good at being stealthy and going unnoticed by people. "I know," Glenn spoke truthfully. Yet, he wasn't going to say he thought what happened at the supposedly wonderful carnival was wrong.

"I know he was trying to protect you," Alpha whispered as though she had been there and seen the whole thing. For all Glenn knew, she was. It should've been impractical, but knowing her, it wasn't. "But we do too. You know what we do? We defend our own. We _protect_ our own."

The threat was obvious and ever present. It was even scarier the second time around. Jeremy's threat seemed idle-unimportant compared to the low octave the alpha used. Her tight voice never wavered in its present intimidation.

Though his veins still pumped wildly, it wasn't as prevalent as it was the previous week. Before Glenn could respond, she was gone again, probably to go back to leading the group. He didn't see which direction she walked off to, but it was quick and precise either way. She truly was poised to be nothing but a leader, one way or another.

He was worried about those words. The potential ones about his friends which were very much real, but he had to force himself not to think about it for the time being. They were out of harm's way for now. He tore his thoughts up. He couldn't afford to puke again. There was nothing left in his nearly empty stomach to come up. So he kept his head up and kept walking.

Glenn tightened his back and straightened his shoulders out. He thought of the time he wouldn't be afraid to do this. Theoretically, it was in the near future. He would have to push his instincts aside-the pure ugliness of the world was right in front of him. It was obnoxiously waved directly in front of his pale face. He'd have to use weapons and he'd have to play offense. It was a part of who he was now. The second time was going to be the time it worked out.

* * *

Present. King County:

 _Hey Daryl_ , Rick texted _You at work?_

 _Yeah,_ Daryl texted back almost in the same instant. Daryl always had his phone with him at work.

 _Well, I'm coming. Be prepared for a drive out._

 _Okay,_ was sent back two seconds later. It worked just like between them, it always had, even when they were kids in junior high.

With that, Rick grabbed his jacket and keys off the dresser. He quickly walked towards the door, the keys jingling the whole way.

* * *

"What's up?" Daryl asked as he wiped grease onto his work pants. It was pointless.

Other workers watched Rick warily. Word spread around town fast. They all knew what happened and they all knew what he had done too. The two of them ignored the looks they were used to.

"I just wanted to see how you were doin'," Rick answered truthfully, "Maybe we can drive out to get burgers or somethin'? I know you like that place outside town."

Though some parts of him were still black and blue, he seemed okay to others and they turned away. Daryl could see straight through the pretense. It was invisible as far as he knew. His lips were parted in ponderment. His watchful eyes gazed at his worn out best friend for a while before he let out a short, tired breath.

Daryl peeked down at his watch, noting that it was 2:00 and almost his lunch break. "I'll tell you what," he began, taking off his work shirt and pulling on his jacket, "I'll ask the boss to give me another hour off and have someone take my place."

Rick was surprised, yet he was pleased. It'd been awhile since it was just the two of them spending time together. There was the tiniest peek of his white teeth present, his plump lips upturned. "Yeah. Sounds good."

Daryl shot Rick a knowing look before heading towards his boss's office. There would definitely be a talk involved on their drive out of town.

* * *

"You look like shit, dude," Daryl said the instant the truck doors were shut. They precariously threw on their seatbelts, Rick in the passenger seat of Daryl's old truck.

"I know," he responded in spite of himself, wiping at his injured face. The picture couldn't have been painted more ironically if they tried to.

"What the hell did you two do?"

Rick's eyes widened in shock, but it only for a split second. Rick looked like a lost puppy looking for its parents. Of course Daryl would instantly know something was up between him and Michonne. It was bad. It was worse than bad.

"We might've yelled at each other a little," Rick whispered while looking out the window. It was an understatement. Daryl shook his head in disappointment, his fingers tightly gripping the wheel as they came to a stop just in front of a traffic light. "I said some pretty terrible things. We both did."

The streets were mostly empty, but that would soon change when they left the premises of King County. Daryl wasn't about to upset him further. He knew it took a lot just to say those words. There was a lot of pressure on the white clouds for the sky to maintain its usual pale blue.

There was an immeasurable amount of trust between the two of them. They had this way of getting the other to tell the truth without pushing too much.

"That's why you're with me right now, hiding out? You happy with yourself?" Daryl asked.

"What, you wouldn't believe I just wanted to see you?"

Daryl rolled his blue-grey eyes without looking his way, his upper lip turning up slightly. Rick groaned impatiently. "Oh yeah, I'm just thrilled. Can't you tell?"

"You can be a pompous dick sometimes, you know that?" Daryl pushed. He was only half joking, yet entirely unafraid to tell the truth. "You push her and she'll just push you right back. It's the way she is, you know that."

"Yeah, I do. Except this time, I pushed her all the way out," he said, trying to mask his weariness. The sadness was written all over his low voice.

Daryl sighed, already regretting this talk but knowing it was why Rick wanted to see him. Even if he only knew it subliminally. There was a pout upon his plump lips.

"You try to call her yet?"

"Nah," Rick said instantly, slouching in his seat, "She said she'd talk to me, so, I'll wait."

Daryl scoffed in disbelief, "Well, it could be a while."

"Yeah," Rick responded as he watched the woods whoosh by and disappear. They were finally out of town and it felt like dust and a huge weight had been lifted off their shoulders.

"Whatever you two were yellin' 'bout, just apologize to each other and make up, okay? It's weird to see you two like this. I don't imagine she's much better back at her parents' place."

"Yeah," Rick just said a second time.

It wasn't something he hadn't thought about, but she said she'd talk to him, and he held onto the promise. It was an impossible thought that she wouldn't call on the phone. He rested his head against the invisible window and shut his tired eyes for the rest of the drive out of town. Daryl took the cue to stop talking.

It had been weeks upon weeks since it was just the two of them out like this, so they were excited underneath the upset.

* * *

After a while, Daryl brought up the second inevitable topic. They sat inside the burger place, immersed by greasy burgers and too-large pops. They argued over who would pay for a while until Rick put his debit card between them, effectively putting an end to that discussion.

"You urges been pretty bad? You using?" Daryl whispered.

Rick wasn't surprised this time. They had to talk about it. Get it out in the open. His veined pulsed at the words, but he tried to ignore it as best he could.

"Yup." The pain was written on his tired face. Daryl knew the blue under his eyes wasn't from the physical fight with Shane Walsh.

"You got that tick again.. You keep twitching. Rick, just listen," Daryl said in an unusually soft way. Rick looked up at that with wide open eyes. "I should've never introduced you to that dick. I'm sorry." He spoke about Dwight with disdain, his hands tightening around the table. His smokes poked out of his jacket pocket, just like usual.

"It's okay," Rick shot back instantly, "You didn't know what would happen. I asked you to introduce us, remember? You were against it."

Daryl just nodded, still not impressed with himself. Watching his best friend being tortured and inhaled by intoxicating, dangerous drugs took a toll on him. He couldn't help but to think he could've prevented it from happening.

"Daryl, come on, seriously," Rick persuaded. "It's okay. It isn't a big deal."

"Yeah," Daryl sighed, still not truly accepting the words. "Thanks."

The fast food place was nearly full, something they definitely weren't used to seeing in their home town. People talked and laughed. Kids ran around the place. It was an impractical sight to them. Yet, it made things just a little better. Being out of that town made the world a little lighter and more enjoyable. In this place, nobody looked at them like they were outsiders. They just integrated with the other people.

"How much time we got left?" Rick asked as he practically consumed the last two bites of his double cheeseburger, washing it down with sprite. It was junk and they knew it, but they couldn't have been happier.

"It'll take at least 20 minutes to drive back. We still got just over an hour."

Rick relaxed at that, his tense shoulders finally returning to their usual position. They used the rest of the time to talk about things that weren't painful. They laughed about dumb jokes and ignored things that weren't important.

When they got back to town, Daryl dropped Rick off at home before heading back to work. During the departure, Daryl playfully punched Rick's jaw and told him to _get some damn sleep_. _You still look terrible_ , he said. Rick smiled before punching Daryl back, telling him he'd get some sleep when he took some time off work. It was their own way of saying _I love you_. It was their way of saying you're important to me and I want you to take care of yourself too.

 _Touche_ , Daryl said in response to the personal jab, driving off and back to work without another word. They knew that look-they'd seen identical ones many times over the past decade.

That was it. There was still the rest of the day to face and inevitably, Rick would have to talk to his parents.

* * *

What Rick was met with inside was practically a war zone. Jeff, who was supposed to be watching Judith was passed out in the living room recliner with some soccer game on tv.

Just when he thought his day couldn't get any worse, it did just that. Walking upstairs and knocking on Judith's door, he got no response.

"Judy?" he asked lowly, pushing the door open to find the decorated kid's room empty. His heartbeat started to quicken. If something had happened, someone would have to stop him from killing Jeff.

He walked towards his room on trembling legs, pushing the door open slowly. There she was, covered in white powder near his dresser. From head to toe. To her, it was just like a day at the park. Watching it transpire wasn't an option.

"Judith!" he yelled out in panic-which startled the 4 year old immensely. "You're not supposed to be in here!" he yelled, taking in the scene before him. His blood ran cold, his skull pounding profusely.

The pint sized, see-through bags were all over the place. She had gotten into his drug supply. The one he thought he had well hidden, though it had just been unknowingly discovered by a 4 year old. Panic was way too present at this point.

"Jesus.." he whispered, pulling at his hair and tightly shutting his eyes for a moment. He told himself not to be upset with her. She didn't know what she was doing and nobody was watching her. The impossible was possible just like that.

Tears shined in Judith's wide eyes. She didn't know what it was she was playing with and Rick hoped to god she hadn't tried to taste any of it. "I'm sorry," she said innocently, "I just wanted to play and Jeff was sleepin'. You were gone so I-"

Before she could finish the sentence, Rick was picking her up and taking her to the bathroom. He set her down on the counter, immediately wetting a washcloth and wiping her down. Tear slid down her cheeks. She knew they were in trouble. She was too intelligent for her own good sometimes.

"Judith," Rick began carefully after putting a new shirt and pair of pants on her, "I'm not upset with you okay? It's just that I've told a thousand times not to go in there without permission."

"I know," her voice trembled as she spoke, and it softened Rick up just like that. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "That.. _powder_ you playing with. You didn't try to put it in your mouth, did you?" She didn't realize how important her answer would be.

Rick felt like the worse older brother in the world. His _problem_ was getting way out of hand. This could've been much worse than it was if he didn't get home on time. He didn't want for it to touch Judith, physically or otherwise. She was too innocent and uninvolved.

"Uh-uh," she said instantly, causing Rick to smile so big it was painful. His teeth ached, but he didn't give one damn. She was okay and he would be able to handle it. Water and peroxide would work. "Mommy and daddy told me not to put things in my mouth unless they're edible." She smiled up at him proudly.

"That's my girl, Judy," he whispered before picking her up and taking her out of the bathroom. The pieces kept coming apart.

He tried to make his words sound as casual as possible as they walked down the narrow hallway. She didn't understand how important it was. "You can't tell our parents about this, okay? You can't even tell daddy. I'll get in trouble if you do."

Judith nodded, a determined look in her bright blue eyes. "Okay," she replied simply. Her tiny teeth were on full display. "I won't tell."

He felt like he had two lives, like he had a second identity people weren't allowed to know about. It was imperative that people didn't know, aside from Daryl and Michonne. Taking Judith's word for it wasn't exactly an option, but it was all he had to use for the time.

After Rick had gotten the white, powder cleaned up and put away, it was time to talk to his brother. The issue would be not bringing up the drugs. He was pinned to a philosophy he wouldn't be able to uphold.

* * *

"Jeff," he said, kicking his brother's leg. "Jeff! Wake up," he yelled a bit too loudly. Now that Judith was out of the picture, he was pissed off at his older brother's lack of care or watchful eyes.

"Huh?" Jeff asked, wiping at his wet eyes before yawning. There was a tiny bit of drool under his bottom lip. "What do you want?"

" _What do you want?_ " Rick mimicked, "Did you forget about watching Judith?"

"Uh-where is she? Is she okay?"

"She's fine," Rick deadpanned, "She's watching tv upstairs. I took care of it."

Jeff's eyes widened at that. "Oh, shit," he said, instantly sitting up and looking around for the time. "Mom and dad would kill me if they found out I fell asleep today. Please don't tell them, Rick. Please." His eyes were pleading and genuine.

Jeff had covered for Rick many times, so Rick wasn't about to screw him over. He also wasn't about to possibly expose his drug use to his parents. It was a win-win or a lose-lose.

"Fine," Rick sighed out for dramatic effect. He was never planning on telling their parents anything about the day's events. He just wanted to watch his brother sweat the way he did. "Okay."

"Thanks Richy," he said, standing up and slapping him on the back a little too hard.

"Don't call me that," Rick uttered out as Jeff walked into the kitchen. They didn't truly know anything about each other besides what they could physically see.

"Yeah, yeah," was all he got back. "I won't."

Wishes didn't come true these days. He was tempted to pick up the phone and dial up Michonne, but he wouldn't. He would wait instead. His parents would be home in a couple hours, and he'd have to hope Judith wouldn't talk and he'd have to tell his parents why Michonne was gone. He'd have to work out the doctor situation like he'd promised he would. It was a promise he intended to keep. Somehow, he'd have to do it without his parents knowing. Judith swore she wouldn't talk, but knowing her, it could've possibly just been a matter of time.

His eyes were icy and upset as he pondered the overwhelming thoughts. He waited for the phone to ring and he waited for his parents to get home from work. He desperately hoped the former would occur first. He stood looking out window in his second floor bedroom, the exact place he and Michonne had yelled at each other unintentionally less than 24 hours prior. It was still too painful to think about. It was a wreck, just like it was. He didn't even think about picking things up yet. But there were two things he was positive of. He wouldn't pass out. He wouldn't pretend the issues weren't there and taking over. It was all painful and too present.

* * *

July 22. 10:00 PM:

" _It's important that this is done right," Alpha whispered to the group of wolves. This was just before the operation incidentally turned upside down._

 _They came in through the window, which was open for some odd reason. The tall building was empty except for one man. He didn't see it coming at all. By the time Alpha was done with him, there were papers all over the office and a knife perforating out of the unidentified man's throat. Glenn told himself not to get used to seeing people killed. It wasn't who he was. Why they were in an office building, he didn't know. It was unusual._

 _The wolves wasted no time. "What do you know?!" Alpha yelled at the top of her lungs, slamming the man's tie into the desk and then his skull, "What do you know! Who do you work for?!"_

" _Please," the man begged tiredly, "I don't know what you're talking about, I swear. Please."_

" _Do I have to ask you again? It isn't so pretty the second time," she whispered deadly, pushing the man further into the desk. His breathing had reached its peek now._

" _Please," he professed. Ultimately, it was already over. "I told you, I don't know what you're talking about. It was just a late night at the office. I had to get some paperwork done."_

 _She pulled her mask down, not frightened in the least of people knowing her identity. "I want this to be the last face you see before I kill you. I want you to see what you took from me as you bleed out, slowly and painfully."_

 _The man's eyes widened, but before he could yell out for help, it was done. The knife did it's work and the man was dead, his eyes still wide open and his lips parted. His big, round glasses were crooked on his dead face. The metal just on the bridge of nose was bent up out of place. They would never be put to use again. His thin hands remained tied up behind his back._

" _Useless," Alpha ground out through clenched teeth while wiping the knife on her pants. "Just useless."_

 _The young wolves watched in shock, trembling where they stood against the twentieth floor window. The whole world was underneath them._

" _What?" she spit out angrily, watching the boys watch her back with parted lips. They instantly looked away, out the window or anywhere that wasn't towards the alpha._

 _As it turned out, the alpha fell down too. She was through the exit without uttering another word. Once the metal door was slammed shut, tears poured irrevocably from her eyes. They were unending and painful. She didn't sob, a sound didn't even escape through her lips, but the tears prevailed in water falls._

 _The boys were left waiting on the other side while she let out her pent up feelings outside. Some looked upset, others just looked used to it. Glenn seemed to be the only one who didn't know what her outburst was about. He couldn't stop thinking about the fact that another innocent person was killed because they didn't have the information the alpha wanted._

 _Jeremy looked down at him then, and the poker face was gone. In it's place were tired, sad eyes. "She wants to find the people who took her daughter two years back. Thinks they killed her, whoever they were."_

 _Jeremy allowed Glenn to ponder those words for a moment before continuing. He watched as his eyes widened. "The police wouldn't help her. They told her since it had been 48 hours, they were just looking for a body. It wasn't even a week later when they gave up. They stopped looking-just like that."_

 _Jeremy's own eyes teared up before he cleared his throat. That was that and it was out in the open now. It wasn't private anymore. It was obvious that tonight's mission was through. The woman was distraught and everybody could tell._

" _Who are you to her?" Glenn inquired._

" _It isn't important," Jeremy answered instantly. That was how the two of them left things for the evening._

 _Those were her intentions. The pieces to the intricate puzzle made so much sense now. She was killing people for her daughter. Whether she was alive or not, she wanted justice for her kid. Glenn was torn at this point. What she did was wrong, but her intentions were in the right place. Instead of just trying, she was doing. Even if doing meant killing people and collecting innocent young teens to help do her do those things. Being a wolf included torture and unending secrets. But further than that, being someone who lost a kid just changed you._

* * *

 _That was how we played it._

' _..you take a few pills in beverly hills, and if anyone asks you, you got a prescription.. you got an addiction, who do you think that you're fooling? john doe, I just want the john I know, once you put the drinks on hold, maybe you could come back home, john doe.. even if it's just to feel the response to a pill, maybe once, maybe twice, hundreds of times-without it, it's just harder to function at times. you tell yourself lie after lie 'til you get to the point where it's no longer private. people you work with notice the signs..' john doe, b.o.b. ft. priscilla_

* * *

punisher influences? yeah, definitely.


	10. Chapter 10: Wait

..

* * *

Chapter 10: Wait

The week directly after July 22:

' _I see you've been calling me dad, but for a lot of personal reasons, I don't pick up. I still haven't forgiven you for what you did, to be honest with you, I don't know if I ever will be able to. You hurt me. But more importantly, you hurt one of the most important people in the world to me and you weren't the least bit sorry about it. You manipulated me into thinking you were protecting me for years, when really, you were just causing me unnecessary pain. Physically and emotionally and every possible way in between. People like you don't change their ways. I know that now. Our paths are two different ones and they always have been. I don't want to see you and I don't want to hear your voice. Please stop calling me on the phone.'_

Michonne put the phone down with trembling hands, forcing herself not to let the tears fall as she waited and waited. It was almost the eighth month of the year and everything was still just as screwed up as it was in the past. Some of it was distant and some of it was just weeks old. The tears waterfalled down her face just at the thought of it. It was the week after the incident, yet she still couldn't bring herself to dial up the person she'd been thinking about for hours upon hours along with what seemed like days upon days.

She promised she'd call on the phone, but it was easier said than done. _Tomorrow_ was thrown out the window. She was nervous, and because of that, she was scared. It'd been years since there was this much tension between the two of them, and she'd lit the spark. She provoked an inevitable explosion of pain and unintentional words. Somehow, she felt numb to the pain and the yelling while also feeling every part of it. She felt it down to her soul as it ached on. The wetness dripping from her eyes began to dry up and her hands halted their trembling. It was time to do something, but she didn't know what. She didn't know which people to tell which parts or whether to at all.

Rick was gone and she was the one who walked away this time. People pushed him over the edge and now she was one of those people too. Daryl was increasingly sad and was trying to hide every part of it. Glenn was acting weird and unlike his usual self. And somehow, she put it all on herself. She watched people suffer and she couldn't help but to feel she had something to do with it. That her own sadness was seeping into others. The people she loved weren't really gone, but it profusely felt like it. The thoughts pounded through her head with no intention to let up.

Michonne looked to the pills thrown precariously onto her old dresser. They sat pathetically, mocking her purely with their unnecessary existence. She wanted to tear them up-destroy them with all the power she possessed. Yet, they remained untouched as she remained disturbed by their presence. Not even a whole week ago it was Rick's dresser the pills took their place on top of. The same dresser that held his drugs along with his insanity. It was useless to dwell on things that couldn't be done over, but it was the only thing that kept her from going insane too.

If she knew Rick at all, he was waiting by the phone, probably biting his knuckles and trying to stop the tick he often had. His teeth were knocking into themselves. He probably talked to Daryl and then went home to think things through.

"Yeah," she said out loud, shocking herself. It was the first word she'd uttered in nearly 20 hours.

It seemed like everything slowly killed people eventually. Drugs. Depression. PTSD. Overwhelmed minds and unsettled disputes. These were the things which plagued Michonne as well as the people she felt most protective over. Why was talking to people who were important to you one of the most difficult things in the world?

A knock at her bedroom door brought her out of thought. It was someone she'd been avoiding for weeks. She got up to pull the door open and was surprised by what she saw. There stood the woman she'd grown to despise. Her mother looked impossibly aged, at just 40 years old. She was tired and it was written all over her demeanor. Rick's words about her mother echoed in her skull, but he was wrong. He was pissed off and he was wrong. That was what she told herself this time. They got right to the point.

"Michonne," she began lowly, her eyes wide and seemingly sincere. Her too-thin structure seemed to make her eyes all the more prominent. "I'm so sorry about what happened. I'm so sorry I didn't do anything to put a stop to it years ago."

"I understood it," she replied instantly, "You were scared of him too."

The unintentional mention of her dad seemed to do it. She knew the piece of shit had touched her mom in the past too. Her mother looked on the verge of a breakdown as they stood in the tall doorway. She wondered how her daughter had become a woman just like that and she had missed out on the process. There were too many tiny, un-communicated thoughts which pieced into a big, unsolvable problem. They didn't know anything real about each other. They grew apart years ago and the pieces would stay undone. Parents were just disappointments waiting to happen.

"You been drinking?" Michonne inquired. The answer was too obvious, the woman's thin figure was worn out and influenced by temporary distractions. From her own daughter and from the rest of the world. The woman was practically unrecognizable.

"Yes," she said, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth in a very familiar way. Michonne shook the thought out. "It's been too quiet with you gone, Tulip."

Michonne's eyes widened at the use of her middle name-her mother hadn't called her by it in years. She scoffed in disbelief. "You really trying to make me feel guilty? I was never your priority. You didn't pay attention to me even when I was happy with you all that time ago. You weren't the only one who lost something important, you know."

Michonne's mother turned away for a moment, and for a second, Michonne thought she had hurt her with those words. She was disgusted with the tiny part of herself that felt decent about it. But the truth was that she'd been away for weeks and her mother had never tried to call or talk about what happened. Words were never uttered out of her mouth. The whole time, she was silent and willfully ignorant.

"I know I hurt you when we stopped talking," her mother continued as if it wouldn't just make things worse. "I know I wasn't there for you when things got too tough and I-I don't even know what to say. Nothing could justify that. The way your dad treated you-the way _we_ treated you-it wasn't okay. It was wrong. I know that now. I'm so, so sorry."

Her mother was sobbing pathetically now, and Michonne fought to keep her own tears where they belonged. She knew what she'd done and Michonne wasn't about to make her think it was okay.

"Is that it?" she asked, her voice cold and void of any type of emotion. Waiting years to give a shitty apology wasn't her idea of sincerity.

"Y-yes," she whispered as she wiped at her tears. Her eyes were drunken and inherently sad.

"Okay, good. I got a phone call to make."

* * *

She looked out the window at the cloud cover and the oncoming pour. The person of interest picked up on the second ring.

"Hi." he sounded breathless, but not in the least hesitant. There was no tremble to the word. She had no doubt the phone was pressed tightly to his ear, the rest of the world temporarily shut out.

"Hi, Rick," Michonne whispered, not even knowing where to begin or what to talk about. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he spoke up on the other side instantly, "Well, I am now. You okay?"

"I'm so-"

"Don't even think about it," he interrupted, "I was the jerk. You were just telling the truth and I lost my temper. I was hearing you but I wasn't really listening. So, I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry I hurt you with what I said. It was a dick thing to do and I knew it. I think time was what we needed."

She could tell just by the way he was talking that he'd been off the drugs for at least a week. Since _the_ week. He sounded excited and tired. He sounded like himself again after yesterday along with those days before it. It felt good to talk to each other without actually having to physically see each other yet. It took away the pressure. They were sweet and kind to each other just like they used to be all the time.

She pondered his words. They were true. The way he was the previous week was an effect of the withdrawal, but she knew he'd deny it if she said the words. It was all it would take. "I know you don't want me to tell you it's okay, but I do forgive you. I know I hurt you too and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you."

The phone was quiet for a moment and she heard low talking on the other side. It took just a couple seconds for her to pick up Judith's voice, due to her terrible attempt at whispering.

"I'm on the phone, Jude. Can't it wait?"

"It can't," she whined, and Michonne actually laughed out loud at her unwillingness. Judith's temper was identical to Rick's in a way that was both hilarious and troubling.

"Please," she dragged out in her twinkling voice. She heard Rick sigh as he gave into her charms.

"Judith wants to talk to you," he spoke up, unaware that she heard the whole thing, "That okay?"

"Yeah," she said instantly, wondering what the kid possibly had to say that was so important.

"Hi Michonne." Michonne could hear the smile in the little girl's voice and she couldn't help but to widen her own. She could almost see Judith's bright blue eyes lighting up at getting what she wanted.

"Hey Judy, what's up?"

"I miss you," Judith pouted dramatically as Rick watched. "And Dare. And Gwen."

Michonne heard Rick laughing on the other end as he tried to hide it. Judith never did give up her precious nicknames for Daryl and Glenn. Michonne joined in before getting back to the topic. Rick kept laughing.

"It's only been one week, kid," Michonne said softly after a pause on the other line. Judith was a sensitive kid who was more in tune to people than most were aware of, including her own parents. "You'll see us again soon, I promise."

She wanted to jokingly call Rick an inappropriate name for being a dick, but she wouldn't with Judith on the phone. The kid was too intelligent for her to spell out the words. She could hear more whispering before Rick took the phone back, much to Judith's disappointment. Michonne missed them the two of them too. She wanted to be able to touch that part of her world. She couldn't wait to see their identical icy blues again. They needed time apart, but neither of them truly wanted it.

"Tomorrow, all of us at the park?" Michonne inquired. It took a lot just to let the words out. "Judy could come if she wanted to."

"Yeah," Rick said instantly. He was relieved at not having to be the one to make the invitation. "That sounds good. I'll tell Daryl. I don't know about Glenn, though." She could hear the frown and see the pout taking its place.

"You think there's something he's not telling us?" She asked truthfully. "He's been acting pretty weird."

"Yeah, I think you're right," he sighed, "But I think we should wait until he's ready to tell us. It could be pretty important."

"Yeah," she pondered, wondering what could possibly be _that_ important. Important enough to miss work and lie to your parents.

Rick could sense the worry she felt even through the phone. He felt it too, just as much. "Hey," he whispered, as if they were together in the moment, "If he doesn't tell us within the next couple weeks, we'll talk to him, okay?"

She let out a breath. "Okay."

They talked on the phone for a little while before agreeing to meet up at the pizza place later that day. Their plans were on the table just like that. There, they would talk about doctors and inevitable promises. Along with the issues they were installed with.

* * *

"How much you got left?" Michonne whispered over the table. She licked her dry lips twice before peeking around the place.

Rick ran a tired hand through his waves before twiddling with his thumbs. It was an indicator of nerves gone wild and they were equally paranoid. "'Bout 200, give or take. You?"

"With my work paychecks? A little more than 400, but I can tap into my savings account too."

This was a discussion they needed to have. The pizza planet was quiet and nearly void of people, which they were grateful for. It made it easier to think.

"Train tickets are 40 bucks a pop, and once we're there, we gotta worry about different types of therapists, which will be at least 80 an hour, transportation, where we'll stay.. you really think this'll work?"

Rick's eyes were deep with worry and inquiry. The pools of ice he called eyes were intense and soft at the same time. They were tired and focused. The two of them hadn't seen each other in just under a week, but if felt like a while they'd been a part. They talked over iced tea with feigned professionalism.

"I don't know," Michonne sighed truthfully. "But I think we should try it. To at least see if it'll work."

"Yeah," Rick agreed with equal determination. "I think it's about time we tried." The jab wasn't personal, but it definitely felt like it was.

"The next train out is tuesday," she whispered across the table. 'We're really gonna do this, aren't we? We're really gonna leave King County."

"It's just for a little while," he pushed gently, "We can always come back if we change our minds or it turns out it isn't what we wanted. Hell, we'll probably run out of money and have to come back anyway. Our parents.. I don't think that'll be a problem."

Michonne laughed without humor. "Mine definitely won't be. What are you telling yours?"

Rick grinned then, pulling something out of his jacket pocket. He lifted up two thin pieces of paper. "University tour."

She smiled back at him, genuinely impressed. "I like the way you think."

"Yeah?" he teased.

"Yeah.. I think this could work," she said, her chestnut eyes lighting up instantly. It'd been awhile since the glint within her deep eyes was so plainly authentic.

Rick watched her as his own smile widened.

"What?" she asked, tapping one of his thumbs from where it lay on the table.

"Your eyes just look so warm when you're happy."

A blush she didn't see coming spread through her cheeks. She was unsure of what to say to that. His own eyes widened as he looked out the window. He tried to focus individually on the drops of water falling onto the pavement outside. They hadn't been this twitchy around each other since they were 14 years old and going through puberty together.

In time, they made trip arrangements on the phone. They sat without saying a word to each other for a while, just looking down at the table or out the window. Michonne cleared her throat before once again licking her lips twice. In need of a distraction, she called the waitress over and politely asked for more tea. Once the waitress obliged, they left a tip and they were out.

* * *

"Jude, come on!" Daryl yelled out as he chased the kid around the park. He dramatically ran slower, pretending he couldn't keep up. "You know I'm an old man."

Judith giggled as plopped herself down onto the ground near the playground. Her knees were scraped up and her wavy hair was thrown into an outlandish ponytail. "You're not an old man, Dare. You're 18."

Daryl scooped her up and put her on top of his shoulders as she tightly held on. "Oh yeah? You proud of yourself for knowin' that?"

" _Please_ don't drop her, Daryl," Rick sighed from where he and Michonne watched under the shade of a nearby oak tree. It was a nice day out, unlike yesterday. The pale blue of the sky was welcomed as it ever was on days like this.

"Don't worry," he assured. "I got her."

Michonne laughed at the way Rick worried about his kid sister so often. It was endearing and it fit his personality.

Daryl put her down a little while later, much to Rick's pleasure, and came to sit with his friends again. Both he and Judith were exhausted from running around the park for nearly 20 minutes. All the while, Rick and Michonne teased the two of them.

"Don't go too far, kid," Rick called out to her as she walked the other direction. She was headed back towards the playground where other kids were.

"I won't," she called without turning around, wearing the dirt on her clothes proudly. She was truly her own person at 4 years old.

"Pass me a smoke?" Rick asked, which caused Daryl's eyebrows to lift in shock. Rick smoked maybe twice a year, if at all.

"Knock yourself out," Daryl said while pulling them out of his pocket, throwing the box of cigarettes to him.

He lit one up instantly. Michonne would never be able to figure out what was so great about filling your lungs with smoke, but she just let the topic go. Daryl strongly disliked talking about it.

"So," Daryl began lowly after leaning up against the tree. "You two leavin' town this week?"

"That's the plan," Michonne piped up. "As long as the weather holds up and everything works out."

Daryl sighed out before shutting his tired eyes. He took the day off work and was happy about it for the first time in a while. His friends were too. Glenn might've been, if he were there with them. They were no longer going to pretend things were normal like they used to be, but they would try to accept the way it was presently.

"Well," he drawled out, "Don't do anything too wild, okay?"

"Yeah," Rick turned to Daryl though his eyes were shut. "I don't think we will."

Unknowingly, Daryl could be just as much of a worry wart as the two of them were. Unfortunately, there wasn't another way. They had to be away from this place.

Michonne pushed Rick's shoulder lightly in disapproval. "We won't. Promise."

A little while later, Tara drove by the park and they waved. It was the peek of their day.

* * *

After the park, Daryl and Michonne went home and it was just Rick alone with his thoughts. Now that he was alone again, the drugs began to whisper to him from the place they were hidden. His veins pulsed painfully and his head throbbed. Just the thought of overdosing made him dizzy. All he could see were sharp, metal edges and white powder on top of the dresser. The door was locked and tightly shut. His parents were out. Any individual thought that wasn't about those drugs was discarded.

Withdrawal was more painful each time. The drugs taunted and whispered to him in the dark. His hands trembled as his skull pounded.

 _Just once. Just this one time._

Rick pushed the thought out. He'd had the same one many times. It wasn't the truth. It wasn't just the one time. This thing was killing him inside. It took the wrong person at the wrong time and the people who cared about him had to watch it transpire. They had to watch it torture and transform the person he was. The plummet was inevitable. It just was.

Just as he was about to give in to temptation, his phone rang loudly. The sound was disturbing and welcomed at the same time.

"Yeah?" he answered without looking to see who it was. He had an inkling.

"I was thinking," Michonne began on the other line, "I know we can't really go to the water tower at the moment, but maybe we could try to stop by Glenn's before we head to the train station tomorrow? It's his birthday next week."

It hit Rick like a ton of bricks. He hadn't forgotten a birthday in a while, but there he was, dumbstruck at forgetting his younger friend was turning 17 on August 2nd. He hadn't even gotten a present yet.

"That's a good idea," he replied uneasily.

Michonne sighed tiredly, "You forgot, didn't you?"

The phone felt like it weighed a thousand pounds all of the sudden as he held it tightly. He hated disappointing people. "..yeah.. what do you think he'd want?"

"You know he likes war games and rpg ones, we could stop by the shopping center then surprise him."

"Oh!" Rick yelled out, an old thought coming back to him. "I know he wanted tekken2, plus the new final fantasy. Probably the new call of duty too. There was that computer update he wanted-"

"Rick," Michonne interrupted. "Between the three of us, we'll be able to do it. I talked to Daryl about it already, you know, while we.. weren't talking."

There was a pause after that time period was brought up for the second time that day. Michonne waited for him to answer through the phone.

"Okay, yeah. I'll be ready tomorrow. 2 o' clock."

* * *

July 28:

They stood outside his door in jackets and jeans. They held a tiny birthday cake along with the presents they bought just hours before. They were really hoping Glenn was home to answer the door, so they wouldn't have to awkwardly explain what was transpiring to his parents.

Then the door opened and there he was, completely unsuspecting of their birthday tradition.

"Surprise!" they yelled in unison, Daryl pushing the tiny white cake into Glenn's face. He took a deep breath before wiping at the cream.

"I'm gonna kill you guys," he threatened, though a happy grin spread across his whole face. "You do know my birthday isn't until _next_ week, right?"

"Of course we know that, dumbass," Daryl scoffed. "It's only been, what, 8 years?"

"Alright, alright," he conceded in defeat. "Come in, I was just hanging out upstairs."

Michonne, Daryl and Rick piled inside, taking their jackets off at the door. They stealthily avoided having to talk with Glenn's parents. That conversation always went the same way, plummeting into unnecessary places.

The dog lay underneath Glenn's computer desk upstairs, his ears perking up at the familiar people. He jumped up to greet them with his tail wagging. After some petting, he settled down back under the desk.

"No way!" Glenn shouted in excitement as he looked through the presents. "You guys didn't have to do this."

" _We did_ ," Michonne winked. "Those ones were Rick's idea," she spoke up.

He'd been unusually quiet since they arrived at Glenn's place.

"Thank you," Glenn said to them. "I don't deserve you guys."

"Where's this talk comin' from?" Daryl teased. "We do this every year, just get used to it."

Rick felt it was a good time to tell him about why they were having his birthday celebration a week in advance. "Uh, there's something important we need to tell you."

"Yeah.. ?" Glenn asked genuinely, looking between Rick and Michonne, to Daryl who looked out the window.

"We're leaving town today-I am. Michonne too," he nodded in her direction. "We're takin' a train out to just outside Atlanta."

"Oh, okay," Glenn said, finding the admission a bit odd. "Why?"

Rick and Michonne glanced at each other then. They hadn't agreed upon what they would tell him and what they wouldn't.

"There's a university tour," Rick said, and he watched as Michonne eyes widened in shock in his peripheral vision. The truth was kept from two different parties in the room, and two could play that game. What Rick said was technically true either way. "Afterward, we might stay a couple days to do some touring."

" _Touring_?" Daryl mimicked suddenly, turning to face them again. Tension was already filling the air. "You're kiddin', right?" Daryl didn't know the whole truth, but he knew the important parts.

Michonne looked guiltily from him to Glenn, even though she hadn't been the one who said it. She might not have said the words, but she let Rick tell them as if they were the truth.

They all seemed to look to her now, waiting for different answers to escape. They were all unusually pale and she was unusually nervous. "Yup."

* * *

They tore up the highway in Daryl's truck as he took the wheel. Rick and Michonne didn't talk as they looked out the window in the opposite direction. Before they knew it, the King County train station was coming into view.

Daryl drove into the parking lot and up the entrance, still not looking at the two of them.

"Don't take too long, okay?" he whispered.

There was something in his voice that made Michonne sad. "Daryl, this is what we have to-"

"Yeah, I know. You already said it 'bout twenty times. Just go and don't do nothin' too dumb, okay?"

They wanted to say more, but the train was coming and it wouldn't wait forever. This wasn't the way they wanted to leave things. With a gloomy sky and sour feelings. It was overwhelming, even with the underwhelming weather outside. It would be while before they saw this place or these people.

"Take care of yourself," Rick said to Daryl before stepping out of the truck with his small suitcase. Michonne followed shortly, her own suitcase already wheeled onto the pavement. It was unemotional, yet it was too.

Just like that, Daryl shot them one last knowing look before driving off. It was just the two of them now. The train was just pulling up on the other side of the divider.

That was when the pouring started, and it was so ironic that they had to find it funny, otherwise, it would be painful.

Rick started to walk for the open door when Michonne grabbed his arm. "Rick, wait."

He turned around, and before he knew it, her plump lips were against his in a kiss. The tip of her tongue touched his as she kissed him with passion. It was probably two seconds, but it meant the world to Rick.

"I wanted to do that for a while," she whispered, coming down from her tippy toes. Water splashed onto both of their faces, but they didn't give a damn. As the kiss took place, people drifted away like background parts.

Rick was breathless just from the shock of it, his teeth showing as he smiled down at her.

He waited for the pour to let up just enough to clear the water from his icy eyes. "I thought we didn't do that type of thing anymore?"

"Yeah, well. I think we just did." She replied before kissing him again. Then she pulled away and boarded the train as if it didn't happen. Some things about her, Rick would never understand.

He grinned to himself with pleasure before following. What waited on the other side was uncertain, but something about what just happened was the truest and most obvious thing he'd known in weeks.

* * *

 _I was terrified. I know you were too but we pretended we weren't._

' _I'd like to be proud but somehow I'm ashamed, sweet little baby in a world full of pain.. I don't know if I can take it. everybody's talking but what's anybody saying? this is to you.. there is only so much I can do, tough for you to witness it but it was tough for me too. I'm using white lighters to see what's in front of me..' r.i.p. to my youth, the neighbourhood_

* * *

your thoughts?


End file.
